Changes
by blacknails512
Summary: Magnus and Alec have been friends since the 5th grade. They're practically brothers. But when Alec starts having weird feelings for Magnus, feelings that brothers shouldn't have, will their friendship crumble? Or turn into something bigger? AU. L8r lemons
1. Alec

**A/N- Hi. It's Ella. This is an actual story instead of a oneshot, though I'm not sure where the hell this is going. But hey, at least it's something. I literally came up with this about fifteen minutes ago…. In the shower…. What? I come up with the best ideas when I'm wet….  
>ANYWAYS!<br>I hope you like it. My brain would appreciate compliments.  
>Disclaimer- I do not own The Mortal Instruments series. Cassandra Clare does. I am just a mere mortal with an imagination not strong enough to come up with such a concept…<strong>

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><p>(Alec POV)<p>

As I looked around the big, green, football field for my other teammates, I noticed something in my peripheral vision. A football. Coming right at me. I noticed that its original receiver was supposed to be Magnus…. I also noticed that it was the perfect opportunity for an interception.

I caught the football (just like I always did) and began to run to the end of the field. This was usually how it went. Me, my brother Jace, my somewhat close friend Simon, and my best friend Magnus went to this field every Friday after school to play some two-on-two football. Simon couldn't throw worth a crap and either me or Jace always intercepted him. You'd think Magnus would learn by now not to let Simon pass the ball….

I could hear the thump of feet just to my left, but what really clued me in as to who was trying to tackle me was the glitter they were wearing. It was Magnus, of course. We've had an ongoing and moderately competitive friendship for as long as I can remember….

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><p>*<em>Flashback*<em>

"_Alec, sweetie," my mother called from the hallway. "Want to come with me to visit the new neighbors?"_

No, _I wanted to say. _They'll probably think we're all mean because we have money. That always happens.

"_Can't you get Jace to go with you?" I whined._

"_Alec, you know he's got the flu." She appeared in my doorway, holding some of her casserole. I guessed it was for the new neighbors. "C'mon, it will only take a few minutes," she said, smiling that smile of hers that said 'I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.'_

_I huffed, but reluctantly got off my bed and trudged down the stairs with a scowl on my face. With my luck the new neighbors will probably have some nine year old girly girl who wants to play Barbies. I don't need another Isabelle in the town. One baby sister was enough for me. _

_My mom looked down at me as we walked across the street. "It's a boy this time," she said, practically reading my mind._

_I silently thanked her. We have enough girls in our neighborhood- Izzy, Clary, Maia and a bunch of others whose names I don't know. But whenever I see them the blush and giggle at me. _

_Faster than I thought, we were standing in front of a nice little brick house with a bright blue door. My mom rang the doorbell and I waited anxiously to see who would answer. _

_It was a girl. But an adult girl. She looked nice. Long, dark hair, green eyes, smiling face. _

"_Hello," she said sweetly. She looked at the casserole. "My, that looks delicious. Please, come on in." She opened the door wider so me and mom could come in. "I think Magnus is excited to meet you."_

_I wrinkled my nose at the name. Magnus sounded like a really bizarre name for a ten year old boy. _

_I saw a tall, but obviously young, boy come down the carpeted stairs. The first thing that popped into my head when I saw him was 'sparkles.' He had glitter in his hair. _Glitter_. The second thing that popped into my head was 'friendly.' He smiled at me and shook my hand without his mom telling him to. _

"_Hi!" he said cheerfully. "I'm Magnus."_

_I looked down at his hand. Do ten year olds usually shake other ten year olds' hands? I wasn't sure what to do so I just shook his hand back and muttered my name to him. _

_I didn't know it then, but as it turns out, Magnus and I had a lot in common…. Besides the whole glitter thing. _

* * *

><p>I was snapped out of my flashback by someone tackling me to the ground. Magnus. I need to stop daydreaming, it's getting me into trouble.<p>

We both collapsed on the ground and I fumbled the ball. Jace and Simon came up to us and (while Simon was laughing at my epic failure) Jace happily picked up the ball and strolled into the end zone.

"Hey," Simon called out to him. "That's not fair!"

Jace smirked at him. "It is to fair," he said. "Clumsy Alec here," he pointed at me, "fumbled the damn ball _again_, and I, being my wonderful self, picked it up and scored the winning goal. HA!"

I wasn't exactly paying attention to my gloating, self-centered brother. I had a bit of a um… situation. Magnus was still on top of me in an awkward position and my pants had suddenly gotten tighter, if you know what I mean….

This has been happening to me for the past few weeks. I've been having… weird feelings about him. I mean, he's gay and we're all ok with that, but I'M not gay. It's probably just a phase or something, I'll get over it. It was just puberty messing with my hormones and all that stuff… Right?

My pants loosened up as Magnus got off of me. He lowered his hand to me and I gladly took it, hoisting myself up.

"Y'know, Simon," I said, hoping I wasn't blushing enough to make it noticeable underneath my already red and sweaty face. "What Jace did was actually completely legal. You just weren't smart enough to do it yourself."

Jace and I bumped fists while Simon just glared at us. He turned to Magnus and said, "Wasn't that illegal?"

Magnus shook his head. "Sorry. Completely legal."

"Whatever," Simon grumbled. "You guys suck."

Jace laughed. "Oh, no," he said. "I don't suck… But I'm not so sure about this one over here," he said, pointing to Magnus. It took me a little while to get what he was saying.

Yeah, sometimes we tease each other and sometimes we tease Magnus about his sexuality and sometimes he teases us about liking girls. No feeling were ever hurt, it was just the way we interacted with each other.

Magnus stared off into space with a bored expression, as if he didn't know he was being spoken to. Then he suddenly snapped his head toward Jace and looked at him with a fake shocked look. "Oh I'm sorry, were you talking to me?" he asked. "I thought you were talkin' to your mom over there."

"Ouch Mag," Jace said, feigning hurt. "That one hurt me. Right here." He pointed to his heart.

"You see," Simon said, casually throwing his arm around Magnus's shoulder, though with some difficulty because Simon was rather short compared to Magnus. Everyone was short compared to Magnus. "This is why I chose Magnus to be on my team. He has the best comebacks. That's why we're the better team."

I piped up now. "If you're the better team, then how come _we _just won, hm?"

"Uh," Simon said, looking around. "No comment."

Smirking, Jace said, "Exactly. Me and my bro are the best… when he can hold on to the ball."

I just shook my head and looked at my now grass stained watch. It was nearly eleven. Curfew was half past eleven. Not wanting mom to freak out, I turned to Jace and said, "Hey, we better get going. Mom will be _pissed_ if we break curfew…like we did on Wednesday."

"Wednesday was not my fault," Jace pointed out.

All three of us gave him a look. "Jace, you forgot to fill up the car and we broke down," I said.

"Yeah," Simon joined in. "My mom almost killed me."

"Not to mention, you just absolutely _had_ to pee so we stopped at that sketchy convenience store," Magnus added.

"And you came back twenty minutes later with the owner screaming at you," I said.

"And two girls, who I assume were prostitutes, hanging on your arm," Simon finished.

Jace was silent for a minute, thinking this over. "Well," he finally said. "It's not my fault the ladies throw themselves at me."

Groaning, I grabbed his elbow and steered him in the direction of our house. "I'll see you guys Monday," I called back to Simon and Magnus.

And then something really weird happened. We all did those 'guy hugs' to say bye. You know those ones where you shake hands and then pull in to slap each other on the back? Well, when Magnus and I did that, I shivered. It wasn't even cold out. Just the way he touched me made me want to give him a real hug. Just to see what it felt like. But, I didn't. That would cause some questions, questions that I didn't want to answer, to come up. Magnus must have noticed my shiver because he raised his eyebrow and gave me a look before turning away and walking to his house.

I decided to just shrug it off and go home. Maybe all I needed was some sleep…

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><p><strong>AN- Sounded better in my head but whatever. What'd you think of it? Good? Bad? Awful? Tell me in a review, k? Thanks, bye :)  
>Oh, and should I change the rating to M? I'm not sure if i should or not... That's why you should tell me in a review...<br>-Ella**


	2. Jace

**A/N- Oh my goodness, you all are so nice to me. As of this moment, I have 15 reviews that are nice! :) So thank you for being nice to me. And I've decided not to change the rating. I may lose reviewers and it's not like I'm writing smut… yet. If I do happen to write smut I'll change it, but until then I'll leave it at T.  
>Disclaimer- I still own nothing. Unfortunately. <strong>

(Still Alec POV)

I groaned as I looked down at the mountainous lump of papers, textbooks, folders, notebooks, and mechanical pencils on my bed. Homework. It was worse than I had originally intended it to be. I could always put it off till tomorrow…. But then my mom would bug me until I did it. I just won't tell her. That's not exactly lying… It's just not telling.

I had just gotten back from the field and was still a little shaken up about the whole Magnus thing. I took a nice, long, _cold_ shower, but my mind was still focused on him. It would be impossible to do my crap-ton of homework when I was so…. Confused.

"Alec?" I heard a small voice say from my doorway.

I looked up and saw my little brother, Max. He was standing there looking tiny with his too big glasses and baggy 'nighttime' shirt. He was only nine and loved to read comic books about superheroes I've never heard of.

"Are you busy?" he asked.

I contemplated this repeatedly. I could either say yes and have to do my obscene amounts of homework, or say no and be forced to read unbelievably weird comic books. I chose the comic books. Anything is better than homework…. except being in the same room with Isabelle when she's painting her nails. *shudder*

"Not anymore," I said. I took my arm and slid it across my bed, pushing all of my homework onto the floor. I smiled and patted the edge of my bed, gesturing for him to come over. "What's up?"

He looked considerably happier when he sat next to me. Max held something out in front of me and I recognized it as his favorite comic book- Spiderman.

"Can you read it to me?" he asked.

"Sure, Max," I said kindly. I couldn't deny him when he looked so cute. Who says no to a little nine year old kid? That's right, no one.

So, I sat there with my lil bro and read him a comic book I didn't understand for more than an hour until he fell asleep. In _my_ bed. I didn't have the heart to wake him up and make him move, so I decided on simply picking him up and carrying him to his room. Jace nearly knocked me over when I was out in the hallway.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Guess What?"

"Jace," I whispered, irritated. "Can this wait? I'm a little busy, as you can see."

He looked down at the sleeping Max in my arms and then back up at me. "Busy with what?" he asked.

The worst part was that he was completely serious. Sometimes I don't understand why I hang out with Jace.

"Are you dense?" I asked.

That just made him even more confused. "What?"

I sighed. "You just answered my question," I said. "Now, if you could kindly move out of my way so I can put Max in his bed, that would be great."

"Well I'll take him," Jace said.

I looked at him. I would never trust Jace with the task of carrying a small child. I pushed past him, but he only followed me. Setting Max in his bed and pulling the covers over him, I looked back at Jace with my eyebrow raised in a 'What the hell do you want?' kind of way.

We both left Max's room and went into the hallway to talk about whatever was so important to him.

"Guess what?" he said again.

"Wh-"

He cut me off. "I've got a date with the hottest girl _ever_!"

Typical Jace. One day Sarah was the hottest girl _ever_ then the next day it was Lizzie, then Alex, then Maggie and so on. The longest I've ever seen him date a girl was a week and a half. The shortest was about ten minutes. If you add alcohol to Jace, multiply by a party at midnight, and subtract all intelligence, it equals Jace and his ten-minute-girlfriend.

"That is just absolutely fantastic for you," I said sarcastically, attempting to push him out of my way and go back to my room.

He pulled me back by my elbow. "Hey," he said. "I'm serious this time. This girl is _perfect_."

"That's what you said last week about Marissa," I pointed out. He looked mad at me so I said, just to make him shut up, "What's her name?"

"Clary."

**A/N- Ok, I know that was short, but it was kind of a filler chapter. Sorry. The next one will be so much better, I promise.  
>Please review!<br>I want to know if I should do Magnus's point of view or stick with Alec's. I can do both.  
>-Ella<strong>


	3. Magnus

**A/N- Hey. You all are so nice to me. I got ten more reviews and I am so very happy. So I decided to do a chapter in Magnus's point of view :) You're welcome.  
>Disclaimer- Me no own Mortal Instruments :'(<strong>

(Magnus POV)

I parted from Alec, Jace, and Simon (who was still pouting) to head to the little apartment I shared with my dad. Ever since my mother died, it's just been me and him… and my cat, Chairman Meow, but he doesn't exactly count.

Grabbing the key from under the mat (how cliché), I made my way up the stairs and to the kitchen. I was about to rummage through the fridge to find some type of junk food to eat when I saw a note on the counter-

_Magnus, _

_Had to work late tonight. I'll be home around one or two. There's Chinese food in the fridge._

_-Dad. _

I vaguely noticed that he didn't say 'love you' before he ended the note. I decided to just shrug it off and go take a shower. I was gross and sweaty and smelled like… well sweat. Sweat and I just didn't go together.

I walked into my room and looked through my drawers until I found my favorite silk pajama pants. They were a gift from my mom…

Tossing the pants onto the towel rack, I bent over and turned on the shower nozzle, hoping the water wouldn't take too long to warm up. I was freaking hungry.

Then I heard a very weird sound. It was a cross between a hiss, a squeal, and a 'MYEH.' I looked down into my shower and saw a sopping wet, probably very cold, Chairman Meow.

He had been sleeping in my shower.

"Chairman Meow," I scolded, picking him up. "You know not to sleep in my shower on Fridays." I wrapped him up in a towel and set him in his little kitty house. "Stay," I said, looking at him firmly.

I only stayed in the shower long enough to scrape the dirt off and make me smell not so gross. I was seriously hungry and not at all tired, so I decided to heat up some Chinese food and wait for my dad to come home.

The next thing I remember is waking up on the couch at ten o'clock with the TV on and being utterly confused. I must've fallen asleep on the couch while I was waiting for my dad. I guess he got home, too, because there was a blanket on top of me.

Rubbing sleep out of my eyes, I sat up and looked around. Sure enough, dad was sitting at the table, eating cereal and coffee.

"Hey," he said. "Look whose up."

I pushed the blanket off of me and sat next to him. "Yeah, I must've dozed off," I said, getting some cereal for myself. "When'd you get home?"

"About one thirty," he said.

"Oh."

This always happened nowadays. Dad and I would try to start a conversation but it would just end up going nowhere. Sometimes I'd try to pick it up again but neither of us was over Mom's death and I was hardly ever in a talking mood.

"You got any homework?" he asked.

"No," I lied. Hey, it's not like I was gonna do it. Might as well say I didn't have any.

"Well uh," he started. "Maybe you should invite some friends over."

"Well uh," I said, slightly mocking him. "I just saw them last night."

He looked like he was about to say 'Well uh' again, but he stopped himself. "That doesn't mean you can't see them again," he answered instead, cleaning up some of his dishes. "You and that kid you like could go hang out or something. What's his name? Alex?"

I knew he was just trying to show some interest in my life, but the last thing I wanted to talk about was Alec. He's been acting really weird lately and I don't know what his problem is.

But, I did need to talk to my dad more, and if that meant talking about Alec then fine. So I just sighed and muttered, "His name is Alec."

"Oh," my dad said. "Well I was close." He picked up my bowl for me and also took it to the sink. "But like I was saying," he continued. "You could always invite over Alec."

I could tell where he was trying to go with this. "Alec is straight, dad."

"But he might not be," he said.

I blinked. "What?"

"Most kids don't find out that they're…" He paused. "_Different_ until they get older."

"Dad," I said slowly. "Alec is 18 and will be going to college next year. I'm pretty sure that if he was gay he would've figured that out by now."

"Well I still think you should invite him over," he said. "You've seemed kind of lonely."

"Yeah, maybe because I'm just one of the few openly gay guys at my school," I muttered.

Apparently he heard me because he said, "Why don't you try talking to one of them?"

"Because." I thought this over. "There are only four others- Will, Michael, Ryan, and Andrew," I explained.

"Yeah, and?"

"And," I said. "Michael is dating Ryan, Will hates me, and Andrew is fat."

At that point, my dad looked really confused. "Why does Will hate you?"

"Uh, let's just say that we once had a very complicated relationship," I said. "Look, if I just call Alec and invite him over, will you drop this whole subject?"

"Only if you take him to lunch," he said.

I sighed, hoping he was kidding, and took out my cell phone. I pressed number one and it automatically dialed Alec's number. Yes, he was my speed dial number one. What does it matter?

Then I braced myself to see what he was going to say. Rather, what _I _was going to say. How am I supposed to phrase something like that in a way that won't give away the fact that I have a crush on him?

He picked up on the third ring, "Hey."

"Uh…" I waved my dad away. He left, winking at me. "Hey."

"What's up?"

I cleared my throat. "I was just wondering if you wanted to come over and hang out, maybe grab some lunch later."

I waited patiently for his reply, "Yeah, sure," he said. "I need to get out of the house anyways."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah," he said. "Jace has been talking non-stop about his stupid girlfriend."

"Marissa?" I guessed.

He scoffed. "No," he said. "Some girl, Clary."

I had never talked to any Clary's before. "Is she in our grade?"

"Apparently," he said, slightly irritated. "I've seen her before but I haven't ever talked to her."

"Me neither."

Alec was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, but anyways, is it ok if I come over right now? Jace's talk of Clary is torture."

I chuckled quietly. "Anything Jace says is usually torture, but yeah that's fine."

"Kay, see you in a few."

"Bye," I said.

"Bye." And then he hung up.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and suddenly realized something- I was still wearing my pajama pants and had absolutely _no _glitter on. This was a problem.

I rushed to the bathroom and threw on a shirt and some bright skinny jeans. God, I love those skinny jeans…. Anyways, I ran a comb through my hair but decided to leave it down. Those spikes take at least forty-five minutes to create and I was low on gel. Besides, my hair looks amazing against my skin. Just saying.

Just as I walked out of the bathroom, the buzzer… buzzed and I strolled nonchalantly to the door. This was going to be interesting with my dad around…

**A/N- Sooooo how'd you like it? I concur that I absolutely love Magnus Bane. He is just so… Magnus-y. Who else loves Magnus? If you love him, then give me some glitter in your review and I'll make sure he gets it. BUT! I will not update until I get at least 12 reviews. That's a random number, I know, but 10 is so little and fifteen is so much and saying 13.5 is just NOT going to work out. So, yeah review pretty please with lots n lots of Malec on top.  
>-Ella<strong>


	4. Unexpected

**A/N- Oh my. 40 reviews. Thank you all so very much. I would've update at like 2:30 but my teachers decided it would just be a freaking awesome idea to give me a ton of homework. –Insert sarcastic and unenthusiastic finger twirl here- and then I had a headache from outer space, nearly puked, and now I still have a headache. But, as I was struck with a monster headache, I was also struck with a monster idea and this was born. I'm warning you now; this will be a looong chapter…  
>Disclaimer- I don't own the Mortal Instruments no matter how hard I wish I did.<br>P.S. - Magnus really liked all the glitter you gave him :D  
>P.P.S – Fanfiction wouldn't let me log in for like a day and a half. This happen to anyone else? DX<strong>

(Alec POV)

As Magnus opened the door to his apartment, I was struck with that feeling again. The feeling that made me just want to get closer to him. But I just shrugged it off and blamed my hormones again. He smiled at me and the feeling got stronger.

He looked different. Good different. His hair was down, which it rarely ever was, and he was wearing skinny jeans. Really nice skinny jeans that showed off his…. Legs…. And he was hardly wearing any makeup. Just some black eyeliner.

I noticed someone come out of the hallway behind him. It was his dad.

"Hello, Alec," he said cheerfully. He had this look on his face, like he knew something I didn't know. That slightly concerned me and slightly confused me, but I barely took notice of it. I was too busy looking at Magnus.

Magnus had opened the door wider and I stepped inside his neat little apartment. It was just as cozy and familiar as the last time I was over.

"You came here quickly," he said, shutting the door behind him. "Was Jace that unbearable?"

I nodded, sighing. "He was pretty bad," I said. Magnus lead the way to his room and I followed him cautiously. "But now I guess he'll have to bug Izzy instead."

He grinned at me and that feeling tugged at my heart strings. "I guess so," he said.

We walked into his room, the room I was so jealous of. He had his own bathroom, his own futon, his own TV, his own _huge_ bed, _and_ his own game system and surround sound speakers. Can't get any better than that.

"Guess who got the new Halo game?" he asked, still grinning.

"Me?" I asked in a fakely hopeful way.

Magnus just chuckled. "No, me!" He dug through his ridiculous video game shelf/drawer and pulled out what looked to me like a brand new game. He smiled and popped it into the game console. It made some weird pinging noise and flashed a bunch of different colors. A deep voice announced that this was going to be an 'epic adventure' and I could almost believe that.

We played for who knows how long before Magnus's dad came into his room to 'check on us.' Which is weird because he's never checked on us when I came over last week with Jace and Simon… He also said that he was going to head to work and take the only car they had so Magnus and I were just going to have to stay at Magnus's house for lunch. We had already sort of pigged out on a bunch of junk food and I had taken the bus to his house, so that wasn't much of a problem.

After another half hour or so, we decided to shut off the game and just sit around and do nothing. Together, we sat on his bed, with a family sized bag of potato chips that was already half empty, and just… talked. Talking to Magnus was nice. He always knew what to say and when to say it and how to say it. His voice was velvety and calming. I bet he could sing real well, too, if he tried. Maybe he could try out for the play this year. Or the talent show. I don't think he knows how amazing his voice sounds.

"Alec?" Magnus said, waving his hand in front of my face. "Anyone home?"

I realized I had been completely zoning out while he was talking. "Oh, sorry," I said. "What?"

"You were just staring into space for about three consecutive minutes," he said, grinning again. He raised an eyebrow. "You need some water or something?"

I laughed nervously. "Uh, no," I said. I looked down at the chip bag. "But I do think we need another bag of chips. This one is half empty."

Magnus just looks at me and takes the bag, his fingers brushing against mine. "I believe you mean this one is half full," he said.

I pulled the chip bag back. "Same difference," I said, smiling. "You optimist."

"You pessimist."

He leaned forward to grab some chips at the exact same time I did and our hands touched again. And, I know this is going to sound so sappy and unrealistic and _cliché_ but… Something happened where we both looked at each other, straight in the eyes. Magnus had this weird look on his face. One that seemed like he wanted to do something more, wanted to lean in and just be close to me. I'd seen that same look before… on my face. He was feeling the same way I was.

That scared me a little.

But it also excited me.

Before I even knew what was happening, our lips were crashing together. I'm not sure if he kissed me or I kissed him or we both simultaneously kissed each other. All I knew was that we were kissing. I was kissing Magnus Bane.

My best friend.

I suddenly pulled away. I couldn't do this. Not with him. Magnus had been my best friend since he moved into this town and I couldn't just kiss him out of the blue. I… I wasn't gay. At least I didn't think so. I was so confused and had so many thought running through my head- What if we do have a relationship and something goes wrong? What if we stopped being friends? _What if someone found out? _

I hopped up of the bed, nearly pushing the chips off as well, and grabbed my jacket from his desk chair. I stuttered some excuse for me leaving, though I'm sure it sucked and he didn't believe me. As I hurriedly walked out of his room, I tried my best not to look at him, but I did get a glimpse of his disappointed face and his sigh. Then I was out on the street, a few blocks away from the bus stop. I had sprinted out of there like my life depended on it. Then I felt guilty. If I had just stayed there and kissed him like I knew I wanted to then I wouldn't feel so guilty. What was I supposed to do?

(Magnus POV)

I watched in silence as Alec sprinted from my house muttering something along the lines of, "My laundry must be done now. I have to go get it before it wrinkles and stuff."

Sighing, I placed my head in my hands and resisted the urge to cry. Today hadn't turned out the way I had planned.

Then my cell phone rang. I hoped against all hope that it was Alec, but I knew it wasn't. It was some unknown number. I pressed talk anyways and said angrily, "What?"

"Hello," a friendly female voice said. "Is this Magnus Bane?"

"Uh," I said, not recognizing the voice. "Who is this?"

"This is Miranda from Brooklyn Hospital," she said.

"What happened?"

"There's been an emergency. You need to come to the hospital as soon as possible."

That did not answer my question. "What. Happened?" I repeated.

"It's your father."

**A/N- Oh my goodness you all probably hate me for multiple reasons- Making Alec freak out, not updating as fast as I should (that's fanfictions fault, not mine) and for making Magnus's dad get hurt. Please don't hate me or flame me. Please just review. I'll be fine if you're angry, just no hatred please.  
>It has to get worse before it gets better, but it WILL get better.<br>Magnus would also like some more glitter.  
>-Ella<strong>


	5. Tears

**A/N- Okay, I have two things to say. 1) I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, I had play rehearsal until 5 and didn't get home till 6 then had to eat dinner and then do my homework and blah blah blah excuses excuses. 2) OMG I have 53 reviews from you guys! (Magnus says thanks for the glitter by the way) Thank you all so much for review. I'm happy. :D  
>I'll just get on with it now.<br>Disclaimer-I OWN NOTHING!**

(Alec POV)

I was standing at the bus stop, furious with myself for being an idiot back at Magnus's place. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, _I thought. I had definitely _wanted_ to kiss Magnus, but I _couldn't_. My brain said it was weird and wrong, but my gut and my heart and all the other parts of my body said that kissing Magnus was so right and perfect.

I was so confused.

I heard someone coming up to the bus stop. I turned slowly, still slightly lost in thought, and saw none other than Magnus. I thought he was coming back so he could talk to me and sort things out, but then I saw the look on his face. He seemed frantic and scared out of his mind. _Is that because of _me? I thought.

When he made it to my spot, I tried to talk to him without stuttering like a moron. "Um, Magnus," I began, not sure what to say. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened at your house and I should have just stayed so we could talk about…" I paused as I realized he wasn't listening to me. Magnus was looking over my shoulder, for the bus I assume, and he kept opening his cell phone and looking down at it like it would give him all the answers to the universe. "Magnus," I said, snapping my fingers in front of his face. He turned to me but said nothing, just continued to look scared. "What? Are you just not gonna talk to me anymore?" I asked.

Finally, he spoke to me, "Sorry, Alec but there's an emergency and really need to get to the hosp-"

"What happened?" I asked, cutting him off.

He carefully and quickly explained how, just after I ran out of there, he got a call from the hospital saying there was an emergency and his father was hurt in some way. He had hung up before the receptionist got to tell him what happened.

I felt so bad for him. His best friend kisses him then runs away, and then his dad has to go to the hospital. Somehow, I felt like all of this was my fault. Don't ask me why, because I don't know, but I just got a feeling in the pit of my stomach that if I had just kissed him then none of this would've happened.

"I'll come with you," I said as the bus pulled off and people started crowding into it.

For a second, I thought he would say no, but he just nodded and headed toward the bus. We climbed on together and took a seat near the back. Magnus had his eyes closed and was breathing slowly. I could tell he was worried sick, literally. He was pale and clammy. But, I'm pretty sure anyone would if they had a day like his.

About ten minutes later we were still miles from the hospital and Magnus was getting antsy. "Can this bus get any slower?" he muttered.

I looked forward to the bus driver then got up, leaving Magnus to look at me questioningly. At the next stop, I tapped the bus driver's shoulder and he turned around in his seat. "Excuse me," I said politely. "Do you think you could go any faster?"

He scoffed. "Listen, kid," he said gruffly. "I know you're probably late to one of your stupid teenage parties and whatnot, but this old hunk of junk won't go any faster."

That kind of pissed me off. Not all teenagers were stupid party animals … only most of them were.

"No, you listen," I said angrily. "My best friend's dad is in the hospital and we don't know why. That's a bit of situation, y'know? So, unless you can find me some other way to get to Brooklyn General Hospital in the next fifteen minutes, I'm going to keep bugging you about it!"

He looked mildly angry, but also a little… impressed? He nodded slowly. "I like you, kid," he said. "You're tryin' to help out your friend and I understand where you're coming from. I'll try and speed it up a bit."

"Thank you," I said breathlessly. Then I turned and walked back to Magnus who still looked confused and scared. The bus started to move again, and it was going faster.

He raised an eyebrow. "What was that about?" he asked.

I just shrugged. "Nothing. Told the bus driver to speed up a little."

Both his eyebrows went up now. "Really?"

"Yeah."

He looked at me and his eyes softened. "Thanks," he said.

"No problem."

We both fell into a strained silence. I could tell he was going through all of the different scenarios as to how his dad got into the hospital. His face was a little twisted up and he looked just about ready to cry. I looked at him for a few more seconds. He didn't notice; he was staring out the window. I silently reached out and took his hand in mine. I wanted some way to tell him that everything would be fine and I would always be there for him, but I wasn't sure how to put that into words. To me, the easiest way to tell him that he wasn't alone was to take his hand and never let go until we were in the hospital.

He didn't look at me or say anything, but he squeezed my hand and I knew he understood what I was trying to say, and that he was thanking me for doing so.

At the next stop, I realized that the bus driver was making people get on quicker. He was ushering people around and herding them into random seats, sometimes complaining that they were going too slow. I smiled a little. It was kind of entertaining.

Eventually, and faster than I thought it would take, Magnus and I were at the receptionist's desk at the hospital.

"Hello," she said. Her voice was nasally and she sounded snotty. "How may I help you?" she asked in a way that sound more like 'What the hell do you want?'

"I'm Magnus Bane," Magnus said. "I got a call about a half hour ago saying that my father was here."

She looked bored. Her nametag read 'Hello! My name is _Sharon_.' Even her name sounded snotty. "What's your father's last name?"

Magnus sighed and said quite impatiently, "_BANE_."

"Well," she said clicking her pen over, and over, and over again. "If you're gonna be a little asshole then I'm not letting you see anybody."

Magnus slammed his hands down on her desk, making her nearly jump out of her skin and causing a few people to look our way. "Listen, bitch," he said, fuming. "If you don't let me see my dad, who may or may not be on the brink of death, then I will take that damn pen and stab you with it repeatedly until you either bleed out and die, or _beg _to die. You understand me?"

Sharon nodded. "He's in room 305. Just go down the hall, up two sets of stairs, and then it's the fifth door on the left; you can't miss it," she said quickly.

Magnus smirked. "I would say thank you," he began. "But I shouldn't have to thank you for doing your damn _job_."

She nodded, looking pale. Her pen was lying on her desk now.

Magnus and I walked away. I was a little surprised at Magnus for snapping at the receptionist like that. He never got that angry… not around me at least. But then I realized that this was his _dad_ we were talking about and he had a right to be angry at the bitchy girl who wouldn't let him see his dad.

Magnus took the stairs two at a time, with his long legs. I was slightly struggling to keep up. I was at least seven inches shorter than him.

We reached room 305 and Magnus didn't bother knocking or anything, he just pushed the door open.

I came up behind him and saw someone lying in a white bed. That person had cuts and blood and bandages all over him. It was definitely Magnus's dad, but not the same person I remembered from just a few hours ago.

Magnus walked over to him and sat down on one of the two chairs sitting next to the bed. I took the one next to him. He sighed and looked down at his dad with I look that made my heart clench. He was obviously trying to keep himself together.

Suddenly, there was a series of loud, fast beeping noises and a bunch of nurses came running in. They hardly took any notice of Magnus or me. One did, however. He looked at us and said, "Guys, you can't be in here right now."

One of the nurses turned around and looked at Magnus. I recognized her as Jamie, who lived a few houses down from Magnus's apartment. I didn't realize she was a nurse in _this _hospital.

"Alan," she said, scolding. "That's his son, just let him stay, alright?"

The man she called Alan muttered, "Fine, whatever. But if he gets in the way, he's out of here."

The doctors carefully turned Magnus's dad onto his back. And right there, in the center of his back, probably on his spine, was a huge, bleeding gash. I heard Magnus inhale sharply. He turned around and practically ran out of the room. I followed him.

I found him sitting against the wall near the door with his knees pulled up to his chest. He looked pale and sick. I sat next to him and he sighed. Not sure what to say to make him feel better, or if I could make him feel better at all, I put my arm around him and he put his head on my shoulder, breathing deeply. I noticed that he was choked up, but wasn't crying yet. That took real strength. To see your father, lying face down, with a huge gash in his back and still manage to hold in your tears was incredible to me. I knew Magnus was hurting, but I think he was trying to be strong for his father's sake. I know Magnus well enough to realize that he thinks that if he doesn't cry or complain about it, then whatever it was he was upset about would go away.

That's not always true.

About ten minutes later, Jamie came in and said she wanted to talk to us in Magnus's dad's room. We all walked in together and Magnus and I sat down in the same seats we had sat in the first time we were in the room. All of the other nurses and doctors had left.

Jamie sighed and looked like she had to tell us something, but really didn't want to.

"Magnus," she said kindly. "Your dad was in an accident on his way home from work."

I tuned out then, looking cautiously at Magnus. His eyes got filled with more and more tears as Jamie continued to speak. I got small parts of what she was saying, "Spinal injury," "critical condition," "may not make it." Then she said she would leave Magnus and his dad alone for a while.

She left and I got up to follow her, but Magnus caught my arm and pulled me back down to my seat. "Please stay," he said with a cracking voice.

I sat quietly and watched Jamie close the door behind her.

Almost as soon as the door clicked into place, Magnus crumbled. He put his face in his hands and sobbed these heart wrenching sobs that made me shed a few tears. I quickly swept them away. I didn't want Magnus to see me cry, too. That would just make it worse for him.

"I can't lose another parent," he said. His voice was nothing more than a raspy whisper. I felt my heart clench again.

"Magnus," I said gently, rubbing his back. "You know how strong your dad is. He's stronger than anyone I know." _Besides you,_ I thought. "He's a fighter. He'll pull through."

Magnus looked at me, his flawless skin now stained with tears and eyeliner. "You said the same thing when my mom was in the hospital," he said, still crying. "And now she's gone."

As awful as it may sound, I didn't truly think his dad would make it. Spinal injuries were really serious… and really fatal. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought, and I didn't know any other way to reassure him, so I brought him closer to me and hugged him. I held him tight to me and didn't let go.

I didn't know what else to do, so I just sat there hugging him and letting him cry until he eventually calmed down. I think that was all I could do at that moment.

Just be there and hold him.

**A/N- *sniffle* is anyone else about to cry/already crying? It was really hard for me to write this and my dad came into my room and I had to pretend that I was just having allergy issues. But anyways, please please please review. Your reviews decide whether or not Magnus's dad lives…  
>And don't hate me.<br>-Ella**


	6. Hands

**A/N- Sorry sorry sorry I didn't update. I was sick and now I'm at a hotel and I'm using my dad's laptop so I only have a few minutes to type this up.  
>Disclaimer- The usual.<strong>

(Magnus POV)

I continued crying until I trusted my voice enough to speak. "Alec?" I asked softly. My voice was still cracking and raspy, which just made me feel worse. "Can we go now?" 

Alec looked at me kindly, but not in a pitying way, like the looks I got from most people. "Sure," he said. "Where to?"

I thought about that for a moment. I didn't want to go to my house and I sure as hell didn't want to stay at the hospital, so I simply said, "Anywhere." 

To me, his reaction was slightly unexpected. He didn't look at me like I was crazy but he nodded and suggested we go to his house so I could 'clean up.' When I looked at him questioningly, he gestured to the small mirror in the bathroom next to my dad's bed. I got up, walked over to the mirror, and gasped. My eyes were red and puffy, my eyeliner was running and now drying on my cheeks, and my hair lost its sheen. I never let myself get like that, unless I'm in the privacy of my own home.

I felt something at my hand, and I realized it was Alec. He was holding my hand again. "C'mon," he said, tugging my hand. "Let's go."

I just followed him and walked down the hallway to the bottom of the stairs. He still hadn't let go of my hand, and if it had been any other day of my life I would've grinned like an idiot. But my hand in his didn't send as much of a thrill as it might've if my dad hadn't been dying.

We met Jamie near the exit. She had her purse and backpack so I assumed she was on her way home, too.

"Hey guys," she said. She raised her eyebrows a little when she saw that Alec and I were holding hands. I felt Alec's hand leave mine, and I have to say, that kind of hurt. Of all of the days in his lifetime, he chose that certain day not to be there for me. "Do you two want a ride?" Jamie offered.

Alec looked to me, but I didn't look back at him. I just nodded and the three of us headed out the door. I heard Alec sigh behind me, but I tried not to think about it much. I really wanted to take his hand again, but I was sure he would just pull it away, and I couldn't take much more before I burst into tears again.

The ride to Alec's house was slow, silent, and ridiculously awkward. I could tell Jamie was preoccupied with driving and looking in the rear-view mirror to check on me, and Alec was busy trying to get me to look at him, so I just stared aimlessly out the window and tried as hard as I could to get the image of my dad out of my head. It was terrible to look at.

Eventually, we made it to Alec's house in one piece. Jamie said goodbye to us both and gave me one of those bone-crushing hugs that women always give. I think she meant to make me feel better, but she really just made my back hurt.

After she left, I walked into Alec's house without even turning to look at him. He sighed again, but it made me feel awful. I knew I should've just talked to him and sorted things out, but after all that had happened that day, I didn't want to talk to anyone about anything.

Alec followed me to his room, but I veered right and went straight into the bathroom. I needed to get that eyeliner off of me. It was starting to itch.

Then, I heard a garage door open and realized that it was probably Alec's parents. I knew that his dad usually got home at about this time, because whenever I came over after school, Robert was home in about ten minutes.

I turned to the mirror and stared at my complexion for a good five minutes, feeling nothing. I turned on the sink and splashed water on my face, hoping for something, anything, good to happen.

(Alec POV) 

As I was walking out of my room, I ran smack into someone. I figured it was Magnus, but when I looked up, it was my dad.

He seemed just as confused as I was. "Hello, Alec," he said, looking at his watch. "You're home early."

"Uh," I stammered. "Yeah, well, Magnus had a, uh," I paused again, thinking about how I could possibly put the situation into words. "Magnus had a _situation _at home, so we decided to come here."

My dad appeared to be thinking about something and I didn't even know if he was listening to me. "Which one is Magnus again?" he asked. I sighed. My dad was always getting my friends mixed up, which generally confused me because I only had two friends. And they were completely different from each other. My dad looked at me long and hard. "Is Magnus the one with the glasses?" he asked.

"No, he-"

Dad cut me off, "Oh, he's the queer one, right?"

I winced at the word 'queer.' It seemed like an odd way to describe Magnus, though it was completely accurate. My dad could've said 'sparkly' or 'flamboyant.' But, no, he chose 'queer; so I just nodded my head.

He looked like he was about to say something else but stopped and looked over my shoulder at something. I turned around and saw Magnus, all cleaned up, walking down the hallway.

"Hello there, Magnus," my dad said, smiling.

Magnus nodded curtly at him, looking pissed at me and depressed about life in general.

"If you don't mind me asking," dad began. "What happened that made you two come here? Alec said you had a situ-"

"-Dad! I really need to talk to you about something," I interrupted. I hadn't been very helpful to Magnus in the past hour, and I thought the least I could do was explain what happened so he didn't have to. "It's really _really_ important," I added.

My dad looked even more confused now, but he nodded and walked towards the library. I looked back at Magnus and he mouthed 'thank you' to me. I smiled and followed my dad.

When we got to the library, he looked at me suspiciously. "Alexander," he said. "What's going on?"

I quickly and quietly explained to him what happened to Magnus's dad. He didn't say or do much, but he nodded a lot. When I was finished, he suggested calmly that Magnus stay the night, which was not what I was expecting at all. He didn't take much interest in my friends, most of the time anyways, but I guess today was different… because of Magnus's dad.

My dad went and got Magnus an extra toothbrush and some sweat pants. Magnus looked grateful to stay at my house, but he didn't say so. I could see it in his eyes that he was still very upset. Anyone would be upset.

We went into my room and sat on my dinky little bed. He still wasn't looking at me, and it was making me hate myself. I should've sucked it up and held his damn hand, just like I should've kissed him back at his house. That seemed like days ago, when, in reality, it was only a few hours.

"Magnus," I said gently. "I know this is probably the last thing on your mind, but I really want to apologize for the way I was acting back there…"

He finally looked at me and I nearly sighed when I saw how vulnerable he looked. He seemed like a kicked puppy. "It's ok, really," he said. "I'm not mad. I actually understand how you feel right now," he went on. I loved the sound of his voice… "You don't want to admit that you're gay and I know-"

"Whoa, wait," I said. He raised a startled eyebrow at me and I continued. "I'm not… _gay_. It's just my hormones messing with my head." Immediately I knew I had said the wrong thing.

Magnus was genuinely surprised and hurt that I had said something like that. "Alec, you're in denial," he said angrily. "How could this have anything to do with your hormones?"

I stuttered, thinking. There was no way to make any sense of what I had just said, so I shrugged and looked at the floor.

"Look," he said, his voice sounding gentler this time. "I know exactly how you feel, but you're going to have to face the truth eventually."

I shrugged again, emitting a sigh from Magnus.

"Actually," he said. "Can we not talk about this right now? I kinda just want to sit around and do nothing." I nodded, knowing what he meant. He thought for a moment before asking, "If I cry again, will you still hold my hand?"

"Of course," I said, after much debate. And I felt so ashamed of myself for being awful and stubborn. I could tell that he was just trying to help me, and that he liked me, but thinking of being gay was too much for me at the moment. I wanted to sit around and do nothing, too. And I had just the right person to do nothing with.

**A/N- Short, I know. But again, I'm sick and my dad keeps bugging me to give him his laptop back and I'm like 'Dude, give me a minute! Magnus and Alec have to talk!' and he's like 'Whaaaaat?'  
>So, anyways, review please. And thank you for the awesometastic 64 reviews that I have right now :D you guys are so amazing.<br>PLEASE REVIEW! (I'm a total review whore)**

**-Ella :D**


	7. Sleep

**A/N- I feel so much better! YAY! And thanks to Reipersecutoria (did I spell that right?) for being awesome! She rocks! Anyway, here's chapter 7! ENJOY!  
>Disclaimer- If I owned the Mortal Instruments series, then no one would buy it.<strong>

(Magnus POV)

"No, really," I said for the third time. "I'll just sleep on the floor."

"Magnus," Alec said firmly. "You've had a bad day. Now you're going to sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the floor. "

"But-"

"Go."

I sighed and muttered, "Fine." He had already done enough for me by letting me stay over at his house. It felt weird to sleep in his bed while he was on the floor. But, he was right. I'd had a bad day and arguing with him would just make it worse.

I sat down on the bed and closed my eyes when he turned off the light. I saw his dull shadowy outline cross the room and lay down on top of a bundle of blankets and pillows on the floor.

I started thinking about my dad again. Involuntarily, of course. It was hard not to think of him when my mind had finally calmed down and I was trying to sleep. I always thought of bad things before I went to sleep, which usually meant that I had terrible nightmares about whatever it was that I had been thinking about.

It was so unfair. My dad was such a good person. He didn't deserve this. Not after what happened to my mom… That's just too much for one person to handle.

I felt dampness on my cheeks. I was crying… _again_. I swept away my tears and tried in vain to keep quiet.

"Magnus?" I heard Alec say.

I knew that if I spoke, my voice would crack and it would give me away. "Hm?"

Alec was silent for a minute and for a second I thought he hadn't heard me. Then I heard a quiet, "You're crying again." He said it as a statement, not a question.

Damn it.

I tried not to sniffle like a little kid who lost their puppy, but I did anyways. I heard a ruffling of sheets and pillows then saw Alec's shadow again. I felt the bed move under a new weight and noticed that Alec was sitting on his bed, beside me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked kindly. "Maybe that'll help you feel better."

I just shook my head and buried my face in my pillow. He wasn't giving up though.

"You sure?" he asked.

I sighed and sat up to face him. It warmed my heart to see him look concerned for my well-being. The only other time he had had that look on his face was when my mother had died and we were at her funeral. He was crying then, too, but only because he really knew my mom.

"I don't know," I said. "If I talk about it too much then I'll just break down and cry again."

"And I'll hold your hand again."

I looked at him in silence. Things were still pretty awkward between us. And I was still pretty pissed at him for dropping my hand like it was on fire at the hospital.

"Alec, I…" I was going to say that I didn't want to talk about it, but I stopped myself. Maybe he was right. Maybe talking about it would make me feel better. "I'm scared," I said instead.

His expression didn't change much, but I thought I saw a hint of surprise flash through his blue eyes. It might've been my imagination, though. It was dark at the time.

"Care to elaborate?" he asked.

I wasn't sure how. There was a lot on my mind at that moment, so I simply spoke my mind. My _entire_ mind. "What am I going to do if I lose my dad?"I said quietly. "How will I pay for college? Where will I live? How could I possibly deal with that?" My voice cracked a little but Alec remained silent so I continued. "And what if he does live? I'm sure medical bills will be through the roof and he'll need to be taken care of and have physical therapy and…" I paused, taking a deep breath. "And I don't know what to do."

Alec was quiet for a minute or two before he said softly, "I wish I could help you more." He bit his lip and looked down at his bed. "You know that you're always welcome to stay at my place," he said. "But I don't think that makes up for the way I've been acting."

I shook my head. "That's not important anymore."

"No, Magnus," he said. He somehow found my hands in the darkness and squeezed them. "You need to know that I really like you, but I'm confused right now. I truly am sorry for the way I've treated you today and I feel awful about it. I'm not sure how to apologize for my behavior but I will say this- I'm always here for you and if you ever need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call me." As he finished speaking, he looked up at me and his features changed into a somewhat startled expression. "Please don't cry," he whispered. "You'll make me cry."

"I'm not crying," I said.

Alec reached up and drew the pad of his thumb over my cheek. When he held it up again, it was wet. I touched the tips of my fingers to my other cheek. It was wet, too. Alec put his hand over top of mine and grasped it tightly. I knew what he was going to do before he even did it, and I braced myself as he pressed his lips against mine in a whisper of a kiss. It was longer and sweeter than the one earlier that day. This time, when Alec pulled away, he didn't freak out or run away- he just smiled at me.

"I wanted to try that again," he said shyly. "See if it helped clear my head a bit."

"Did it?" I asked.

"I don't know," he answered. Even in the dimness of his room, I could tell that he was blushing. "Maybe we should try again."

I didn't answer him, not with words anyway. I squeezed his hand harder and leaned into him again. Our lips were just about to touch…

When someone knocked on his door.

Alec visibly tensed and I sighed. "Just ignore it," I whispered, but the person at the door knocked again, louder and more insistent.

I felt Alec pull away from me as he said, "Come in."

Then, in walked Jace Wayland- Moment killer.

"Yo, Alec," he said loudly. "I need to copy, I mean _borrow_, your English essay."

"Jace," Alec said exasperatedly. "I haven't even done it yet."

"Well, that doesn't mean you can't…." I heard Jace pause. "Hey Magnus!" he said, even louder. I began to wonder if he was intoxicated or something. "I didn't know you were comin' over!"

"Yeah," I said. "Me neither."

Jace thought for a moment. "Do _you_ have your essay?" he asked, his words slurring together. Yep, he was drunk.

"Nah, sorry," I said.

"Oh damn," he said. "Well, I gotta go. Clary wanted me to call her when I got home to make sure I was okay. She thinks I'm drunk or something and I was like 'Bitch, I am _not_ drunk!' But I didn't actually call her a bitch because that would just get me slapped and not in the good way, if you know what I mean."

"Jace," Alec said before he could continue rambling. "Leave."

"Okay, Mr. Bossy-Pants," Jace said. He turned and began to walk out of the room, but he stopped with his hand on the doorknob. "Oh, and Alec," he asked.

"What?"

Jace grinned like an idiot. "I _loooove _you," he said, choking on giggles. The he stumbled out of the room, closing the door behind him and engulfing us in darkness once more.

Alec shook his head at the door. "When he pukes," he muttered. "I'm _not _cleaning it up."

That made me genuinely smile for the first time that day.

"So," I said, eyeing the clock. It was nearly two in the morning. We had been talking for hours. "I think I'm going to try to go to sleep."

Alec looked at the clock as well and his eyes grew a little bit wider. "Me, too," he said.

"And uh," I said. I cleared my throat. "Thanks for listening to me."

He smiled. "Anytime." He moved to get off the bed and head back to the floor, but I caught his wrist and pulled him back to me.

"Wait," I said. "One more thing."

"What is it?" he asked, concerned.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his one last time. I wanted to end the night in a good way and go to sleep thinking about him.

"Goodnight Alec."

"Goodnight Magnus."

**A/N- Kind of lame, kind of sappy, but sweet. I love Alec and Magnus so much and I want them to be together in public ASAP but we have to deal with his dad and Alec being stuck in the closet. *sigh* I want to make him come out already, but I have other plans for him right now *evil laugh*  
>Oh, I almost forgot- REVIEW!<br>I need 13 more reviews until I post chapter 8.  
>Mwuahahahaha!<br>Tehe, please review :)  
>-Ella<strong>


	8. Headache

**A/N- I love every single one of you guys! You are all so awesome for reviewing. :) you guys rock! So here's chapter 8!  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing.<strong>

(Magnus POV)

The first thing I did when I woke up was smile… then groan. I smiled because I was thinking of Alec's lips on mine and I groaned because I had an awful headache.

I turned my head to the side to look at the clock and groaned again. It was almost noon.

Then, I heard the door open and I lifted my head up just enough to see who it was but not enough to make it hurt any more. It was Alec.

"Hey," he said sweetly. "You're up."

"Yeah," I said, sitting up fully now. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Oh, well uh," he stuttered. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. "You seemed so… peaceful and I didn't want to disturb you," he said.

"Oh, thanks."

Silence.

"Actually," I said. "Do you have any aspirin or something? My head is killing me."

"Yeah," he said, heading to the hall. He stopped in the doorway and turned to face me. "Oh, I almost forgot," he said. "The hospital called today."

I felt my heart stop and I sat straight up, feeling my head throb with pain. I ignored it. "What happened?" I asked sharply.

"Nothing," Alec said quickly. "They're just missing one of your dad's insurance papers." I let out a sigh of relief. "And," he continued. "I thought, maybe, you and I could go to your house and see if we can find it, but if you're not feeling well I can go look by myself."

"No," I said. "I'll be fine. Just… don't scare me like that."

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"It's okay," I said, looking at the clock again. "I'll be ready in a few minutes and then we can go."

"Alright."

* * *

><p>About a half hour later, we were pulling up to my apartment. Alec's dad had let us use his convertible which was pretty sweet. I decided to keep the top up because my head was still pounding and the fact that my pulse sped up every time I looked at Alec didn't make it any better.<p>

Alec and I stepped out of the care and walked up the steps together. I reached over and took his hand for support. He squeezed it reassuringly and looked at me. "You ready?" he asked. I nodded and we headed inside.

I knew exactly where my dad kept all of his important papers- in the drawer next to the side of the bed where my mom used to sleep. I thought about sending Alec to go get it (I didn't really want to be in my parents' bedroom and see neither of them there) but I figured it would be faster if I looked for it. And the faster I found it the faster I could leave.

I went straight to my dad's room, pulling Alec with me, and immediately found the drawer with all the papers in it. I let go of Alec's hand and got down on my knees to sift through all of the different documents.

After a minute or two, Alec looked over at my shoulder and said, "There it is." I handed him the paper I had been holding and stood up.

I must've gotten up too fast or something because I saw black and white spots flash in my vision and my head started spinning.

Alec Held me steady and asked, "You okay?"

_No._

"Yeah," I lied shakily. "Just a headache."

Alec's dark eyebrows knitted together. "Still?" he asked. "Thos painkillers I gave you didn't help at all?"

"Not really," I said.

Alec folded up the paper and put it in his jeans pocket. "You can take some more when we get back to my house," he said.

I raised my eyebrow. "We're going back to your place?" I asked.

He blushed a little. "Yea," he said. "My mom talked to me this morning while you were asleep and thought it would be best for you to crash at our place until your dad got better."

"Oh," I said, taking this in. "That was nice of her."

Yeah," he said again. "And I thought, since we're already here, you can get some of your things together and we can put it in my room later…" He drifted off, looking a little... embarrassed.

"Actually," I said, breaking the slightly awkward silence. "That sounds pretty good." I noticed him smile a little.

I quickly gathered a few weeks worth of clothes, glitter, and hair gel along with the essentials- a straightener, toothbrush, toothpaste, and a picture of my mom.

Alec looked thoughtfully at the picture and gently took it from me. "I always liked your mom," he said softly. "You're a lot like her."

"How so?" I asked.

He sat down on my bed and I joined him. "Well," he started. "You're both sweet and always smiling. You've got a great sense of humor." He paused for a second. "And it's obvious that you inherited her good looks."

I smiled at that last part. "Thanks."

We were silent after that, lost in wistful thoughts of my mother.

I sighed and put my head on his shoulder. "I really miss her," I whispered.

"I know," he whispered back. "Me, too."

* * *

><p>After a few minutes, and quite a few tears, Alec and I were back at the hospital. We walked up to the receptionist's desk and guess who was there?<p>

Sharon, the bitch.

I saw her face go white as she noticed us. She cleared her throat and said, "Hello."

"Hi," Alec said coldly. "We have some insurance papers for Mr. Bane."

"Oh," she said. "Yes. Actually, you can just take those up to his room right now."

We didn't answer her, but just took the elevator up to my dad's room.

Jamie met us there and took the papers form Alec after giving us both bug Jamie-hugs.

"How is her?" I asked her.

"Well," she said, tampering with his IV. "He's not doing any better… but he's not doing any worse either." She looked at me with a pitying look on her face. I hated pity. "I have to run these papers down to Alan," she said, rolling her eyes. I guess Alan is a jerk… "I'll see you two later."

After she left, Alec turned to me and asked, "Do you want to stay for a little while longer?"

I looked over at my dad, lying pale and motionless in his white hospital bed and felt my stomach turn. "No," I said. "I don't feel very good…"

Alec walked up to me and placed the back of his hand on my forehead. "You do feel a little warm," he concluded. He took my hand and guided me to the door.

Halfway down the hall, I stopped and grabbed my head. It felt like someone was jamming hot knives into my temples. I closed my eyes as the black and white spots appeared in my vision again. I heard someone calling my name, but they seemed so far away and the sound made my head throb even harder. I vaguely noticed that they were saying my name again, this time closer to me, and I was falling. Falling into darkness.

**A/N- O.o Magnus fainted! And sorry for the shortness of this chapter.  
>Okay, LISTEN UP! I am <strong>**demanding**** 15 more reviews until I update again. I will hold chapter nine hostage until I get those fifteen reviews and my 100****th**** reviewer will get a virtual cookie and lots of hugs and love from me! I know ya'll can do it, it's not that hard.  
>So, review or NO CHAPTER NINE! Mwuahahahaha! :P<br>-Ella**


	9. Faint

**A/N- You are all so awesome! I love every single one of you and you all get love and hugs and virtual cookies, but Miss Regina Star gets EXTRA cookies for being my 100****th**** reviewer and she is Zetta awesome! So thank you all so much for reading and reviewing and here is chapter nine as promised! :D  
>Disclaimer - Me? Owning things? Pssh, no.<strong>

(Alec POV)

I watched in horror as Magnus collapsed onto the ground. I caught him in my arms and called his name. No answer. I thought for one awful second that he was dead, but he was still breathing evenly.

There was nothing I could do, so I called for help like there was no tomorrow. Luckily, Jamie and Alan were at the opposite end of the hallway arguing about something and they came jogging over to us.

Jamie knelt down next to me. "What happened?" she asked incredulously.

"I-I don't know," I stuttered. "He just fainted."

Jamie suggested we take Magnus to an empty room and give him a bed to lie on. Apparently, there was one in the room next to his dad.

With Alan's reluctant help, Jamie and I carried Magnus to the other room and carefully put him in the bed. Alan left, grumbling about hurting his back 'carrying the stupid kid' and Jamie turned to me.

"He just fainted?" she asked. "Randomly?"

I sat down on a chair next to the bad that was now occupied by Magnus. "Yeah," I said. Then I thought of something. "Wait, he's had a headache all day."

She nodded and asked, "Has he eaten anything today?"

"Uhm…" He had gotten up at noon so he missed breakfast and he didn't eat anything at his house. "No," I said. "He hasn't had much to drink either; just a sip or two of water with some painkillers."

She nodded again. "I'm guessing the mixture of stress and dehydration was too much for his body and it shut down." She paused for a minute, looking over at me, but I didn't say anything. "I'll give him an IV for the dehydration," she said. "But until he wakes up, I've got nothing else to tell you." She started to set up his IV and I looked away. Needles kind of freaked me out. "I'll be back in an hour."

"Okay," I muttered.

"And don't wake him up," she added.

After she left, I held Magnus's hand and just… sat there. I thought about calling my mom or Isabelle or someone to let them know what had happened, but I decided to wait until Magnus woke up.

About thirty minutes had passed before I started to doze off. Going to bed at 2:00 AM and waking up at seven hadn't been a very good idea. I didn't want to leave Magnus, (what if he woke up while I was gone?) but I got up anyway and went o the little café on the bottom floor.

It was warm and cozy in the café. There were little two and three person tables scattered about and the menu consisted of scones, crepes, bagels, and a bunch of other breakfast-y foods.

"Hello," said the cashier. He seemed to be about 16 and had a deep tan paired with obviously dyed blond hair. "What can I get you?"

"Just a black coffee, please," I said.

"Coming right up," he replied. And he was right- it only took about 60 seconds to get my coffee. He handed it to me and asked if I wanted anything else.

I was about to say no, but I stopped myself and thought for a minute. "Yeah," I said. "One decaf soy latte with extra whipped cream." That was Magnus's favorite.

The cashier raised his eyebrows a little but got me the latte which took a bit longer to make.

The total came out to be about eight dollars, but I handed him the ten dollar bill I had in my pocket. "Keep the change," I told him.

"Oh," he said, caught off guard. "Thanks."

I smiled, grabbed the drinks, and headed back upstairs.

Magnus was still asleep when I walked in, so I sat down with our coffees and remained silent. I didn't think my stomach could handle much, so I just sipped at my coffee and inhaled the sweet scent of the latte.

When half of my coffee was gone, I saw Magnus stir beside me and I set down my coffee. He opened his eyes and looked around, obviously confused.

"What happened?" he asked groggily.

"You fainted."

He was silent, then, "Oh, Jace is gonna have fun with that."

Pretty much on cue, Jamie walked in. She always walked in at the most appropriate moments. I wondered if she was always waiting outside the door, listening for a right place to walk inside….

"Glad to see you awake, Magnus," she said smiling. He looked at her questioningly, silently asking for some answers. "It's nothing bad," she explained. "You were simply stressed out and thirsty."

He exhaled. "Good."

She looked at the clock. "We have to keep you here for another half hour for safety reasons," she said. "We have to make sure you're 'stable.' But, when you do get home, I recommend you sit down, drink some water, eat something relatively healthy, and take a nap will you? No moving around a lot, get a good night's sleep, you know the rest." She walked out without saying another word.

Magnus and I were both quiet for a minute or two. Then I turned to him and said, "That was really scary."

He looked at me funny. "Jamie's not _that_ scary," he said.

I shook my head. "No, not her," I said. "The whole fainting thing."

"Oh," he said slowly. "Yeah that was weird."

"You're acting very calm about this whole thing," I said.

"Yup," he said.

I was so confused at that moment. People, well _most_ people, don't faint and then shrug it off like nothing out of the ordinary happened.

"Care to explain?" I asked.

He shrugged with a bored expression on his face. "Compared to what happened to my dad," he started. "Fainting isn't that big of a deal. I've fainted before."

"I didn't know that," I said quietly.

"Not many people do," he said. "I tend to get dehydrated a lot." His gaze shifted to the bedside table and I saw his eyes light up. "Is that a decaf soy latte with whipped cream?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah," I said. "Actually, it's extra whipped cream. I know how much you like it and I thought you would want something to drink when you got up… but it's probably cold by now."

Magnus picked it up and took the top off. "No," he said. "It's still pretty warm." He looked at it for a second before dipping his index finger in the whipped cream and licking it off. I tried not to stare at him licking whipped cream off his finger…. That would put some pretty _interesting_ thoughts in my head.

"You know," I said. "I can get you a spoon if you just want the whipped cream."

He laughed, which made me laugh. His laugh was adorable and sweet and slightly higher than his normal voice. It would make anyone smile.

"If you could just get me a big bowl of whipped cream, that'd be great," he said, smiling.

I took the latte away from him and set it on the table. "Jamie said to drink some water, not indulge yourself on whipped cream."

He pouted. "What Jamie doesn't know won't hurt her," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Once you eat an actual meal, I'll get you some whipped cream, ok?" I said.

He looked at me with puppy eyes. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"Good."

I suddenly remembered something. "Oh, I have to go call my mom," I said. "Tell her what happened."

"Ah, ok," Magnus said. "I'll be here."

I grinned and began to walk to the door but stopped. I went back to the table and grabbed the soy latte. "I'm taking this with me," I told Magnus. "Wouldn't want you sneaking whipped cream while I have my back turned."

"Damn."

Once out in the hall, I quickly dialed my mom's cell number.

"Hi, Alec," she said kindly.

"Hi, Mom," I answered.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Mostly," I said. "Magnus uh… fainted."

"_What?"_

"But he's fine," I said quickly, detecting her concerned and confused tone. "He was just dehydrated is all." I decided not to tell her about the stress part. It didn't seem necessary to mention.

I heard her exhale quietly. "Oh, good." There was a pause. "How's his dad?"

"The same," I said disappointed.

"Oh."

"Well," I began. "We should be back in twenty or thirty minutes. Jamie said she has to keep him at the hospital until they're sure he's stable or something. He's awake and talking so I'd say he's fine."

"I'm glad to hear he's okay," she said. "It would be awful for something to happen to him while his dad was hurt."

"Yeah."

"Did you get some of his things?" she asked.

"Mhm," I answered. "He practically packed his entire closet."

She chuckled a little. "Typical Magnus," she said. "I'll see you two in a bit."

"Kay, bye," I said.

"Bye."

I hung up and walked back into Magnus's room. He was sitting there looking into a compact mirror, but it wasn't necessary. He looked fine and it amazed me that his eyeliner had stayed perfect throughout the entire day.

"What'd she say?" he asked.

"That she was glad you're okay," I said. "The usual mom stuff."

"I figured as much."

Jamie came and told us we could leave a few minutes later. We gathered our coffees and went back to the convertible.

As soon as we walked into my house, Isabelle came running at Magnus and gave him a huge hug exclaiming, "Oh my God! Magnus! I heard what happened to your dad and then you fainted and awwwww!"

Magnus just hugged her back and nodded. Magnus and Isabelle had always been close. When he was thirteen and Izzy was twelve, they had watched a six hour marathon of America's Next Top Model together and have been friends ever since. After all, one of Izzy's many dreams was to have a GBF (gay best friend.) I don't know why, though. Maybe because her other girl friends didn't like fashion and makeup and all that junk but Magnus did.

"Izzy," I said. "Tone it down a bit, the doctor said to take it easy."

"Oh," she said, pulling away from him. "Sorry."

"It's fine," he said, grinning at her.

My mom walked in then and offered Magnus some fresh salad she had made. Magnus is a vegetarian and we hardly ever have straight up _salad_ in the house so I knew she had made it especially for him. Magnus gratefully accepted, saying that he hadn't eaten anything all dad.

After Magnus and my mom left, Isabelle grasped my arm and dragged me to her room. She locked the door and turned to me.

"You have a crush on Magnus," she said.

Completely flabbergasted, I stuttered, "Wh-what? That's ridiculous, Izzy."

She smacked my arm and it surprisingly hurt. "Oh puh-lease, Alec," she said. "Sop denying it."

It seemed like she was completely ok with it so I gave in. "Alright, fine," I said. "At least tell me how you found out."

She scoffed like the teenage girl she was. "Your room is right next to mine and these walls are pretty thin," she said. I still didn't get it, and I guess that was obvious because she said, "I heard you two talking last night."

"_Oh_."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she exclaimed.

"I don't know," I said. "I was confused."

She rolled her eyes and was quiet for a minute. "So, have you kissed him yet?" she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

I blushed and cleared my throat. "Maybe…"

"That's a yes," she said. I tried to retort something smart-alecky back at her but she cut me off. "Don't even try to argue. I know you too well for you to lie to me."

I sighed.

"Now," she started. "I know you want to get back to your lover boy, so I'll let you go."

I didn't answer but just walked out the door and to the kitchen.

_Well, _I thought. _That's one person who knows. _

_Now I just need to figure out a way to tell everyone else…_

**A/N- And there it is! It was longer this time so I hope you're happy. I'm not going to keep chapter ten hostage because most chapters don't like being held hostage, but I do still want lots of reviews! Reviews make me happy. And when I'm happy, my writing is better. You do want a good story right? So review! And again, you all get lots of love and hugs and cookies. *Hands you all cookies* *hugs all of you* You're welcome :D  
>-Ella<strong>


	10. Kiss

**A/B- You all are slacking a bit in reviews… but I still love you. Here's chapter ten, I hope it's long enough. It's my Easter present to you. And I'm sorry this took so long to get up. I was really busy this week what with spring cleaning and all that shiz.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing.<strong>

(Alec POV)

Magnus and I spent the rest of the day together. Watching TV and generally doing nothing constructive.

When dinner rolled around, Magnus was taking a well-deserved nap, so the rest of us picked at the salad that my mom made us eat. I ate my salad quickly and asked to be excused. My dad nodded and I got up to put my plate in the sink. On my way out, I noticed Isabelle moth 'lover boy' and wink at me. I just shook my head.

Once I was in the kitchen, I put my dishes away and decided to make Magnus a little helping of salad and bring it to him. I added extra tomatoes because I knew how he liked it.

Opening my bedroom door while trying to balance a plate of salad and two water bottles was quite a challenge but I managed to get inside after a few tries.

Magnus was sitting up on my bed with is headphones in his ears. It took me a moment to realize that he was writing in a purple and black plaid notebook as well.

His head snapped up when I closed the door and I felt like I was barging in on something private. He closed the notebook and set it on the floor next to him.

"Sleep well?" I asked, setting down the bottled water and sitting down next to him.

He moved over to make a bit more room for me and said, "Hell yeah."

I smiled and handed him the salad. "Here," I said.

He took it from me and smiled back. "You got this for me?" he asked. When I nodded, he smiled bigger. "Wow," he exclaimed. "_And_ bottled water? What a delicacy!" he said sarcastically.

"Hey," I said, poking his arm. "I could've gotten you that weird organic fruit juice my mom buys. And it tastes like pee."

He wrinkled his nose then looked at me mischievously. "How would you know what pee tastes like?" he asked. "Is there something you haven't told me, Alec?"

"Oh, shut up and eat your salad," I said playfully, but still blushing. "You should be thankful that I brought you anything at all."

"Yes, thank you so very much for the time and effort it took you to make me this marvelous salad," he said. "With extra tomatoes?"

I smiled a little when Magnus said 'tomatoes.' He pronounced it with a short 'ah' sound it I always thought it was ridiculously adorable.

"Yes, Magnus," I said. "I added extra 'to-mah-toes.'"

He elbowed me but not hard enough to make it hurt. "Don't make fun of my words," he muttered. He looked back down at the salad. "Y'know," he said thoughtfully, tilting his head to the side. "I love putting tomatoes in my salad because everyone thinks that salads are only filled with vegetables but-"

"Tomatoes are actually fruits," I finished for him. "I know."

I heard a small squeal and a girly 'Aww' come from outside my door.

"Isabelle," I called. "Seriously?"

The door opened and Isabelle walked in. "I couldn't help myself," she said sheepishly. "But," she said before I could tell her to get out. "I _am_ here for a reason." She looked over to Magnus. "Are you coming to school tomorrow?" she asked him.

"Yeah," he said, stretching out the word. "Why?"

"I wasn't sure, what with the whole fainting thing, and I wanted to tell you about the carpool deal," she explained. When we looked at her expectantly, she continued. "Clary is picking up me and Jace so you two can use Jace's car."

"Oh," I said. "And I'm guessing Max is taking the bus as usual?"

"Yup."

"Uh, okay," I said. "Bye."

"Bye, you two," she said slyly. "Have _fun_." She grinned and left, closing the door behind her.

"She knows," Magnus and I told each other simultaneously. Then we both laughed.

"Did she corner you, too?" he asked me.

"Yeah,"" I said. "She dragged me into my room." I blushed, thinking about the slightly awkward conversation between Izzy and I.

Magnus fiddled with a piece of lettuce. "Are you going to tell the rest of your family?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," I answered just as quietly. "I think so."

"So you've come to terms with it then?"

"Mhm." I desperately wanted to change the topic so I said," Eat your salad before it gets…" I was going to say cold but then I thought, _It wasn't warm to begin with._ "Soggy," I said instead. "There are a lot of tomatoes on there."

"Actually," he said, handing me the plate. "I'm not hungry."

I gave it back to him. "You should really eat something," I told him.

"I'm not hungry," he repeated.

"Magnus," I said firmly. "I'm going to keep bugging you until you eat at least half of that. You've barely eaten anything all day and I'm not letting you sleep until you have something in your stomach."

He sighed but reached for the plate. "Fine," he muttered.

"Good."

I flipped on the mini flat screen that was mounted to the wall and watched a random show on MTV about a girl with a dollar sign in her name who I really didn't know or care about.

Magnus actually ate all of his salad. He handed me the empty plate. "Are you satisfied n ow?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, setting the plate on my bedside table. "Yes, I am." I looked at the clock and it was only about nine so I snuggled into Magnus's arms and gave him the remote. "Watch whatever you like," I told him.

"Oh, I understand," he said, flipping through the channels. "If I eat all of my dinner then I get remote privileges." He picked some random cooking competition on Food Network. "Sounds like a good deal to me."

I don't know how long we stayed like that, settled in each other's arms, but it was nice and I wanted to stay like that forever.

At 11:15, my cell phone buzzed, notifying me that I had a text message. It was from Isabelle:  
><em>Mom alert!<em>

"Damnit," I whispered. I disentangled myself from Magnus and scooted farther away from him. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow but I didn't have time to answer him because my mom walked in at that exact moment.

"Boys," she said. "Lights out in ten, okay? It's a school night." She walked over to the table and picked up the empty salad plate. "I'll just take this for you." She kissed me on the forehead which made me blush a little. I was eighteen, not four. "Goodnight Alexander."

"'Night," I muttered.

She stood up straight and smiled over at Magnus. "Goodnight Magnus."

He smiled back at her. "Goodnight Mrs. Lightwood."

"Please," she said, walking to the door. "Call me Maryse." Then she was gone.

I got out my cell phone. There was another text from Isabelle:  
><em>Youre welcome ;)<em>

I texted her back:  
><em>Howd you know?<em>

This is the answer I got:  
><em>Im a ninja<em>

I decided not to answer her and just shook my head. It was then that I realized Magnus was cracking up.

"What?" I asked.

"Your mom still kisses you goodnight," he said through laughter. "And your sister's a ninja!"

I blushed again but didn't say anything.

Magnus eventually calmed down and put his arm back around me. We turned out attention back to the cooking competition which, coincidentally, ended ten minutes later.

While Magnus went and brushed his teeth and take off his eyeliner, I turned off the lights and TV but made no move to leave the bed. When Magnus came back, I set and unset my alarm clock to make it look like I had a reason to be there.

Magnus got under the covers, laying next me, and I turned to face him.

"I don't want to move," I whispered.

"I don't want you to move," he whispered back.

"I don't have to," I suggested.

He put his hand on my side and moved closer to me. Our legs tangled together and I relaxed instantly. He smelled like vanilla.

"You know," he said, pressing his forehead to mine. "I've had a crush on you for a long time."

That was the one thing I didn't know about Magnus Bane.

"How long?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't know," he said nonchalantly. "Like eight years."

That was _really _unexpected but I didn't tell him that. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked instead.

"You claimed you were straight so I thought I had no chance," he explained. "I still can't believe that I've kissed you before," he said. "And I can kiss you again." He kissed me sweetly. "And again." Kiss. "And again." Kiss.

I tried to pull him closer to me, but we were already as close as physically possible without becoming one person. Our lips were pressed together, as were our chests, stomachs, and everything below.

It was amazing.

Our kissing got hotter and more eager. Eager enough that both of our shirts were gone in a matter of seconds.

I had never gone that far before. Not with anyone. I wanted to keep going even further, but I also kind of wanted to stop. I liked Magnus, A LOT, but I was scared. Scared of rejection, of hurt… of love.

Could you fall in love with someone in a matter of days?

I think the answer is yes, because I'm definitely falling head over heels for Magnus.

"What's wrong?" Magnus asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You tensed up."

"Nothing's wrong," I said. I put my index finger on his hip and started tracing invisible random swirls and patterns. "Just thinking."

"About what?" he asked

I shrugged, still moving my finger along the smooth skin on his hip. "It's not important," I said. Wherever my finger went, little Goosebumps were left behind.

"Everything you say is important to me, Alec," Magnus said, making me smile. "And besides," he added. "You already got me to take my shirt off, the least you can do is talk to me."

I laughed a little and stopped staring at his hip so I could look into his gold-green eyes. "I was thinking about you and how happy I am that you're here," I said, only slightly lying. "But then I started thinking about _why_ you're here and that kind of killed it."

"Oh," he said, nodding. "I was thinking the same thing while you were eating. It's not the best reason to be here…" He kissed me, this time soft and sweet. "But I'm glad I'm here with you instead of all alone at my house."

"Speaking of your house," I began. "How are you feeding Chairman Meow?"

"He's staying at Jamie's house until further notice," he said.

"Oh… I hate saying this, but we should go to sleep," I said.

Magnus sighed. "I know," he said sadly. "But can you stay here tonight?"

I wasn't moving anytime soon. "Of course."

He kissed me one more time and I smiled against his lips. I rolled over and Magnus put his arms around me, holding me close. Then I locked our fingers together and we both fell into a peaceful sleep.

I awoke to my alarm clock beeping at me and I realized that Magnus still had his arms around me. I reached over to shut up my alarm clock and turned to face Magnus. I put my hand on his face and stroked his hair until he opened his eyes.

"Morning," I said quietly.

He smiled a little and yawned. "What time is it?" he asked groggily.

"5:30."

"You Lightwood's get up too damn early," he muttered.

"How about I go take a shower and you can sleep while I'm gone," I suggested.

"Alright," he said. "But be slow."

I laughed and gather my clothes for the day- just jeans and a black t-shirt the usual.

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. The bathroom had changed drastically since Magnus had moved in. He had all of his hair products on nice smelling body soaps on the side of the shower and the sink.

I turned on the water and stripped off my clothes. When I stepped inside the shower, the water was already warm and I noticed something odd on the shower floor. It was what looked like a bottle of body wash but it was in a different language. French, I think. It must've been Magnus's. I didn't think he would mind, so I picked it up and squeezed some into my hand. It was a bright orange-y pink, like a sunrise in a bottle, and it smelled like grapefruits. I shrugged and decided to use it.

When I stepped out of the shower, I felt clean and fresh and grapefruit-y. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to go brush my teeth. I nearly used Magnus's toothbrush. His was one of those toothbrushes that played music when you brushed your teeth. His played Adam Lambert. Big shocker there…

I finished brushing my teeth (with _my_ toothbrush) and pulled on my boxers. When I tried to put on my jeans though, they were a lot tighter than usual. They still fit me, but in a weird way. Either I had gained ten pounds overnight, or my jeans shrunk.

I walked out of the bathroom in just my too-tight jeans, and flicked on the light, earning a groan from Magnus.

"Get up," I said, throwing a pillow at him.

He sat up and glared at me, then started to chuckle.

"What?" I asked.

"Why are you wearing my skinny jeans?" he asked.

I looked down at the jeans again. "Oooh," I said. "That's why they're so tight." I made to take them off but Magnus jumped out of bed and stopped me.

"No, keep them on," he said. "You look hot."

"Oh," I said blushing. "Thanks."

"You can keep those," he said. "They're too small for me." He kissed me and then grinned again. "Are you wearing my _pamplemousse_?" he asked.

"Your _what_?"

"My French body soap that smells like grapefruits?" he said.

"Yeah…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Jeez, Alec," he said. "Fruity body soap _and_ skinny jeans? I think I'm rubbing off on you." He walked into the bathroom, leaving me to think about just _how_ he was rubbing off on me.

I pulled on my black t-shirt and made up my bed, remembering the night before.

I decided to go downstairs and eat breakfast while I waited for Magnus o finish in the bathroom. I figured it'd be a while.

I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sort of just swirled it around with my spoon. I wasn't really hungry.

No one else was up yet so I fed Church, our cat. He mewed happily and a scratched behind his ears before going back to my uneaten cereal.

I heard Magnus come down the stairs and my heart nearly stopped when I saw him. His hair was down and dark, falling over one of his eyes which were lined with black. He was wearing dark skinny jeans and a tight muscle shirt with a black and blue plaid button-down over top of it. How he did that in ten minutes was beyond me.

When he saw my face, his own brightened and he said, "I guess I look good today." He pecked my cheek and grabbed an apple from the basket on the counter.

It was only six so we lazed around for a good half hour and I finished my English essay. With Magnus's help of course. Actually, he kind of wrote it for me.

At 6:45 we all have to leave for school, and at 6:40 Magnus and I watched as Isabelle and Jace ran around the house like chickens with their heads cut off. Apparently they had both overslept and were running late, but they said that every day.

I turned to Magnus and asked, "Now do you see why I get up so early?" He just nodded and watched in amusement as Jace tripped over Church.

I hadn't even gotten to school yet and I knew that it was going to be a pretty good day.

Man, was I wrong.

**A/N- Oh cliffhanger. And I think it's safe to say that this was the longest chapter yet. You're very welcome. And I expect lots of reviews because I tried very hard to get this up. I literally through my sister off the computer to get this posted. She hit me, but it's all good. I hit her back ;) *sibling looove* Anyways, review review REVIEW OR I WILL CRY AND THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SUCKY! Just sayin…  
>Peace!<br>-Ella  
>P.S. – R-E-V-I- E-W-!-!<strong>


	11. Cry

**A/N- This may not be as good as it was in my head, but I tried. Thanks for all the reviews. When I got to 123 I giggled a little. Tehe  
>Disclaimer- nothing is owned by me, except the plot. (and Jamie)<strong>

(Magnus POV)

Eventually, Jace and Isabelle got their acts together long enough to make fun of Alec's jeans. I didn't see what was so funny, though. I thought he looked cute, and his butt looked _fantastic_.

"Nice jeans, Alec," Jace said snidely. "I didn't know you robbed Magnus's closet."

Alec just blushed, so I butt in, "Just because you don't know how to walk without falling on your ass doesn't mean you have to take it out on those of us who _can_ walk." It's not one of my best comebacks, but I tried.

Jace didn't have time to retort because Clary started honking her horn outside.

"Catch ya later," Jace said to us. "I gotsta go see my laday."

Jace walked out with Isabelle behind him who was muttering about how she would throw up on him if he started making out with Clary.

Alec suggested that we head out as well so we gathered out large amount of books and papers and went over to Jace's old Chevy. We would have use Alec's car, but it was in the shop for a broken something-or-other. I didn't speak car.

The drive to school was way too short in my opinion. Alec's hand didn't leave mine the entire car ride but when we got there, he looked torn between keeping my hand and letting it go. He let it go and I frowned slightly. He said he was going to tell everyone eventually, but not holding hands with him in public was harder than it sounded.

In the privacy of the car, he kissed me one more time and got his backpack. I did the same and we both made our way to the front of the building. We were relatively early and not many people were there yet. Isabelle, however, was. Jace and Clary on the other hand, were nowhere in sight.

"Hey you guys," she said cheerfully. "So, how was your night? I didn't have time to ask you this morning."

We looked at each other and I could tell Alec was remembering the night before.

"It was fine," I said vaguely.

She scoffed. "You're telling me that you two spent the night in the same room and _nothing _happened?" she asked. "That's generally impossible."

"I'll tell you later," Alec said. "When there aren't so many people around." There were three people next to us. Alec was so far in the closet it was ridiculous.

Isabelle raised her eyebrow and turned to me. "Can I borrow your eyeliner? Mine's dead."

"Yeah, sure." I dug around in the side pocket of my backpack and found it in a few seconds. I handed it to her. "Here."

She smiled and gratefully took it then seemed to notice one of her friends and said a quick goodbye to us before running over to her and squealing about something. I shook my head and was silently glad that I was gay.

Alec and I proceeded up the stairs and into the hallway. We split up to find our lockers and I slowly put my books in mine. Not thinking about my dad or Alec all day and having to concentrate on schoolwork would be hard to do for seven hours. My mind was already drifting off to think about how my dad was doing and if Jamie was taking good care of him while I couldn't be there. Then I felt the sudden urge to cry so I slammed my locker shut and blinked away the tears.

Alec showed up behind me and nearly made me jump out of my skin.

"Walk me to homeroom?" he asked sweetly.

I couldn't deny him with his big blue eyes so I nodded and we walked down the hallway together. No one gave us a second glance because we always walked down the hallway together. We're best friends after all.

We got there in a few minutes, but only because we walked slower than usual. We were practically strolling down the hallway, trying to savor the moment we had together.

Our homerooms were right across the hall from each other so we walked to Alec's first. I sighed. I wouldn't see him again until fourth period, which meant I had three hours to think about him.

"See you later," he said. He touched my arm and let it linger there for a second, looking around the hall. We were alone. Alec got on his tip-toes and kissed my cheek. It was brief, but it was enough to help me get through the day. He smiled and walked into his classroom.

In a slight daze, I walked to mine as well and sat down at my desk, feeling much better.

* * *

><p>(Alec POV)<p>

I sighed and put my chin in my hand, looking at the clock again. It felt like it wasn't even moving and second period was taking forever to go by. Second period was math, and I suck at math. I barely scraped up a B- in that class, but only because I kissed up to the teacher and did a ton of extra credit.

I zoned out, staring at Mr. Morrison but not at all listening to what he was saying. I tried to make it look like I was working on something very important in my notebook by writing random things in it. I found myself writing Magnus's name over and over again with little doodles surrounding it. I blushed, but no one seemed to notice it.

"Alexander," I heard Mr. Morrison say.

"Yes?" I said quietly.

"You seem to be writing very intently in your notebook," he said. "Care to tell us the answer?"

I looked down at my notebook and silently cursed myself for not solving the problem before doodling. I did have the problem written down, and it was pretty simple, so I quickly solved it in my head. "X equals three point five," I said.

"Very good." He wrote it on the board. "I guess you were paying attention after all."

I blushed again and nodded, getting to work on the next problem.

I checked out the clock again. Only three minutes had gone by. Ugh.

The rest of the day was pretty much just like that. I would sit in class and try to concentrate on my work but ended up thinking about Magnus and wondering if he was having the same problem. Most of the time, I would finish whatever it was the teachers made us do early, and just sit there and daydream for a good five minutes. That probably wasn't a very good idea, put I couldn't help myself. If Magnus wasn't there, the least I could do was think about him.

Finally, fourth period (English) rolled around and I smiled as Magnus walked in. He sat next to me, like always, and we had some time to talk before class started.

"I have not been able to concentrate all day long," he said exasperatedly.

"Me neither," I said.

He snapped his fingers. "I almost forgot," he said, rifling through his backpack. "You left your essay on the table this morning." He handed me my sloppily written English essay.

"Thanks," I said. "I would've been in _so_ much trouble if I didn't have this."

"Yeah," he said, grinning. "Ms. Madison already has it out for you."

"So I'm not the only one who noticed that?" I asked.

He shook his head, the florescent lights reflecting off his hair. "She hates you."

"I know that," I said. "I don't know _why_."

He shrugged. "Maybe she's racist."

"Magnus, she's white, too."

"No, she's British," he said matter-of-factly.

I thought for a moment. "Don't you think it's weird that we have a British English teacher?" I asked him.

"Yeah, that is weird," he said. "Oh, shhh, she's coming."

The class fell silent as Ms. Madison walked in. She was tall, blond, and mean. All the girls were intimidated by her and all the boys were turned on by her. She was young and practically hated everyone… except Magnus. She _adored_ Magnus. I don't know why, but she always complimented his writing skills and how he dressed and how smart he was. She hated me but loved my best friend. It made no sense.

"Good morning class," she said coldly. Her eyebrow arched up as she looked at the corner of the room. "Jace, Clary," she snapped. "Stop snogging before I send you up to the principal's office. That's the only warning I'll give you. If I see it again, you're both out of here."

Most of the class snickered and I saw Simon wriggle his eyebrows at Jace, making a kissy face at him. I shook my head and turned my attention back to Ms. Madison, who was saying something about how poetry is the art of literature or something. I hated poetry.

She gave us a worksheet on the elements of poetry. It was fifty questions long. _Fifty_. The lady was crazy, but she said we could work in pairs so I was happy. Magnus and I immediately chose each other and got to work.

The worksheet was hard, but Magnus knew everything about poetry so he helped me out. After a few minutes, the intercom binged and one of the office ladies called Magnus up to the office for dismissal. She said he had a doctor's appointment. I looked at him, thoroughly confused, as he got his books together.

Ms. Madison took his worksheet and said he could finish it tomorrow. I frowned and went back to my own paper, trying to rack my brain for any knowledge I had of poetry.

Not even a minute after Magnus left, the intercom binged again, asking for me this time. She said I had a doctor's appointment as well, which I knew wasn't the case. Something was going on.

"Alexander," Ms. Madison said sharply. "I expect that paper finished tonight for homework."

"Yes, ma'am," I said.

"And I don't appreciate you scheduling doctor's appointments in the middle of my class," she added.

"I-"

"Get out of my sight."

I didn't say anything and just got my books before fast-walking to the door. I quickly got some things out of my locker and walked into the office. Jamie was there, as was Magnus, and both of them looked worried.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Jamie turned to me. "Magnus's dad isn't doing well and I wanted Magnus to be with him before…" She didn't finish but we all knew what she was going to say- before he died. "I want you to come with him," she added.

I nodded and we went out to her car. The ride to the hospital was short and sad. I held Magnus's hand the entire way and he just squeezed it tightly. I was worried out of my mind for him and his dad, and I'm sure he was, too. Only it was ten times worse for him.

Once we were at hospital, Jamie, Magnus, and I went straight to Magnus's dad's room. He was looking worse than the day before and Magnus didn't look any better.

"Magnus," Jamie said carefully. "You should probably say your goodbyes. He's gotten worse."

Magnus nodded numbly and watched her go. He sat down in one of the chairs and sighed. "I knew this was coming," he said to no one in particular. "And yet, I still can't believe it."

I sat next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me with watery eyes and I knew he was dreading what he was about to do. I held his hand as he leaned forward to look at his dad.

"Dad?" he said shakily. "I don't know if you can hear me… but I wanted to let you know that I love you, even though I didn't tell you that much." He paused. "I don't know what I'm gonna do without you, but I'm really going to miss you. You always listened to me and tried to be in the loop with my life. Even after mom died, you stayed strong for me. You can be with her now." Tears started falling from his eyes. "You can be in a place where you don't have to work late, or worry about bills. You won't' be in any pain. You can do whatever you want. Tell mom I said hi… and that I miss her. I wish I had more time with you; you're an amazing dad…and an even better friend." Magnus was choked up by then, and couldn't finish, but I think he said plenty. If his dad heard him, he would leave peacefully, I'm sure.

* * *

><p>(Magnus POV)<p>

As the machines flat lined, announcing my dad's death, I didn't say or do anything. I just cried, melting into Alec's embrace. I felt… numb. Like I had just lost part of myself. And, in a way, I had. I had lost my father, the last living relative I had left, and my heart felt like it was ripping in two. When my mom had passed, I felt the same way, but it was worse this time. It was worse because no one knew what it felt like. When my mom died, I had my dad there to feel the same pain I was feeling. Now I had no one. Alec was there, yes, but he didn't know how I felt. Not at all. He was only crying because I was crying, not because he knew how I felt. It wasn't the same pain for him.

Jamie came in to cut off the machines. I stopped her from pulling the blanket over my dad's face though. It didn't seem right to do that. That would make it official, and I still couldn't believe he was gone.

Jamie came over but didn't say anything. She crouched next to me and cried along with Alec and me. It didn't feel real to me. I thought I was in a bad dream; one of those dreams where you can't speak, can't move, can't breathe. My lungs felt like they were full of water and I struggled to take a breath.

But the truth is, I'd rather have him be gone than have him go through pain. He deserved to be with my mom.

I couldn't even register what was happening or who was around me and what they were doing. All I knew was that someone was hugging me and wouldn't let me go.

And I had just lost my dad.

* * *

><p><strong>AD- You all probably hate me. And I kind of hate myself for this. It wasn't that great of a chapter and I just killed Magnus's dad! I hate killing off characters but it had to be done. I cried a little while writing this and it didn't help that I was listening to a bunch of sad songs. My IPod betrayed me when I put it on shuffle. I want lots of reviews for this because I really tried to put emotion in it. Did I succeed? Tell me in a review, even if that review is you screaming at me for being a bitch and killing his dad. Please please review. I must know what you think.  
>R.I.P Mr. Bane.<br>-Ella**


	12. Author's Note

Hey everyone. This isn't an update, sorry, don't hate me. But I just wanted you all to know that I'm sorry for taking so long with updating. I'm not done with the story, hell no I'm not done, but it might be a week or two…. My best friend is in the hospital and is probably dying so that's definitely slowing me down. I am also swamped with homework and projects and _tests._ The next chapter is currently being written but I hardly have time to breathe let alone type it up. Again, I am in no way done with this story, I just wanted everyone to know and not be like "Myeh! She's taking too long to update! Let's yell at her through PMs Myeh Myeh Myeh!" 'Cause that's happened before.

I will try my damnedest to get chapter 12 up by my birthday. Which, coincidentally, is on May 12th. But anyway, until then, I bid you ado.

Before I go, I also want to say that I love every single last one of you for reviewing and reading! You make me so happy! :D Keep a look out for chapter twelve cause its coming!

Love and kisses and thanks,  
>Ella<p> 


	13. Home

**A/N- Soooo sorry this took so long D: I really am, but I have good news and then a chapter for you- first, my friend is much better and back in school, second, I have a new boyfriend :) and third, today is my birthday! So yeahh, sorry for the long wait, I was so freakin busy. Here's the promised chapter! Enjoy!  
>Disclaimer- Even though it is my birthday, I unfortunately still do not own the Mortal Instruments series. :(<strong>

(Magnus POV)

I couldn't even process what was happening when Jamie drove Alec and I back to his house, which I figured was going to be my home for the time being. It was all a big, blank blur though.

Jamie stayed with us when we got there. Everything sounded hollow to me, like I was far away from the rest of the world, but I recognized Alec's voice explaining to his parents what had happened. I sat next to Jamie, practically catatonic and trying to stop the steady waterfall of tears running down my face. My mouth was oddly dry ad my head was hurting again. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and wake up to the smell of my dad making omelets. They always fell apart, but they were my favorite thing to eat for breakfast.

I realized suddenly that I was an orphan. I had no more relatives; all of them were either dead or unheard of. I was the last living Bane.

(Alec POV)

Saying the Magnus spiraled into a deep depression after his father died would've been an understatement.

It had been about five days and Magnus hadn't gone to school or done any of the homework I brought for him. He hadn't eaten much either… or slept, or spoken, or done much of anything really. He just sat on the couch or my bed all day and stared off into space with the TV on mute.

I tried to cheer him up a little by asking him if he wanted to help me cook dinner one night. I figured he would say no and had probably lost all feeling in his legs, but he nodded and got up off the couch.

"I was thinking of making breaded pork chops," I told him, walking to the kitchen. "Friday is always pork chop day." He just nodded again, looking toward the direction of the living room.

I went to the fridge and pulled out some ingredients- bread crumbs, eggs, flour, and raw pork chops. I saw Magnus wrinkle his nose at the meat. _Vegetarians_, I thought. I also grabbed three small bowls, a pan, and some oil.

"Okay," I said. "It's actually pretty simple." I quickly explained to him that all we had to do was slice the pork, flour it, egg it, evenly coat it with bread crumbs, and then fry it for about 3 minutes on each side. Easy, right?

"Want to crack the eggs?" I asked him. Surprisingly, he shook his head. "Would you rather cut the meat then?" He nodded, so I demonstrated how to cut the pork and handed him the knife. He looked at it a bit too long for my liking, though.

I cracked to eggs in one of the small bowls after filling the other two with flour in breadcrumbs. I was looking around for a whisk when I heard Magnus mumble something. "What?" I asked him.

"I said 'I didn't know you could cook.'" His voice sounded raspy and tired, but beautiful all the same. It was nice to finally hear his voice again.

"Oh, well I really can't," I said. "This is the only thing I know how to make besides cereal." He smiled, but not really; it was more like a slight upturn of the corners of his mouth.

We fell into silence again, and all that could be heard was the sound of my whisking. I slowed down as I thought of something. "So," I said, glancing sideways at him. "When do you think you'll be ready to come back to school?" He shrugged. "Magnus," I said firmly, setting down the whisk. "You can't miss any more school." He shrugged again. "We have final exams soon and I know how you fell right now-"

Magnus slammed the knife on the counter, cutting me off (no pun intended) and making me jump.

"No," he practically growled at me. "You don't know how I feel; not at all. _You_ didn't lose both of your parents. _You _aren't an orphan. _You_ aren't alone."

I was surprised the he snapped at me like that… but I also understood him. He was right- I had no idea how he felt. Both of his parents had died and now he had to hear me telling him to go to school before he was ready to. I should have known better. I should have kept my mouth shut… my big, fat mouth. I felt like an asshole.

"You're not alone," I said quietly. Magnus looked up then, his eyes beckoning me to continue. "You can talk to me about anything," I said. "I'm always here and so are Isabelle and really my entire family. I don't ever want you to think you're alone. That… That's absurd."

He only looked at me for a minute. "Okay," he said huskily. "Okay, that's nice to hear, I guess. I'll try to come back to school. But not on Monday. Any day but Monday."

I was about to ask why Monday would make any difference but I held my tongue and nodded, saying, "So… Tuesday then?"

"Maybe," he said. "But I'm not making any promises." He resumed his cutting."

"Okay," I said back to him. I picked up the whisk again, but the eggs were already as whisked as possible. "Everyone really misses you."

I saw his eyebrows go up. "Do they?" he asked slowly. "Or are the just saying that?"

"No one else but Simon knows," I told him. "Well, your teachers know, too. But that's standard protocol."

"Are you sure Jace hasn't told anyone?"

"He swore," I said. "And I kind of threatened to kill him if he told anyone… Even Clary."

Magnus half-smiled again. "Thanks."

I would've taken his hand, but his fingers were all covered in slimy pork juice so I just smiled at him. And I hoped against all hope that things would get back to normal and Magnus would start talking again.

I really needed him to be there for me for the next few days…

Because I was going to come out to my parents.

**A/N- Sorry for the long wait and then the sucky/short chapter :( don't hate me, I just ran out of time and inspiration. Please, please, please review like there's no tomorrow and I will write a nice loooong chapter mkay? Thanks!  
>Byez!<br>-Ella**


	14. Nightmare

**A/N- Thanks for all the birthday wishes and reviews! :D I love all of you.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot. Sorry.<strong>

(Magnus POV)

We all ate Alec's pork chops (besides me) a few minutes later. I heard from Maryse that they were delicious, though.

I decided to help Alec clean up the kitchen afterwards. Doing simple, somewhat mundane **(A/N- Haha, Shadowhunter pun)** tasks helped keep my mind off of other things. Having Alec right there next to me the whole time was a plus, too. He was one of the few people I really trusted and he didn't push me to do something I didn't want to do. And when he did, it wasn't intentional. He was just trying to help, really.

We both ended up back in his room, and I am happy to say that I started talking to him again. As lame as it sounds, the cooking really made me feel better. I don't know what it is about cooking, but it always reminded me of home and safety.

"Magnus?" Alec said, looking up from his English homework. "You're good with poetry right?"

"Yeah," I said, scooting closer to him on his bed. "Why?"

"Because," he began, tossing down his pencil in frustration. "This isn't making any sense to me. "

"Let me see."

It was one of the many worksheets Ms. Madison had given to him for extra credit. It was mostly stuff and eighth grader could've figured out, but poetry definitely was not Alec's forte… It was mine.

"It's a haiku," I told him. He looked at me with an 'I have no idea what you're talking about' face. "Look," I said. "The first line has five syllables, the second line has seven, and then the third line has five again. That's what a haiku is- five, seven, five."

"Oh," he said, raising his eyebrows. "I don't remember learning that."

"I do," I said simply. "Well, I remember my outfit that day."

"Is that how you remember things?" Alec asked. He stuffed all of his papers and pencils into his backpack and leaned against the headboard. "Coordinate everything with your clothing?"

"Yup." I put my head on his shoulder. "I would tell you to try it some time, but you wear practically the same thing every day." I knew he was blushing even though I couldn't see it. To me, the cutest thing about him was his blush. It was one of his beautiful flaws. Perfectly imperfect. "But don't worry," I added. "I'll still like you no matter what you wear."

"Well I'm reassured," Alec stated sarcastically.

We were both quiet for a minute and Alec seemed to be thinking of something.

"So," he said nonchalantly. He stretched out the vowel and I was suddenly afraid of what he was about to say. "Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Yeah." I looked up at him, removing my head from his shoulder. "Why does it matter?"

"Uh," he stuttered. A deep red blush started creeping its way across his cheeks. "I was wondering if maybe you… wanted to go out, or something."

I felt my eyebrow rise out of habit. "Go out?"

"Like…" He paused and then lowered his voice a bit. "Like an official date."

_Oh._

I really liked the sound of that. An official date with Alec Lightwood, the guy I had a crush on for years. Finally. I almost couldn't believe it. It was one of those things I thought was impossible. He was straight and popular and I… wasn't. I realized that Alec was waiting for me to answer.

Smiling like an idiot, I'm sure, I said, "I'd like that." His normal color flooded back to his face and he smiled back at me. "Where'd you want to go?"

"Oh," he said. "Well I didn't really think of that…"

I chuckled at his blush, which came back stronger than before. "That's ok," I reassured him. "We'll think of something."

"I don't really care where we go," Alec muttered. He snuggled back into me and I let myself melt into his warmth. "I'm just looking forward to spending the day with you."

"Me, too."

We fell asleep like that, curled into each other. I'm not going to lie; it was an amazing feeling to sleep with him in a totally non-sexual way. It was sweet and serene. I was not at all happy about the reason why I was there at that moment, but I thought it would be better not to dwell on the negatives and just enjoy Alec while I could.

_I was in a dark room. No, 'room' isn't the right word. It was more like a pitch black space. There were no walls, none that I could feel at least, but it felt like someone was there. Like there was a presence of _something_ in the dark space. _

_I suddenly heard my father's voice. I didn't know where he was or where I was either, but I moved my attention to where I thought his voice had come from. I tried to call out to him, but I couldn't speak. I opened my mouth in a vain attempt to say his name, but there was nothing._

"_Magnus?" his voice said again. _

_This time, in the direction of his voice, I saw him. My voice refused to work so I only looked at him. He looked healthy and… happy. Happier than I had seen him since my mother died._

"_Magnus," he said again, this time smiling. "I've missed you." He extended his arms to me, silently asking for a hug, and I wanted so badly to run into his arms, but I was stuck; frozen. I saw the smile slip off his face and he dropped his arms to his sides. "Haven't you missed me, too?" he asked with pain in his voice. I couldn't even nod. I stared at him, willing myself to move, hoping I could eventually lift my legs and run towards his warm embrace… but nothing happened and his expression got sadder and sadder. "Oh," he practically whispered. "I see."_

"_Sweetheart," I different voice said. I hadn't heard that voice in years, but I instantly recognized it. My mother stepped next to my father and took his hand. She hadn't aged at all since that sad day years ago. "I thought you loved us," she said._

I do,_ I so desperately wanted to say. _Of course I do.

_She frowned as well, making her look much older. They both seemed so disappointed and sad, because of me. I had done that._

_They began turning away from me, not even looking back. The sound of their steps faded away, and just before they were out of sight, I saw them dissipate, turning into nothing but sand. They were gone, just like that… and I was alone._

"_Magnus," someone said. I knew that voice, I had heard it before, but I couldn't place who it belonged to. "Magnus," it said urgently._

My eyes flew open as I felt someone gently shake me awake. It was Alec, his expression concerned and frightened. I sat up fully, breathing heavily.

My eyes widened as I realized that I wasn't in my bed at my house with my parents. It was a horrible, heart-plummeting feeling that took away my ability to breathe. I crumpled into Alec's arms, sad and confused. He held me close, probably not really knowing what had happened. I guess it was obvious that I had had a nightmare, as he told me that it was over now, that everything was okay.

I started sobbing again; trying to will away the vision of my parents turning to dust, but it kept coming back, threatening to take over my mind.

My throat was burning from the tears but I got out some words, "I just want him back."

Alec must've understood that much because he tightened his hold around me and I felt him nod. "I know," he whispered. "I know." He brought his finger up to my chin and made me look at him. "Magnus listen to me," he said. "You want your dad to be happy, right?" I nodded. "Then you can't believe that he's gone forever. He wouldn't want that, you said so yourself. He's happier now, he's with your mother, and he would feel awful if you were always upset about him being gone." He paused. "_I _would feel awful if you were always upset about him being gone…"

I raised my downcast eyes to his flawless ones. I rapidly blinked my eyes, trying to make the tears go away. Without really knowing what I was doing, I kissed his bright lips and clutched his arm. He kissed me back, still holding me to his body.

Eventually, though I'm not sure exactly how long it was, I pulled back and managed to get some air down my windpipe. "Thank you," I told him.

There wasn't anything more I needed to say, I could tell by Alec's expression that he understood what I meant- I was thanking him for being there, even when it wasn't necessary.

I wanted to sleep again, but I also didn't for the fear of having a nightmare again. So, I simply snuggled back into Alec and thanked him once more before a thought struck me- I had a date tomorrow…

What was I going to _wear?_

**A/N- Aw, poor Magnus. I feel bad for him, even though I'm the one who made all this happen. I'd liiiiike to get, oh, I don't know… 16 reviews until I update again. Sorry for the chapter kidnapping, but I need a lil bit of an ego boost, my ideas fall short when my reviews fall short. So tell me what you think and I'll try to make the next chapter longer. It's gonna be about their **_**daaaaate**_**! :D  
>-Ella<strong>


	15. Date

**A/N- I still love those of you who reviewed… and if you didn't review, then you're now ranked on my list of things I like right next to poop. You've been shunned by thee.  
>Disclaimer- I ain't ownin' nothin' dawg!<br>P.S. – Fluff warning**

(Magnus POV)

"Don't peek!" Alec told me for the fourth time.

"I'm _not_," I told him, but he tightened my blindfold anyways.

We had the entire day to ourselves, or so Alec told me. Jace was off doing who knows what with Clary, Isabelle had a date with some guy whom I didn't know, Maryse and Robert were working, and Max was over at one of his friend's houses. Neither one of us had heard from Simon though.

I had no idea where we were or what we were doing or why Alec was so worried that I would look at it. He had blindfolded me with one of my favorite scarves as soon as we got in his car and hadn't taken it off. He told me that the scarf was a hint as to where we were going which didn't make any sense to me because the scarf had stars on it. What were we going to do? Chill out up in space?

I felt his hands remove themselves from my shoulders. I made to take the blindfold off but Alec playfully smacked my hand. "No," he said. "Not yet."

Pouting like a small child (or Jace) I said, "Why not?"

"Because I said so," was his answer. "Now hush."

I sighed, but remained quiet. It was about noon, I could tell by the way my stomach was rumbling, and I hoped that whatever Alec had planned involved food.

A few minutes later I heard Alec step up to me. "Okay," he said, sounding hopeful and nervous. "You can take off your blindfold now."

I smiled and happily remove my scarf/blindfold. What I saw was not at all what I expected to see.

For one, we were outside in this beautiful field which confused me because there are no open spaces like this anywhere in town. I guessed that was why the car ride was so long. Second, and Alec really outdid himself here, the field was _decorated._ And by decorated, I mean like 'romantic getaway' decorated. There was a picnic blanket laid out on the grass and a picnic basket placed in the center of it. The field was covered in tulips as well, which added to the effect. The trees' leaves casted shadows on the blanket and tulips making everything look surreal and gorgeous. It took my breath away.

But Alec was better.

As I looked at him, he bit his lip, waiting for me response.

I smiled. "I love it."

Relief flooded into his face and he smiled back at me. "Good." He walked over to me and took my hand, guiding me to the blanket. "It's kind of cliché," he admitted, sitting down and dragging me with him. "But I thought it would be nice."

"It is," I said, looking around again. I couldn't get over how beautiful the entire place was. How clean and pure… and romantic. "But what does this have to do with my scarf?"

He only grinned and said, "You'll see."

"I guess so," I said. "Since you're not going to tell me." His grin got bigger when I said this and that concerned me a little.

Alec opened up the picnic basket. "Anyone within a ten-mile radius could hear your stomach growling," he told me, pulling out a plate of delicious looking salad. "I let Clary help me make the dressing. She's actually not a bad cook."

He handed me a plate and I took a bite of the sweet yet tangy smelling salad. It tasted better than it smelled, and it smelled really good. I sighed in delight when it hit my taste buds, causing them to almost sing in happiness.

"Like it?" Alec asked me.

I nodded, not wanting to open my mouth in case some of the delicious flavor slipped out.

We both scarfed down a plate of salad each and then lay down on the blanket together.

"That's the fullest I've been in a while," I said. "Thanks for that, but I still want to know what the stars have to do with all of this."

"Hmm," he said, rolling his eyes towards the sky. "You're just going to have to wait for a little longer."

"That's not fair," I whined.

Alec turned his eyes towards me. "Who said I was going to be fair?" He smiled and sat up, packing away the empty plates.

I stood up with him and looked into the picnic basket. Something caught my eye. "Is that a football?" I asked him.

"Gotta stay fit," he said, picking it up. "You up to play?"

I smiled. This was the kind of date I had always wanted. "Hell yeah."

Let's just say that one-on-one football with Alec is _very_ enjoyable.

We started out actually trying to beat each other, but then we started goofing around. I ended up chasing him when he took the ball from me. I caught him around his waist and nearly lifted him off the ground before he surrendered and gave me the ball back. (He giggled like a little girl when I picked him up. Did you know that he's super ticklish?) But I didn't really want the ball… I dropped it to the ground and leaned into him. He happily complied and our lips met, making my chest flutter and my heart do a double take. I had had a few boyfriends in the past, but Alec was by far the best one.

His fingers threaded through my hair and I made a noise in the back of my throat that I can't quite describe. It was like a cross between a sigh and a moan. He pulled back, although reluctantly, and looked at me.

"We have to go now," he said.

"Go?" I repeated. Alec took my hand and nodded. "Go where?

"To part two of our date."

I raised my eyebrows as he tugged me along. "There's a part two?"

He nodded and led the way to the car, not bothering to gather the picnic things or put them in the trunk. When I questioned this, he simply said that we would need it later for part three.

Part two involved the blindfold again, which I did not appreciate but understood. It was supposed to be a 'surprise.'

The drive was shorter this time, though it seemed just as long as the first drive because I still had no idea where we were going.

"Do I get a hint about part two?" I asked him.

"Hmm…" He paused for a minute and I thought he wasn't going to answer when he added, "You'll like it."

"I like a lot of things, Alec."

"Oh? Care to give a few examples?" he asked.

"For starters, glitter all the way," I began, earning a small chuckle from him. It was so weird hearing him laugh and not being able to see his smile. "Then it's bright colors, and you, and eyeliner, and you, and the best kitty in the world - Chairman Meow, and you, and shopping, and you, and salad, and you…" I paused for a minute. "Did I mention you?"

He chuckled again but he was more than likely blushing in a way that was probably unhealthy.

The rest of the ride was relatively quiet; besides the fact the Alec was blasting his screamy, metal, death music. Hey, I wasn't complaining though. He said the band was called My Chemical Romance and that it was 'alternative rock' not 'screamy metal death music.' Whatever genre it was, I liked it. Alec promised to make me a mix CD of all of their songs, because there was no way I was touching his MCR album, but he also said that we have to make it through the date first.

We parked not too long later, and before we even got out of the car, he told me to take my blindfold off. I did just that and I realized that we were at the mall. My favorite mall ever in the world.

Alec turned to me. "I knew you'd like this," he said when he saw my smile. "I thought you could dress me up for the day since-"

He didn't get to finish, because my lips were on his before he could talk any further. I opened my door and dragged him out of the car, excited to get the poor, fashion deprived boy into a Hot Topic.

I walked past all of the other places until I found the dark store. I pulled Alec inside and began practically throwing different articles of clothing at him- a shirt here, some jewelry there, and lots of skinny jeans. He just looked so _mm -mm_ in them. There's really no other way to describe how he looked; hot doesn't cut it. Alec simply caught all of the clothes and grinned when I pushed into the dressing room and ordered him to try on everything and show me _everything_.

The first outfit was damn sexy. So sexy in fact, that I almost swooned… almost.

Alec was standing there, looking in the mirror, dressed in dark skinny jeans, and a tight-fitting blue t-shirt that made his eyes look downright beautiful. I came around behind him, thankful that we had our own private little dressing room space, and put my hands on his waist.

"I _really_ like this one," I told him.

He tried to hide his smile, but failed miserably. "Me, too," he said.

"But," I began, taking my hands off his waist. "There's a lot more to try on!" I directed him toward the dressing room once more. "Go."

We went through about ten to fifteen more outfits and I bought over half of them for him. Actually, Alec and I went half and half on the price, even though I insisted that I pay all of it because he let me dress him up, then he said that I wasn't allowed to spend any money because it was 'my special day' so we had to compromise. I was happy either way.

By the time we were finished and had eaten lots of pizza at the food court, it was evening, almost seven pm, but the sun hadn't started to set yet. Thank you daylight savings time. I helped Alec put all of his many shopping bags into the trunk of his car and we got back in. He started driving, but not to his house, back to the field. He let me keep my blindfold off because he just wanted to pick up the picnic stuff and his football.

He lied.

* * *

><p>When we got back to the field, it had transformed. There were candles everywhere, enough to make me wonder about whether or not they would be a fire hazard, but my mind changed tracks to focus on the beauty of the entire situation. Not just the field, but how Alec let me dress him up, and spent all this time with <em>me<em> of all people. He somehow got this already amazing place to turn into a lunchtime picnic, and then into a romantic, candlelit wonder. But the question is how?

After I got over my shock, I turned to him and smiled more than I had smiled all week long. "Alec," I said. "How did you do all this?"

"Isabelle is an awesome sister," was all he said.

I reached forward and pulled him to me by the hem of his shirt. But I didn't kiss him; I hugged him, more like embraced. The fact that someone had gone through all of that trouble for a guy like me warmed my heart to the point of almost tears. I held him close to me and he put his head on my shoulder. We pulled back almost a full five minutes later and I looked into his deep, blue eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"Thank you," I told him. "Thank you so much."

"Wait," he said, smiling. "We haven't gotten to the best part."

"There's more?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah," he said. "There's more."

My hand was in his once again and we sat down on the blanket, leaning against a sweet smelling tree. I saw the sun beginning to set over the horizon and I sighed. It was so beautiful; one of the few things in my life that I saw as truly beautiful. I leaned against Alec and watched the orangey-red haze of clouds mixed with sunbeams slowly disappear behind the grass, moving to the other side of the world where thousands of different people would see the same sunset I was seeing. It didn't last long, but it didn't need to. The short amount of time it happened was enough to make anyone stop and stare at it until it was gone. Eventually though, the sun was gone and the stars started appearing in the new night sky. (I suddenly got what my scarf had to do with all of this.) Everything seemed so pure and clean and… natural. There was no pollution or car alarms or annoying neighbors. Everything was perfect. And I was happy.

"That was amazing," I whispered to Alec. Somehow my head had ended up in his lap and I looked up at his face then.

He smiled down at me, his eyes twinkling brighter than the stars above him. Alec's dark hair and ivory skin made him look angelic. "There's one more thing," he whispered. "But you can't talk or it won't happen."

I nodded, sort of confused, but kept my mouth shut and waited. And waited. And waited for ten minutes until I understood what he meant when I saw the first one. A firefly danced in front of a nearby tree, moving in an oddly graceful way for a bug. Two more joined it, darting here and there as if searching the entire place for something important. With every one firefly, two more came as well, eventually adding up to more fireflies than I had ever seen at one time. They started moving as one; swirling lights around the air. Then the green fireflies buzzed in. One by one, green and yellow mixed together, separated and mixed again. The green mass moved away from the yellow one and they swirled around together in large circles. Then, this was the best part, they whizzed away so fast it looked like they exploded, as if they were yellow and green fireworks. The lightning bugs scattered away, going in every direction, until they were all around us and moving freely. They dissipated, leaving only a handful or two behind, and it was over.

I looked at Alec's awed but happy face with my mouth hanging open. How something as simple as watching fireflies fly around could be so astoundingly beautiful was mind-blowing.

"You'll catch fireflies," he said, referring to my mouth dropping open. I closed it and smiled at him, the image of the dancing bugs still burning fresh in my mind.

"How did you find this place?" I asked him.

"This is where my dad took my mom on their first date," he explained. "They showed it to Jace, Isabelle, Max, and I when we were younger and I always come here in spring to see it again. The fireflies have done this every year for a long time. I don't know if it's a mating thing or just firefly instinct, but I love to watch it."

I was still smiling when I said, "If it's a mating thing then we were interrupting."

He only laughed with me and played with the ends of my hair, commenting on how smooth it was. I wasn't particularly listening, as I was still pondering the movement of the fireflies. I tried not to think about it too much, because I knew that if I did then I would overthink it and it would lose its wonder. So I told Alec that it was the _pamplemousse _that made my hair so silky and we both smiled at the memory.

"This is my new favorite place," I told Alec after thanking him again for showing me such a thing.

"What was your old favorite place?" he asked after a minute or two.

I have to say, that made me think for a bit. It was a good question, but I had never really chosen a specific favorite place to be. I liked many places, like the Eiffel Tower and my old house and a small pond in the woods behind it, but none of them compared to this. If I had to choose one though…

"Wherever my family was," I said simply. The sentence brought sudden tears to my eyes as I thought about all of the places we had gone to when I was younger, all of the things we had seen and done. I wanted to go to those places with my mom and dad again but I couldn't… I blinked away the tears, not wanting to cry in front of Alec again. I knew he wouldn't think much of it because he understands my pain, but I also didn't want to ruin the date with my sobbing.

The stars seemed to get brighter as the sky got darker and the fireflies diminished. After the last of the little glowing bugs had gone, Alec and I just sat there, holding each other and looking up at the sky. We both tried to find the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, but we only found half a dipper and it didn't look big or little, more like medium, which greatly confused us.

Eventually though, we were forced to leave as we both had to be back before curfew and it was starting to get late. We packed up the picnic things, blew out the candles and put everything in the trunk of Alec's car. Together we drove back to his house, but it seemed like the drive was shorter that time.

We made it to his house just before his mom and dad got home. Thanks to Isabelle, we were safely inside before anyone could be suspicious. Jace, Max, and Alec's parents all thought we had spent the day at home and at Hot Topic. How could we have hidden all of those shopping bags?

Bone tired and damn happy, Alec and I brushed our teeth and climbed into bed together, turning the lights off as we went. He cozied into me and we feel asleep instantly.

I'm very happy to say that I had no nightmares.

**A/N- So how was it? Good, I hope. I also tried to make it long so tell me if I succeeded in a review because I didn't even get half of what I wanted in the last chapter, but I thought 'hey, why deprive them of their chapter? That's rude' so I posted this anyways because I love all of you and thought that you might return the favor… *hint, hint*  
>Did you like the fluff? Or was it not even fluff, just mild fuzz? Again, tell me in your review!<br>Thankssss!  
>-Ella :) <strong>


	16. Love

**A/N- hey everyone! Thank you all for the marvelous reviews and now I want to give you a present but I have to ask you all something first- If I make this M-rated and add a lemon will you still read this? And if you still read this, will someone help me find a beta who has advice on writing lemons? Please? I'm at a total loss here.  
>And now for some huge mounds of 500 thread-count fluff. Do you want some fluff? I think we need some fluff…<br>Disclaimer- I own nothing. **

(Magnus POV)

"Alec, I'm telling you again," I said slowly. "Ron Weasley has _five_ brothers and _one _sister."

Alec shook his head. "I'm almost positive he only has four brothers."

I sighed. Alec and I had suddenly both woken up at three in the morning. I have no idea why we were both awake at the exact same time. It was just one of those random things… We ended up talking about Harry Potter because I had seen all seven of the books on his bookshelf in duplicates. I pointed them out to him and he said that one set of books was for reading and re-reading and letting friends borrow, while the other set was for looks only- they weren't to be borrowed or read, and he kept them in perfect condition- all hardcover with the jackets still on them. It really only struck me as odd because I did the exact same thing with my Harry Potter books at home…

I was the biggest Potterhead on the planet. I knew everything about Harry Potter and everything about the books, houses, villains, fights, spells… Hell, I had been to Harry Potter world at least six times and had seen every movie ever! Alec had nothing on me.

I held up five of my fingers, pointing to each one as I counted off the number of brothers- "Fred and George, Percy, Bill, and Charlie!" I held up the pointer finger on my other hand. "Then there's Ginny."

Alec blushed. "Oh," he said. "I was counting Fred and George as one person."

I laughed with him and nodded. "I do that a lot, too," I reassured him. "But don't try to compete with my Potter knowledge. You'll just get burned."

Even in the dim light, I could still see his eyes sparkle when he smiled at me. His smile did things to my mind and my legs and my heart. My mind stopped completely and focused only on that beautiful smile of his. While my mind was focused on him, it forgot to control my legs which made them turn to jelly. And my heart would either speed up and flutter around in my chest, or stop altogether. And I'm totally content with all of this happening at one time if it meant that I got to see him smile.

"What?" Alec asked when he caught me staring at him.

"You just…" I paused, thinking about what had just gone through my mind.

"I just…?"

"Nothing; it's stupid," I said, looking down at my crossed legs.

"No," Alec said. He got off the chair by his desk and joined me on his bed. "Tell me."

"You… Your smile is amazing…" I paused again, trying to figure out how to word it right. "It lights up your entire face and makes your eyes sparkle. It's my favorite thing about you."

He smiled again and then blushed. "I didn't notice that about me."

"I did."

I leaned in and kissed him, both of us smiling against each other's lips. For someone who claims to had never kissed anyone before, he was a surprisingly good kisser.

He pulled back from me, still smiling, and said, "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Oh, trust me, so am I," I said.

I leaned into him again, and our lips met. Kissing Alec made the rest of the world melt away and it was just me and him. I was completely focused on him and only him. So focused, in fact, that I didn't notice Isabelle opening the door to his room.

What she was doing at three in the morning I didn't know.

"Come on you two," she said. She rolled Alec's chair over towards his bed and sat on it backwards. "I would tell you to get a room, but you're already in one."

"Yes," Alec said. "And why are you in it?"

"That is a good question," she said. "A good question that I don't have a good answer to. I could barely hear you guys through the wall and I wasn't tired so I decided to bug you." Isabelle grinned at us and in that moment I thought she looked exactly like her brother. "So," she said. "How was your _date_?"

"Amazing," I answered. "You Lightwoods really go all out."

For some reason, Isabelle frowned when I said this. "_Some_ people think a date is going to a dive to eat greasy food and then going back to his house to play video games," she muttered peevishly.

"Jeez," I said. "Who took you out?"

"Your geeky friend Simon," she said.

I saw Alec's eyes go wide. "Simon Lewis?"

"Yeah," she muttered. "I mean, he's cute and everything… but he has _no idea_ how to woo a female. I don't even think he's been within ten feet of a pretty girl before. He hangs out with that Maia girl all the time, but she's just as geeky as him!"

"Be nice to Simon," I told her. "He's had a crush on you all year. Why do you think he's over here all the time?"

She thought for a minute. "To play Guitar Hero with Jace."

"To see _you_," I corrected. "Just give him a chance, okay? He really likes you."

She sighed. "I'll try my best," she said. "But I want one of you to give him some damn dating advice."

"We'll help him out," I said, taking Alec's hand. "He'll be a total ladies' man by the time we're through with him."

Isabelle didn't seem convinced. "Yeah, sure."

"Not to be rude, Isabelle," I began. "You know we both love you very much but if you could go away, that'd be great."

"Magnus!" Alec scolded.

Isabelle just laughed and said that she understood if we wanted to 'canoodle.' Me and this girl were so alike that it was almost scary. Almost.

She got up and left, leaving Alec and I alone once again.

"Now," I said. "Where were we?"

Alec looked around nonchalantly. "Oh, I don't know," he said. "Harry Potter, kissing, me, the best thing that ever happened to you…"

I raised my eyebrows. "I don't remember that last part."

"Whups," Alec corrected himself. "_I _was thinking about that."

This man could make me smile by just saying one simple sentence, and that was hard to do. I pressed my lips to his once again and heard him sigh.

I had come to the conclusion the day before that I was falling for him and falling hard. This is going to sound so lame but… I had never in my life felt that way about someone, _anyone_, before. During the little sleep that I got, I thought about my feelings for him, how deep they were I mean. I… I loved him. And I can honestly say that I love him.

"I love you," I whispered.

Damnit.

Damnit, damnit, damnit all to hell.

I hate it when I say the things in my mind out loud.

I felt Alec freeze and his muscles tensed up. He pulled back and looked at me. "What?" he said.

"I… I said 'I love you.'"

"No," Alec said. He shook his head and blinked rapidly. "No, don't tell me that."

"I'm sorry but…"

Holding up a hand to stop me, he took a deep breath. "I don't feel right saying that back to you when I haven't even come out to my parents yet." When I looked lost, he continued. "Let me rephrase that- You deserve someone better than me, someone you can have a public relationship with. I'm just a guy who is stuck in the closet and you shouldn't have to deal with that. I really like you, but if I tell you that I love you… it won't feel real because no one else knows how I feel about you. Besides Isabelle."

I got what he was saying then. He was ashamed of being closeted and not telling anyone about us. I understood what he meant, but that didn't make any difference to me.

"I don't care when you come out, Alec," I told him. "I love you for you, and I'll wait as long as I need to for you to tell your parents about us. Even then, it would only add to how happy I am to be with you. I don't want you to ever think that you don't deserve me. You're more than I could ever ask for and _I love you_."

Relief flooded into his face and he broke into a smile. "You do?" he asked.

"Yes, I do."

"I love you, too." He blushed and I could tell that the words sounded foreign to him. "If it makes any difference… I was planning on telling my parents tomorrow." He looked at the clock. "Well, I guess it would be considered later today but…" The blush got deeper. "You know what I mean."

My cheeks hurt from smiling. "Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Of course," he said firmly. "They need to know. And if I tell them, then it'll be better for both of us."

"I'll love you no matter how long it takes," I said. "I hope you know that," I whispered to him.

"Say it again," he said against my lips.

"I love you." I kissed him deeply, letting my mouth linger on his.

"I love you," he said back to me.

I have to say; those three words made my heart beat faster than it did when he smiled.

**A/N- Urgh, I hate it when my chapters are crappy! Please review though; I gotta know just how crappy it was :(  
>Later,<br>-Ella**


	17. Secret

**A/N- Hey everyone! I loved all of your reviews and I'm still not sure if I'm going to add a lemon yet because I've never done one before. Most of you seemed okay with me adding one but I still don't know. For now, I'm going to stick with the T-rated stuff until I make up my mind.  
>Disclaimer- hey, I own nothing. Not MTV, not My Chemical Romance, not the Mortal Instruments, not Cocoa Puffs, not Cheerios, not Spider Man and not anything else but the plot. just so we're clear.<strong>

(Alec POV)

Magnus and I did end up falling asleep at about five, but we still woke up earlier than everyone else. Well, I woke up early. Magnus was a heavy sleeper and he so obviously did not like waking up.

I started out just whispering his name and gently shaking him, but his eyes stayed closed so I changed tactics and began shaking him harder. Finally I sighed and gave up, making my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and attempt to fix my hair. It was always so messy; I have no idea how Magnus keeps his perfect all the time. Or maybe it's just perfect to me because anything and everything he does is perfect.

By the time I was out of the bathroom it was after eight and Magnus still wasn't up so I just went downstairs by myself. I went straight to the kitchen as my stomach started rumbling, begging for food louder than Church does. My family has so much cereal it's ridiculous, and I like every single one, so I simply closed my eyes and randomly chose a box. It turned out to be Cocoa Puffs. I smiled and happily poured myself a bowl, but made sure to leave some for Max. Cocoa Puffs were his favorite.

I sat at the table near the TV and noticed that the aforementioned TV was already on and blaring MTV. I turned my head to the side and found Jace lazily staring at the screen and eating ice cream. I would say I was surprised to see him eating ice cream for breakfast but I really wasn't.

"You're up early," I told him.

Jace shrugged. "Yeah well," he said. "I wanted some ice cream."

"You woke up for ice cream?" I asked. "You almost never open your eyes before noon unless it's something important."

"Ice cream is important," he countered.

I scoffed in answer, turning back to my Cocoa Puffs. My Chemical Romance was on and I turned up the volume muttering, "Hell yeah."

Jace raised his eyebrow and looked at me. "What is with you and your screamy metal death music?" he asked.

"It is not 'screamy metal death music,'" I said. "It's alternative rock. Magnus said the exact same thing."

Jace was silent for a little while which made me think that he was done talking. But then he cleared his throat and set down his ice cream bowl. "Speaking of Magnus," he started. My heart suddenly fell down to my stomach as I thought about what he might be about to say. "Is he okay?"

I let out a relieved breath. "He's not exactly okay, but he's a lot better," I said.

Jace nodded. "Oh. I uh…" He paused. "I was worried about him."

"What?" I said in fake disbelief. "Jace Lightwood is worried about other peoples' _feelings_?"

Rolling his eyes, Jace turned towards me. "Come on, Alec," he said. "I'm trying to be serious."

Wow. Jace being serious and caring about Magnus. Maybe he was sick or something, but the tables definitely felt turned to me.

"Okay," I said. "Continue."

"He just seemed really sad lately and I thought he was going to try and hurt himself or something."

That was a legitimate reason to be concerned about Magnus but something else was bugging me. "You didn't seem to notice that when his mother died," I said quietly.

"Yes I did," Jace said sharply. "Magnus and I just weren't that close back then."

"And you two are such great friends now?" I asked skeptically.

"He's like my very flamboyant big brother," was his answer. Jace shook his head, getting serious again. "Look, would you just keep an eye out for him? Make sure he's alright?"

I nodded. "I already do that, but sure."

"Good." He stood up, taking his empty ice cream bowl with him. Before he had gone back to the kitchen, he turned back to me and pointed at my Cocoa Puffs bowl. "Hey, make sure you save some of those for Max. Otherwise he'll throw a fit." Then he was gone; back to his room to text Clary I bet.

I finished my cereal quietly, listening to My Chemical Romance and thinking about Magnus. Would he purposely hurt himself? I didn't at all want to think about that but my mind kept bringing it back up. I hated my mind sometimes… Finally the thought urged me to get off my ass and check on him. I placed my bowl in the sink and turned off the TV, then climbed back up the stairs and into my room.

Sure enough, Magnus was still very much asleep. I knew that shaking him wouldn't work, (a tornado probably wouldn't work) so I just hung around in my room for a while, not really doing anything important. I mulled over the fact that I was going to tell my parents and Jace that I was gay and that I should've been nervous but I was pretty calm. Once I had told myself that I was gay, it was easier to think about. I was really only thinking of Magnus.

At nine o'clock I saw Magus stir for a second, then stop and sigh. I hopped off my chair and bounced onto the bed next to him. The movement seemed to wake him and he opened up his gorgeous eyes.

"Good morning," I said sweetly, smiling at him. "Glad you're awake."

He smiled back at me and rubbed his eyes, yawning. He looked like a kitten when he yawned.

"Jace is up earlier than you," I told him.

"Really?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. He reached forward and turned the clock to him, squinting at the digital numbers, when I noticed something on his wrist. There was a little line that was lighter than the rest of his skin. Magnus's hand was back to his eyes before I got a good look at his wrist so I didn't bother to question it.

"Yeah," I said. "He claims he got up to eat ice cream but I don't believe him."

"What do you think he was up for then?"

I thought for a minute. "So he could take Clary home."

Magnus started giggling quietly and he agreed with me, saying that Clary was bound to sleep over sometime.

He pushed the covers back and got out of my bed but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back, asking for a good morning kiss. He smiled and pressed his lips to mine for only a second before pulling back.

"At least let me brush my teeth before we start making out again," he said slyly.

I blushed but nodded to the bathroom. "Go ahead."

Magnus left and I sat back on my bed, letting my thoughts drift to his wrist again. I couldn't remember if I had seen that before or if I had seen it but blocked it out. The thought of Magnus purposely hurting himself made my spine tingle. And not in the good way.

He came back before I could mingle on the thought and he pulled my body flush to his.

"You know," he said into my shoulder. "Waking up next to you is better than waking up next to Gerard Way."

I grinned. "Oh, a My Chemical Romance reference," I said. "I see I'm rubbing off on you."

"In more ways than one," he said, cocking up that eyebrow.

My cheeks got red again and I didn't say anything to that. He reached up to push the hair from my face and I caught sight of his wrist again. It was definitely a scar. Actually, there were three.

I pulled back and grabbed his wrist, lining it up with my eye-level.

"What are these?" I demanded.

His face went blank, losing all playfulness from the few seconds before. "Nothing," he said automatically. "I…fell."

I looked at him with wide eyes. "You fell? On your wrist?" I asked incredulously. "Three times?"

Magnus forcefully tugged his wrist from out of my grasp. "Really, it's nothing," he said again.

"Why won't you just tell me the truth?"

"Alexander," he began.

"_Don't_ call me Alexander," I hissed. "Just tell me what happened and I won't ever bring it up again. I'm pretty sure I know where those scars came from but I need you to tell me. _Now._"

"It's not important," he said firmly. "Why should I even tell you?"

"Because I love you!" I said fiercely. "And the thought of you doing that to yourself kills me."

Magnus looked down at his wrist and swallowed thickly. "I'll tell you, okay?" he said. "But you have to promise me that you'll stay calm."

I nodded and sat down on the bed, taking him with me.

"It was a while ago," he started. "And things just got to be too much in my life. My dad was hurting because of my mom, my grades were slipping, and my life was falling apart. I was in so much pain that I could barely get through the day. No one knew, not even my dad, but I started… cutting myself, just to make the pain go away. The scars were easy to cover with makeup and the pain was harder to hide but I managed it. Nobody suspected that I would do such a thing; I was always so happy and carefree. Eventually, I stopped altogether. But then this whole thing with my dad brought it back to my mind and I started again. I'm trying to stop, really I am, but it's a lot harder to stop than it is to start."

I looked at him, tears welling in my eyes. He seemed so broken, so hurt. "Did you ever think about… doing something worse?" I asked him.

He nodded, just barely; he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"How much worse?" I whispered.

"A lot," he said. "I wanted to be with my parents."

A tear escaped from the corner of my eye but I just left it there. "Why didn't you tell me?" I took his hand in mine, trying to catch his gaze, but he still wouldn't look at me.

"Because you wouldn't have understood."

"But," I started. I didn't finish my sentence though. There wasn't anything I could say to that because he was right. I wouldn't have understood and I still don't understand at all. But I did love Magnus with all my heart and I was trying to understand his intentions.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking at me.

"No," I told him. "No, don't apologize for this." I thought for a minute, eyeing his wrist again. "When was the last time you cut yourself?"

"Um," he said. "I don't remember… I think it was Thursday."

My eyes got wide. "_This _Thursday?" He nodded, looking away again. "If you ever feel like you need to do that again I want you to come and talk to me, okay? If I see any more scars I'm going to have to tell my parents."

Magnus snapped his head back to me. "Please don't tell anyone."

"I'll promise to keep quiet if you promise to stop," I countered.

"I promise," he said.

We were both quiet then and I took his hand in mine, squeezing it tightly. "What did you use?" I asked.

He sighed and got up, walking to the bathroom. He opened a few drawers and pulled out his makeup bag. Rifling around in it for a second he still refused to meet my eye. Eventually he pulled out a small, silver pair of scissors. They looked very clean, almost too clean, like he had just polished them or something. I figured he probably had, to get rid of the blood. I reached my hand out and he silently placed the scissors in my palm, his eyes cast down to the tile floor.

I closed my fingers around the scissors and turned on my heel to my room. I threw the scissors in my trash can and slammed the lid shut.

Magnus walked back into my room as well and sat down on my bed with a guilty expression on his face. He seemed disappointed in himself so I got on my knees in front of him and held both his hands. He looked right into my eyes and just started silently crying.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh," I soothed. I brought my thumb up to his face and wiped away a few tears, but my other hand never left his.

* * *

><p>We were downstairs a few minutes later and Magnus helped himself to a huge bowl of Cheerios. Not eating for a good week and a half had caught up with him.<p>

He sat sideways on the couch and pulled his long legs up onto the couch to cross them. I sat next to him and glanced at him every now and then. We were the only two people downstairs so I scooted closer to him.

"So," Magnus said, slurping away at his cereal. "Are you going to tell your parents today?"

I felt my heart speed up a little as I nodded.

Magnus had a tiny drop of milk on his upper lip and I was dying to kiss it off. He must've known that because he looked at me and expertly moved his tongue across his lip, removing the milk. I was literally about to pounce when I heard footsteps going down the stairs.

I saw my mom speed-walking around in the living room and I sat up straighter when she walked by.

"Hey, Mom?" I said. Magnus gave me a thumbs up. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Not right now, Alec," she answered, putting on her earrings and grabbing her cell phone. "Maybe later, okay? I'm late for a meeting. Tell me after dinner." She kissed me on the forehead and left.

I sighed and Magnus affectionately patted my hand. "Don't worry," he said. "She'll come around."

"It's not her I'm worried about," I said nervously. "It's my dad. My mom tells me all the time that she loves me no matter what but my dad is so conservative and strict. Change isn't really his thing."

* * *

><p>I spent the rest of the day making sure Magnus didn't get within a ten-foot radius of anything sharp and talking to him and Izzy about my parents. Izzy completely agreed that Mom wouldn't disown me or anything, that she would be okay with it, but Izzy also thought that Dad would be harder to tell. Jace, on the other hand, we had mixed feelings about. Magnus thought he wouldn't change much but I thought he would start teasing me like he does to Magnus.<p>

Why did this have to be so complicated?

By dinner time I was jittery and barely touched my spaghetti. My mom asked what was wrong and I told her I'd tell her after dinner, which went by way too fast for me.

Max went up to bed but he begged me to tell him so I said it was an 'adult thing' and he just pouted.

"I'll make it up to you later," I said. "Pick out a comic book for tomorrow night and Magnus and I will read it to you. We'll do the voices and everything." He smiled and ran off to his room. There was no doubt in my mind that he was going to pick Spider Man.

I went back downstairs, nearly fell, caught myself, and ever so slowly got to the library where we had all of our little family meetings. Everyone was there, even Magnus who was getting daggers glared into him from my dad. That was new.

I sat next to Magnus and just… sat there. Words and air refused to come from my mouth.

"Alec?" my mom said. "What is it, sweetie? Your father and I have work to do."

I cleared my throat. "I uh… it's just that…" I swallowed and looked toward Magnus who gave me an encouraging look. Jace raised his eyebrows as he saw the exchange and was about to talk before I cut him off. "I'm gay."

**A/N- You probably hate me for the angst, the lack of fluff, the lack of quickness to get this chapter up, the bad quality of this chapter, AND the cliffhanger. But you know what? I tried, okay? Just review please. *puppy face*  
>-Ella<strong>


	18. Out

**A/N- *gasp* so many reviews :D I hit 200! OMG YAY! I am eternally grateful!  
>Disclaimer- I own everything! *gets raped by lawyers of doom* NEVER MIND! I own NOTHING! D:<br>**

(Alec POV)

Blank faces. That was all I saw. Everyone's face, even Jace's, were all devoid of any emotion. Magnus was looking around in an awkward way, avoiding my dad's hard gaze, and Isabelle looked upset. My mother was the only one who looked relatively okay with the entire situation. That helped… a little.

"Alec," my mom said, her eyes growing kinder by the second. "I know."

"_What?_" I sputtered. "You… you _know_?"

She nodded slowly. "I'm your mother," she said, as if that was all she needed to say. Which it really was.

Jace was too quiet so I turned my eyes to his, silently begging him to talk. "Are you sure?" was all he asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I took Magnus's hand for emphasis.

At this, my dad said nothing and his expression didn't change, but he got up and left. Just up and left, with no words to me or a nod or anything. He didn't even look at me on his way out and I felt my heart break in two. It was more like four. My mom smiled sadly at me and gave me a mom hug that made me feel better for a second. She said that she was happy I had finally told her but she needed to talk to my dad.

As she was leaving, Jace was looking around at Isabelle who refused to meet his eye.

"Did you know about this?" he asked her.

"She found out by accident," Magnus defended. "Really."

I could tell that Jace didn't at all believe that but I wasn't paying much attention to him. I was still thinking of my dad and how stony and unreadable his face was. That couldn't have been a good sign and my chest still hurt, like someone was stepping on me over and over and over again. My own father, my _dad_, didn't accept me for who I was. I was starting not to accept me for who I was. But then I started thinking about Magnus and how he looked so proud of me when I had said that I was gay. But I didn't want that look on his face; I wanted it on my dad's.

"And this is just a wild guess," Jace said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "But I'm assuming you two"- he pointed at Magnus and I- "are going out."

Isabelle, Magnus, and I all nodded simultaneously which would've been comical if we had been in any other situation.

Jace wrinkled his nose but not in a disgusted way, in a confused, 'Now I'm going to think', kind of way.

"I'm oddly okay with that," he said. "You would be a nice couple."

"That's what she said," I said, pointing at Isabelle.

"Dude, that joke so doesn't work with what I just said," Jace muttered.

"No," I said, frustrated to the point of getting a headache. "Isabelle literally said that."

The look on Jace's face said 'Duhhhh….' *drool*

Then it clicked- "Oh!" he almost shouted. "I get it!"

Isabelle shook her head and turned back to Magnus and I. "I'm so happy for you two!" she squealed. "And I'm sorry that dad is being an asshole, but I am almost halfway positive that he will probably eventually come around. Maybe."

Gee, that was reassuring.

"Get out," was all I said. Yes, that was rude, but Isabelle understood and she got up to leave, dragging Jace behind her.

Magnus didn't say anything but I could tell he wanted to by the way he was biting his lip. I didn't want anyone to talk to me and I didn't want to talk to anyone, so I just put my head in his lap and stretched out on the couch. I felt Magnus play with my hair and my throat got tighter.

"I know this wasn't what you wanted to happen," he said quietly.

"I just don't understand," I said, trying to speak before the tears bubbled up. "Aren't parents supposed to love you no matter what? Isn't that what they're here for?"

Magnus didn't answer my question. "Maybe he just needs time to adjust to this. It took you some time didn't it?" he asked instead. I nodded. "Then relax and give it a day or two, maybe try to talk to him. My dad did the same thing, almost, and he ended up being fine with it. With me."

"How long did it take him?" I asked Magnus, bringing my eyes up to his.

"Seven hours," he said. "I told him, he talked to my mom, they went to sleep, and the next morning he was his usual happy self and told me repeatedly that he was sorry for how he acted and blah, blah, blah."

"Do you think he'll come around?"

"Of course." And there was that smile that I loved so much.

I heard footsteps coming down the hallway to the library and I sat up fully, having a hunch as to who it might be. Yes, it was my father.

"Dad," I said shakily. "I need to talk to you…" I stopped as I realized that he wasn't listening to me or even acknowledging that I was in the room. "Dad," I said again. He picked up the newspaper he had been reading and left without muttering a word.

I put my head back in Magnus's lap but brought it up again when I started crying.

* * *

><p>The rest of the night was just like that, my dad ignored me, Jace annoyed me, and Isabelle, Magnus, and my mom sympathized with me. But I had never felt so alone and was silently glad that I had school the next day.<p>

Since Magnus wasn't going to school that Monday (it had been an official week since his dad died and Magnus wanted to go to his grave alone while everyone was out) I had to endure the entire day with only Simon to keep me company. And he had no idea what the hell was going on.

Ms. Madison was being extra bitchy that day so I finally snapped at her saying that she was unfair and chose favorites and a few other things that I don't want to repeat right now.

Oddly enough, Clary backed me up the whole time and we both got sent to the principal's office. We sat in detention for the rest of the period and had to do a three-page essay on respect that was due the next day.

"I'm sorry," Clary whispered to me. "I guess I didn't really help much when I called her a fish and chips loving bitch, huh?"

Just the way she said it made me smile a little. "No, that made it worse," I told her. "But it was a nice touch."

She smiled back at me and I began to think that she would be

for Jace when she spoke up again. "I hope you don't mind me saying so," she started. "But Jace told me what happened with you and your dad."

Damn it, Jace can never keep his stupid mouth shut.

"So you know about me and Magnus then?" I asked.

She nodded, her smile getting friendlier and bigger. "I always thought you two would be great for each other. I also always thought that you were straight, but I guess I was wrong."

"Me, too," I said.

"I feel so bad because you have to stay here all day without him," she said. "Is his flu getting any better?"

My eyebrows furrowed together and I was about to ask what the hell she was talking about when I blushed and closed my mouth. That was the cover we had been using for Magnus- he had a severe case of the flu and wouldn't be in school for a long time. It didn't seem right for me to lie to Clary when she was such I kind person so I moved my chair closer to her and lowered my voice even though we were the only two people in detention.

"He doesn't actually have the flu," I said.

"Oh?" Clary's eyebrows went up. "Where is he?"

"He… his dad passed away last week and Magnus has been staying at my house."

She gasped. "Oh my gosh," she whispered. "How's he doing?"

"Much better," I said. I decided to leave out the cutting part. That was a private thing. "He should be back in school by tomorrow."

"Good," she said. "A lot of people miss him."

"I know," I said. "But, uh, can you keep quiet about his dad? He really doesn't want a lot of people to know."

"Yeah, of course," she said. "My lips are sealed. I'm just glad I know what's been going on for the past week. Last Monday when you and him got called up for dismissal, everyone was so confused, especially when Jace said he didn't know about any doctor's appointment."

"Trust me, I was confused, too," I muttered.

The bell rang and Clary and I gathered our things. She stopped me before we got out into the hallway to go to our separate classes. "Can you tell Magnus that we all miss him… and I'm sorry about what happened?"

I nodded. "Sure."

She smiled and disappeared into the crowds of teenagers.

I had just made a new friend.

* * *

><p>Thankfully, when Jace, Isabelle, Max and I got home, my parents were still at work and my mom called to tell us that they wouldn't be home until late. When I asked her if she spoke to Dad at all she only sighed and said she would talk to me later. That didn't help my bad mood.<p>

I hate to say that I was pissed off for the rest of the night. So pissed in fact, that I actually snapped at Magnus for talking about his hair too much. Then he looked at me with those big, green-gold doe eyes and I immediately apologized and told him about my suck-tastic day… and about Clary. It was weird because Magnus said that he sort of wanted Clary to know. They had bonded over her new high-tops a while back and he liked her.

"Alec?" I heard someone say from the door. Said door opened and in walked Max, looking adorable and little in his Spider Man pajamas. "I picked out a book."

"Which one?" I asked him.

In answer, he held out a comic book with none other than Spider Man on the front.

"Magnus is gonna help do the voices right?" Max asked me.

Magnus smiled and we all traipsed on over to Max's room and on his bed. Magnus sat to Max's left and I sat to his right. I asked Max who he wanted to do the villain voices and who he wanted to do Spider Man's voice. He chose me as Spider Man and Magnus as the evil league of super villains.

The comic was the same one I had read to him a few nights ago but it was his favorite and he giggled adorably whenever Magnus did the deep, 'scary' villain voices.

About halfway through the book, my mom knocked on the door and said that she had to talk to me. I told Magnus that he would have to finish on his own and he _had_ to do the Spider Man voice right. "Talk like Simon," I told him.

Mom walked me to my room and sat on my bed with me.

"Alexander," she said, rubbing my hand. "Your dad isn't taking this whole thing very well. He… he's not used to change and he always saw you as a strong young man who was going to marry a beautiful young women one day. I love you no matter what, and he loves you too but I think he just needs some time to adjust to this. He's worried about you, actually." She paused and sighed. "And I don't think he's comfortable with the idea of you and Magnus sleeping in the same room."

Despite all my efforts not to do so, I blushed and nodded my head. "Just for tonight?" I asked her. "Then I promise I'll move back to the floor."

"_Back to the floor?_" she repeated. "You've been sleeping in the same bed?"

"Uh, we," I stuttered. "No?"

She shook her head but smiled anyways. "This is the last night you two share a bed okay? Tomorrow you go right back to the floor, or the futon, or the bathtub…"

"Okay, okay," I said. "I'll tell Magnus."

"Good." She got up to leave but before she was out the door she turned back around. "If I catch you two in the same bed tomorrow I'm going to kick you out of this house." I think she was only half joking.

"Why would you kick _me_ out?"

"Because Magnus has nowhere else to go," she said. "You, on the other hand, have a very sweet grandmother in Jersey who would _love_ to spend time with her grandson."

"No more bed sharing after tonight," I said. "Yes ma'am."

* * *

><p>When I got back to Max's room, Magnus was putting away the comic book. When I spotted him turning off the lights, I almost said something, but he put a finger to his lips and pointed down to Max. He was fast asleep.<p>

We tip-toed out of Max's room and then went back to mine. I told Magnus about the sleeping situation and he begrudgingly agreed to stop with the bed sharing. But we had that night so I was mildly happy.

At ten o'clock, Magnus yawned and turned to me, saying, "I'm going to bed. I have to get my beauty sleep."

"Why?" I asked, crawling into bed with him. "You're already as beautiful as physically possible."

"Aw, aren't you sweet?" He kissed my cheek and rolled over to turn off the lights. "Seriously though, if I don't get eight hours of sleep I will get bags under my eyes and those aren't attractive on anyone." I opened my mouth to say something but Magnus cut me off. "Not even Gerard Way, so don't go there." My mouth closed.

I just couldn't fall asleep at all. My body was tired but my mind was going crazy. Ms. Madison's stupid essay had me thinking about respect and having Magnus next to me wasn't helping calm me down. Then there was my dad and Max and Jace and Clary and Isabelle. There were too many thoughts in my mind at a time so I gave up hoping for sleep and went to my window. The moon was high in the dark sky and it was full, a sort of yellow-white color. I sighed at the pureness of it but nothing compared to the firefly field.

Except maybe Magnus.

I suddenly felt a pair of arms around my waist. It was Magnus, looking even more beautiful in the moonlight.

"I take it you couldn't sleep?" he asked.

I shook my head and grasped his hands. "You'll get bags under your eyes if you don't go back to sleep," I said playfully.

I could feel him laugh. "I know," he said. "But I also know that you'll have baggy eyes too so it's all evened out."

Chuckling a little, I realized I hadn't kissed Magnus that entire day which was not acceptable. I tilted my head back and brought my lips to his, loving the feeling of kissing him. His hand found my cheek and he moved so we were facing each other, never breaking the kiss. His arms went back around my waist in a very comfortable position. I felt safe in his arms. Safe and loved.

* * *

><p>The next morning was like any other morning with Magnus, only I didn't put on his skinny jeans like last time.<p>

We were both awake by six and Magnus thankfully had no bags under his eyes. Neither did I. Magnus left his hair down so it only took him a half hour to get ready and by 6:39 we were downstairs, holding hands under the table, and eating waffles. Isabelle came downstairs thirty seconds after we did and said that Jace had overslept and was running around trying to find clean underwear. I just shook my head.

"I have a question for you two," she said seriously. "Are you going to go public? Like, is it going to be Facebook official?"

"Yes and yes," I said before Magnus even had the chance to swallow his mouthful of Fruit Loops.

He almost spewed milk across the table but he caught himself in the nick of time. "We are?" he asked. When I nodded, he leaned over and kissed my cheek which made Isabelle go "AWWW!"

"Why didn't you tell me you were okay with going public?" Magnus asked me.

"Well, it was going to be a _surprise_." I looked pointedly at Isabelle who nonchalantly sipped at her coffee.

Jace somehow found some clean underwear (I hope) five minutes later and we were all on our way to school by 6:45. Right on time.

Jace and Isabelle had to go pick up Clary so Magnus and I got to school before them. There were a bunch of kids milling around by the front doors of the school and Magnus turned to me before we got out of the car.

"Are you sure?" he asked me. I took a deep breath and kissed him on the lips, not letting go of his hand. "I'll take that as a yes," he said when I pulled back.

We got out of the car together and walked into the building, still holding hands. We sure did get a lot of weird looks and even more "Whaaaa?" looks. There were only a few 'Ew's which made me feel a little more confident. Most people were just confused out of their minds but no one said anything. By the time we were actually inside the school my knuckles had turned white and I'm pretty sure I was about to break Magnus's fingers so I loosened my hold.

"That wasn't too bad," I said shakily.

"If it had been any worse I wouldn't have a hand," he responded quietly. "Nonetheless, I'm proud of you." He kissed me and we heard someone clear their throat.

Magnus turned around slowly and immediately glared at whoever it was. I turned around as well and saw a somewhat tall guy with dark hair and tan skin. He was glaring right back at us and clutching his books like they were his lifeline.

Magnus raised his eyebrow in a 'Can I help you' fashion. Then he cleared his throat and said, "Hello William."

William nodded. "Magnus," he said curtly. "Who's your friend?"

Magnus pulled me close to him. "This is Alec," he said. "My _boy_friend."

"Hi," I said. I held out my hand to William but he just sneered at it. What a brat.

"Yes, well," he drawled with a barely visible British accent. "I'll see you around, Magnus." He walked away briskly, leaving Magnus and I just standing there.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"No one," Magnus said. "Just an annoying ex-boyfriend."

I felt my cheeks redden, though I don't know why. "Oh," I said. "What a charming guy."

"Ugh."

We went down different paths to get to our lockers but met up again at the end of the hallway. I happily took Magnus's hand, though I was a bit more possessive and I kept a look out for _William_.

We were just walking past a row of lockers when I felt someone harshly shove both me and Magnus against the wall, making our books scatter across the hallway. They shouted a very rude term for a gay man at us and I had to hold Magnus back from going after them.

Just before we walked away, I saw William devilishly grin at us from across the hall.

**A/N- If you think William is a dickface, review. If you think Mr. Lightwood is a dickface, review. If you think I should update, review. If you think that anyone who bullies gays, bisexuals, or transgenders should be punched in the face, review.  
>Lots of reviews would be fantastic.<br>-Ella**


	19. School

**A/N- Yay. Reviews. I'm glad you guys agree with my last author's note :) You made me smile today.  
>Disclaimer- Hey, man, I don't own nothin'.<strong>

(Magnus POV)

Alec had to grab onto my hips from behind and firmly wrap his arms around me so I wouldn't beat the hell out of who had shoved us.

"Magnus, no," he said, spinning me around so I faced him. "They're not worth it. You'll just get into trouble." He made a small noise of pain as he put a hand up to his forehead and it came away with just a tiny bit of blood, but it was enough to upset me.

I gathered up his books and gently handed them to him, but shoved mine in a pile and walked briskly to the bathroom with Alec in tow. Once inside the bathroom, I set my books on the sink and Alec did the same, watching me carefully. I think he was waiting for me to explode or something but I only drizzled water on a paper towel and dabbed at the cut on his forehead. He winced when I did so, and I felt my chest tighten.

"I can't believe this," I muttered. "Those jerks have kept quiet for nearly two years and then all of a sudden they go back to shoving me into lockers."

Even though I tried my hardest to clean his cut gently, he winced twice more before he spoke. "Do they only mess with you or is it everyone?"

"Just me," I said quietly. "Probably because I'm the sparkliest."

Alec laughed but then hissed when I accidentally pressed on his head. He took the damp and blood-spotted paper towel from my hand and tossed it in the garbage can. When I looked at him, he said "It stings."

"Well, make sure you put something on that when we get home," I told him. "Otherwise it'll get infected."

He gave me an almost-smile and we both got all of our books. Surprisingly, he held my hand again once we were in the hallway.

"You're still going to hold my hand?" I asked as we walked down the hall and he nodded. "Even after you got pushed into a locker?" He nodded again which made his dark hair fall into his eyes. "Not that I'm complaining, but why?"

He simply said "Because I love you."

I smiled at him. "That's a good answer."

Before we parted ways, I kissed him on the forehead; right below his cut. Then I moved to his lips and we stayed like that for quite a while.

"Would you two stop with the PDA?" said Jace as he was walking towards us.

Without missing a beat, Alec said, "Would you and Clary stop making out every three seconds?"

"Touché," Jace muttered. He walked away, saying something about meeting Clary out back.

Alec wrinkled his nose and I just laughed at his innocence. I was considering taking Jace's advice and taking Alec around the back of the school so we could um… _study_ but Alec probably wouldn't be so up to that after being pushed into a locker by an ignorant bunch of assholes.

I kissed Alec on the cheek and told him I'd see him in fourth.

"Stay out of trouble," he called back to me.

(Alec POV)

I sat down at my desk, feeling a headache begin to throb underneath the place where I got cut. There were two things I was scared of about coming out- 1) My parents not approving of me and 2) Being bullied. Just my luck, both of those happened. But it was worth it, because I had Magnus right there by my side for the long, probably painful ride.

Someone slammed their books down on the desk in front of me and I nearly fell out of my chair. I looked up and it was Simon, looking angry and bewildered. He sat down in front of me and turned around backwards in his seat, pursing his lips. He looked _pissed_.

"Good to see you, too," I muttered at him.

Simone only exhaled angrily. "Why didn't you tell me?" he growled.

"Tell you what?"

"You _know_ what!" he almost shouted. "About you and Magnus."

I looked down at my binder. "Oh," I said. "That."

"Yeah, so why didn't you tell me?"

"I was going to but I just got here," I muttered. Seeing Simon angry was not a usual sight for me and it was kind of scary.

"And you couldn't have told me yesterday?" he fumed.

"I wanted to wait until Magnus got back to school so we could tell you _together_."

His shoulders sagged, making him look like a deflated balloon. "Oh. Well I had to find out from Maia."

I raised my eyebrow. "How did Maia know?" I asked him.

"Clary."

That made sense. Clary, Maia, and Isabelle were all really close friends. And they had all dated Simon once upon a time. Weird.

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked him quietly.

He thought for a second but then shook his head, reassuring me that he was simply hurt that I didn't tell him but I told my brother's girlfriend.

"So," Simon said, raising an eyebrow. "Are you and him gonna be all kissy-kissy whenever we play football?"

"Hm." I paused. That much I hadn't really thought about yet. Being with Magnus would make football much more interesting but I wouldn't have him on my team so we had an excuse to tackle each other. "It depends," I said.

"Depends on what?" he asked slowly, not really wanting to know.

"What kind of mood I'm in," I answered nonchalantly. Then I added, "And how sweaty he is."

Simon groaned. "Did you have to go there?" he asked.

"Hey, it was your fault. You're the curious one," I said, grinning. My head hurt like hell, but annoying Simon made me feel better.

I took forever to get to fourth period. Math and U.S. History bored me to death and I was starting to miss being with Magnus. I lost track of how many people came up to me and asked if it was true, that I was gay and dating Magnus. I said yes every single time and once I got to fourth period, I'm sure the majority of the school knew.

Ms. Madison had a substitute (YAY!) so we were all given a worksheet to do where all of the answers were in a paragraph on the back. Magnus and I finished early, as did everyone else, so the class erupted into talking and gossip. Magnus turned his chair around and sat right next to me, almost sitting on my lap. I would say I didn't blush, but I did; only it wasn't as red as I usually blush.

"Finally," Magnus sighed, putting his arm around my shoulders. "I have been dying to talk to you all day. Ms. Madison has superb timing. How's your cut?'

I instinctively brought my hand up to my forehead, feeling the small cut. "Not much better," I said. "It's kind of giving me a headache."

"Aw," he cooed. He kissed me right below my cut, just like he had that morning, and I felt myself smile. "Please, put a Band-Aid on that or else it'll get infected," he said firmly. "I think I have a sparkly one in my locker."

"I'll survive, Magnus," I said. "It's just a cut."

He bit his lip. "I know," he said while playing with the tips of my hair. "I feel bad, though," he said quietly. "Like this is my fault."

"It kind of is," I admitted. I leaned in closer to him, my lips almost touching his. "But you're worth it." Magnus closed the distance between us, kissing me passionately. There were a few, movie-like 'Ooooooh's from around us but we ignored them, to focused on one another to really care.

Unfortunately, we both needed to breathe so I had to remove my lips from his. I realized the sub was glaring at us and I quickly looked away.

"We're going to get in trouble," I whispered to Magnus.

He pushed back a stray piece of my hair. "I don't care," he said. "You're worth it."

I have the best boyfriend ever.

When it was time for lunch, Magnus found me at my locker and walked with me to the cafeteria. We sat at our usual table with Jace, Clary, Simon, and Isabelle. My mom had packed Magnus a salad with his favorite dressing on it and made me have one as well. She was on a big health binge and had been making us eat healthy foods all week long. I desperately wanted a burger.

"Hey, lovebirds," Izzy said as we sat down.

I didn't answer as I was too busy looking around the cafeteria at other peoples' trays. "Are there French fries today?" I asked Jace. When he nodded, I sprung up out of my chair and went straight to the lunch line. I heard Magnus laugh behind me and tell me to get him some, too.

I came back a minute later with a huge smile on my face and an equally huge tray of French fries. Sitting down next to Magnus and placing the tray next to him, I inhaled the lovely scent of grease. Sweet, sweet, grease.

"Thank goodness for school food," Jace said. He reached for a fry but I smacked his hand away.

"Get your own," I said, protectively shielding my tray.

"I don't have any money." He began to pout like Max. "You're letting Magnus have some," he whined.

"Yes," I said, handing one to Magnus. "Because he's my boyfriend."

"Whatever," he muttered, picking at his salad. He turned to his red-head. "Hey, Clary?" he asked, stretching out the y.

She guarded her tray like me. "No," she said automatically. He pouted some more.

"I absolutely _hate_ math!" Magnus exclaimed while he was sitting on my bed looking at his homework.

"More than I hate English?" I asked him.

"Yes!"

I rolled my eyes and looked over his shoulder at his math homework. It was scientific notation, which was easy for me. I helped him through it and he eventually got it done so we could have some 'us' time. We hadn't been alone together except for the few minutes this morning.

He kissed me sweetly and his eyes drifted to my forehead again. "Is your cut alright?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah," I said. Then, as an afterthought I added, "Are yours?"

He didn't understand what I meant, so I took his wrists and flipped them over. I counted the three scars on his left one and the four on his right. No new scars were there and I let out a relieved breath.

"Just checking," I told him gently. I brought his right wrist up to my lips and kissed the very last pink, puckered scar. "It took me a while to find them, but these are the only scars you have."

"I'm not sure if that deserves a thank you or not…" Magnus mused.

"I was saying that I'm disappointed in myself for not catching these earlier and I'm sorry you had to do this to yourself," I explained. "And besides this right here, there's not a scar on you, inside or out."

Magnus failed at hiding his smile. "Then thank you," he said.

"You're very welcome."

Magnus's eyes lit up like he had just remembered something. "Oh, hey guess what?" he said.

"What?"

"I love you."

I couldn't help but smile at those three words. "I love you, too."

He brushed his hand across my cheek, bringing my face closer to his. He kissed me deeply and I sighed against his lips. I got lost in Magnus, the way he looked, the way he made my heart melt, the way he smelled. He always smelled like vanilla, though I didn't know why. Was it naturally his smell or did he wear cologne? Was it another type of fancy, foreign body wash? I made a mental note to ask him about it later but my mind doesn't work correctly when I'm kissing Magnus.

**A/N- Aw, how cute. REVIEW!  
>-Ella :D<strong>


	20. Attractive

**A/N- Thanks for all the reviews! I'm going to try and make this chapter a bit longer. Hopefully I succeed.  
>P.S. – Izzy, Alec, Magnus, Jace, Simon, Maia, Clary and all them are in the same grade. I know Izzy is supposed to be younger, but I don't care. Izzy is 17 Alec is 18. Now you know.<br>Disclaimer- I own nothing. **

(Magnus POV)

"I am so going to kick your ass at this," I told Alec. We were in the very middle of an intense game of Guitar Hero. It was in competitive mode, where we both play the exact same notes on the exact same level. It was on expert and Alec had some major skills, but I was just as good as he was and we had a bet going- If I won, then Alec had to wear my skinny jeans for the rest of the week but if he won, then I would have to wear all black and no sparkles for the rest of the week. I would not give up, but only because I had a strong desire to see Alec in skinny jeans.

We were playing one of the longest damn songs on the game; it was the final song on the list. It exceeded the time of most Black Eyed Peas songs, at nearly fifteen minutes. My fingers were tired and my hair was falling in my eyes but did I care? No. Alec would be in skinny jeans whether he liked it or not.

"I doubt it," Alec said suddenly. "I have at least two thousand points more than you. " He indicated the screen and I let my mouth go open slightly, my fingers still moving across the colorful guitar. I jerked the neck of it up, gaining star power and getting ahead of Alec quickly.

He sneered, reminding me of William in a totally weird way. While I was distracted with this thought, I didn't notice Alec disconnect the strap from my guitar and the big piece of plastic fell to the carpeted floor. I made a noise of disbelief and hastily tried to get my guitar back on. In that time, the song ended and Alec won. He triumphantly took off his guitar but left the game on the "Player One Wins!" screen.

I set my guitar on the velvet couch and glared at him. "That's considered cheating," I told him.

"No," he said too innocently. "It's considered you not paying attention." He stuck out his hand to me. "Hand over the glitter, Mags. I won."

I pushed his hand away. "No, no, not so fast," I told him. "You cheated so I automatically win."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh. Cheaters never win and winners never cheat," I said to him. "Now go take off your pants and put on some skinny jeans."

"No," he said again. "Give me your glitter."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "This is war."

He raised his eyebrows at me but before he got a chance to say anything, I wrapped my arms around his waist and picked him off the ground then placed him back on the floor. We were almost wrestling… except it was much cuter. Why? Because I was tickling him and he was laughing in the most adorable way, begging me to stop before he squealed like a little girl. Who knew Alec was so ticklish?

"Stop," he said through laughter. "Magnus… hahaha, come on."

"Are you going to wear my skinny jeans?"

"No," he said breathlessly.

"What about boot cut?"

He laughed as I tickled him again and he nodded, halfheartedly pushing my hands away from his ribcage. I sweetly helped him back up and he grinned at me, his hair swept in his face.

"That's considered cheating," he told me. "You can't sneak attack me with a tickle fight. That's unfair."

"It is completely fair," I countered. "You just need faster reflexes."

"Faster reflexes?" he repeated. "Wasn't it just this Saturday that I totally beat you in football?"

"You mean on our date?" He nodded. "Oh, I remember beating you after you stole the ball from me and cheated like the cheating cheater that you are." We were both grinning now. "Cheater," I added.

"I am not a cheater," I said matter-of-factly. "You're just a sore loser."

"You know what…" I paused, and then pointed at him. "Your mom."

I could tell that Alec was just about to burst into laughter but he held it back and took a step closer to me. "Your cat."

"Your face."

"Your cat's face."

I stared at him in mock horror. "Chairman Meow is a beautiful creature. He did nothing wrong in this situation. Don't bring him into this."

"Oh my God, _shut up_," Jace said as he walked past the doorway with his hands over his ears. He didn't stop to go inside the living room, but as he walked down the hall I heard him call "I'm happy for you, but you're _so annoying_."

I only laughed at his annoyance and walked upstairs with Alec. We got to his room and sat cross-legged on his bed like we usually do when we want to have alone time.

I turned back to Alec. "So who won?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "How about neither of us won? Because I know you don't want to leave your glitter and I don't want to wear skinny jeans."

I nodded, but was a little disappointed. Alec looked so damn hot in those skinny jeans. They fit him in all the right places and if you looked up 'DAY-UM' in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of Alec in those wonderful skinny jeans.

"But you look so good in them," I whined. I put my hands on his knees and used them to move myself closer to him. "Can't you wear them one more time?" I asked. "For me?"

He thought for a second, biting his lip. "How about we go out on Friday?" he suggested. "I'll wear them then."

I smiled and nodded. "Perfect," I said. "Now I can show you off to everyone." He blushed when I said that. No matter what I've told him and will continue to tell him, he still doesn't believe that he is attractive in any way, shape, or form. He was so cute but could also be hot while still being surreal and beautiful. How could he not see it?

"Now I have something to look forward to," he said quietly, changing the topic.

"Me, too," I muttered. "I'm excited to see you in those jeans again." He blushed harder. "They look _really _good on you."

"Oh stop it," he said.

"Stop what?"

"All the compliments and stuff," he answered.

I tilted my head to the side, wishing he would look at me. "Why?"

"Because," he said. "I'm not any of those things you call me. I'm not beautiful or hot or cute or anything. I'm not like you."

"Yes you are," I said firmly.

"Name one thing about me that is even remotely attractive."

His blue eyes met mine and it was easy to tell him after that. "Your eyes," I said. "Your eyes are amazing. There are so many things about you that are amazing; _you_ just can't seem to find them. Your hair is so dark black and messy in such a way that it still looks good. I don't know how you pull that off, because most guys can't. Your skin is flawless and looks angelic next to your hair when you're in the moonlight. And have you _seen_ your body? What with your athleticism, it is perfect and chiseled and I am very jealous of it."

He was really blushing now but he didn't look convinced. "No one else noticed that stuff about me."

"Yes they do," I said. "Plenty of people noticed, you just didn't notice them noticing. Before we started dating, there was actually a group of girls, plus me, who thought you were downright adorable. Maia doesn't like anyone and she agreed that you were cute. Hell, even a few of the girls that dated Jace thought you were more attractive than him. Do you believe me now?"

Alec shrugged and didn't say anything.

"Why don't you seem to get this?" I asked him. "Did someone say something to you?"

He shook his head and finally looked up at me. "I've never been the super gorgeous one in the family," he said. "Jace and Isabelle always outshine me with their looks and then you come along, telling me that I'm beautiful and stuff. I don't believe you because you're the first person to tell me something like that. I feel like you're lying to me."

"I would never lie to you, Alec," I insisted. "Jace and Isabelle flaunt themselves around and are told how pretty they are all the time. But your beauty is different from theirs. You don't realize just how perfect you are and that makes you even better. Their personalities get in the way."

"Alright," he said. "I believe you."

"Good," I said, taking his hands in mine. "I tell you every day just how beautiful you are; you better believe me or I will get all Asian on you."

I earned a small smile from him and he nodded.

* * *

><p>The rest of the week was breezy and I still got to wear my glitter. The ignorant bunch of assholes that had shoved us that day still bothered us but Alec and I learned to ignore it and we went on with our lives. Both of us were excited for Friday to come for two reasons- Our date, and to see if we made it to Idris School for the Gifted.<p>

We had both applied for the same college a while back, but Alec was going for sports and I was going for creative writing. Izzy was taking a year off before college to tour the country and get her 'acting career up to par.' I think Simon applied to Idris for the same reason as Alec, and Jace was going to Raziel Academy on a full sports scholarship, all expenses paid. As for Clary, I didn't really know where she was going, but I had a hunch it would be Raziel.

Finally, albeit slowly, Friday rolled around and Alec and I thought about where we wanted to go, what we wanted to do, etc. His dad still wasn't talking to him and every single time I saw Mr. Lightwood I had the urge to punch him in the face and tell him he was being a horrible person. But, I didn't… for Alec's sake.

Having a dickface for a father was really taking a toll on Alec's mood. He kept getting sad whenever his dad walked by without acknowledging his existence, and I desperately hoped to take his mind off of it when I suggested we head over to Jamie's house before we went on our date so I could pick up Chairman Meow. Alec said that'd be fine, though unenthusiastically, and then stated that Chairman Meow wasn't allowed on our date with us no matter how much I begged and pleaded.

We took Alec's awesome car to her house after the few minutes it took to coax Alec into skinny jeans. Once inside her apartment, Chairman Meow bounded down the stairs and I saw his little, fluffy body run towards me. I picked him up and kissed his head, making him purr delightedly. Maybe it was just a trick of the light, but I could've sworn he glared at Jamie.

Alec and I dropped off Chairman Meow at his house, and Izzy volunteered to look after him until we got back. She seemed sort of bitter and I guessed it was because she was staying at home that night. Little did she know that Simon was planning on taking her out to her favorite Italian restaurant and then to a movie. She could thank me later.

On the other hand, Alec and I had yet to decide where we were going. I told him that the last date we had was all about me, so I let him choose everything. It was his day.

"Besides," I added. "We have to celebrate the fact that we can actually show public displays of affection now!"

He playfully nudged my arm as we got back to his car. He took the driver's seat and just started driving to… some place. I had no idea where we were going and I didn't really care. I had Alec next to me.

That was all I needed.

**A/N- Yay. Cute. I also have no idea where they're going but I guess we'll all figure it out eventually.  
>REVIEW OR NO CHAPTER 20! (I am dying to get to 234 reviews, so if you all could help me get to that, that'd be great.<br>-Ella**


	21. Sick

**A/N- Hello. This is my third attempt at chapter 20, so I hope it is at least mildly god. Pearl Earring pointed out that I needed some conflict because this had turned into 24/7 fluff montage. That's all about to end. *evil laugh*  
>Disclaimer- I own nothin.<strong>

(Alec POV)

Magnus' plan to take me out on the town that Friday night were kind of squashed when I received my congratulatory letter from Idris. My mom freaked out and decided to take us all out for dinner, including Magnus and my dad. I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that this 'family outing' would not be so enjoyable.

We took the family minivan to a quaint little Italian restaurant where a bunch of the waiters had mustaches. I would've begun to giggle like a little kid, but with my dad icily keeping his eyes off of me, it was hard to giggle.

Isabelle was bitter about the whole dinner, too. She and Simon had had date plans but she had to cancel and resort to texting him instead. He promised to take her out Saturday but she was still peeved so Magnus made the effort to cheer her up by giving her a mini-makeover. I had to admit, he did an excellent job and Izzy was decked out in tight jeans, a shirt that cinched right above her ribs, heels, and just the right amount of makeup. She tried to get him to make me up as well, but I wouldn't let them touch my face. Magnus did get me into skinny jeans though…

Actually, Jace, Isabelle, Magnus and I had all planned on going out with our significant other. Jace was blaming me for the whole thing. He wanted to go out with Clary on a 'special' date, but I assumed he just planned on getting in her pants.

Naturally, Clary and Simon both ended up being free and chose to hang out with each other, as they were good friends. Isabelle was the jealous type, and Simon going over to Clary's house was not sitting well with her. Jace was okay with it only because both Clary and Simon were reliable people. But, like I said, Isabelle was the jealous type.

As we sat down at our large booth and looked over the menu, no one spoke. Not a word was uttered by anyone and I was forced to listen to the thoughts in my head, and an annoying song being played over the restaurants speakers. My dad refused to meet my eye and just glared at Magnus. But I had no idea what Magnus did. Maybe he had said something to him?

"So Magnus," my mom said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Alec tells me you applied to the same college."

"Oh, uh, yeah I did," Magnus said, nervously looking from my father to my mother. "My English teacher recommended I go there."

Jace looked up from his phone. "The one that hates Alec?" he asked.

When I nodded, my mother tutted at us. "I'm sure she doesn't _hate_ you," she said.

All of us, minus my dad, scoffed at her.

"She hates me," I said pointedly. "Like, there is legit hate in her eyes when she looks at me. I don't know what I did, but she hates my guts."

Jace started laughing and I just looked at him. "Sorry," he said, not at all sorry. "I just remembered what she said to you today." At this, Izzy began laughing as well and Magnus was trying his damnedest not to smile.

"What did she say?" my mom asked with her eyebrow cocked.

Magnus, who was the only one that could still speak, said, "She called him an English-impaired baboon." When my mom only blinked at him he added, "She's got a British accent."

A smile crept its way onto my mom's face and I figured she was imagining that in her head. Jace's laughter was growing increasingly louder and he could barely hold himself together when our waiter came by to take our orders. I don't think it helped that the waiter had a very fake-looking mustache.

After I helped Magnus find a vegetarian-friendly dish and we all ordered, my dad looked me straight in the eye and asked to speak to me privately. He called me by my full name and I was on the verge of puking when I felt Magnus squeeze my hand, but it didn't help me much. My dad was confusing in so many ways and of all the times to ask to speak to me, he chooses to wait until we were eating dinner in a public place? Where is the logic in that?

I slowly left the booth and followed my father to the men's' restroom but halfway there my dad stopped and went to the van instead. He sat down in the driver's seat and I sat next to him. My throat felt sticky and I couldn't speak.

"Alexander," he began. I tried to slow my breathing when he said something I did not see coming. "I'm sorry."

I cleared my throat. "You're sorry?" I asked.

"I haven't been a very exceptional father to you lately," he continued. "You just sprung this whole thing on me, with Magnus and you being… what you are." I sighed when he couldn't say 'gay.' But I figured it would take a while. "And it's taken me some time to adjust to this." No kidding. "I just… don't know why it took you so long to tell us. You're almost a full-grown man and I don't understand what happened. Did… did Magnus turn you like this?"

It amazes and befuddles me how an adult could be so ignorant.

I struggled to get words out of my mouth. "No," I said. "No, I've always been gay I just didn't realize it until Magnus came along. I was born this way, dad," I said.

My dad said nothing, but he looked like he was thinking the whole thing over.

"You and Magnus," he said eventually. "Are you two… together?"

"Yes, dad," I said slowly. "We're dating."

He nodded and I could tell he was uncomfortable. "Magnus is good to you?" he asked.

"Yes, of course," I said firmly, surprising him.

"And he makes you happy?" I nodded and he gave me one of the tiniest smiles on the planet, but it was a smile nonetheless. "I'm glad you found someone," he said. "Again, I'm sorry."

"I understand," I told him. I think he was going to try to give me a hug or a pat on the back or something but he only smiled again and got out of the car. I did the same and we were back at the booth right before our food got there.

I sat down next to Magnus and he gripped my hand. "What happened?" he muttered.

"I'll tell you later," I said, smiling. "But it's good."

He smiled back at me and dug into some weird, vegetarian dish with no vowels in its name. Magnus claimed it was good but I declined trying any. My throat still felt sticky and my stomach wasn't feeling too good either, but I enjoyed dinner anyways and felt like a new weight was lifted off my shoulders. One that I hadn't really known was there until it was gone.

* * *

><p>About two hours later, we were all back at my house, full and sleepy. Everyone went straight to bed, Magnus and I being no exceptions. It sucked not sleeping next to him anymore but I didn't want my parents to freak so I had to deal with it.<p>

Surprisingly, we didn't fall asleep right away and ended up talking until nearly midnight. There wasn't so much talking going on though. After I had told him what my dad said he wouldn't stop smiling… or kissing me.

Eventually we did sleep, in separate beds of course. We switched off every night- one day Magnus would sleep in my bed and I'd take the floor, then the next day we'd switch and so on. It was a little system that we worked out because Magnus felt bad making me sleep on the floor.

Sleep didn't exactly last long for me. I was having an awesome dream that was so rudely interrupted by a nauseous feeling in my stomach. I awoke suddenly and barely made it to the toilet before I vomited up everything I had eaten that night. And trust me, it didn't taste very good coming back up.

I was sick and disoriented, but I still felt someone rubbing soothing circles on my back. It was Magnus, the best boyfriend ever.

I stopped puking and sat against the shower door, looking drowsily at Magnus. He looked back at me with a concerned expression and asked if I wanted him to go get my mom. I felt like a three year old when I nodded, but everyone wants their mom when they're sick, so Magnus hopped up and went to my parents' room.

I threw up again before Magnus got back with my mom and a thermometer. I was slumped against the shower when my mom forced my mouth open and stuck the thermometer inside it. Magnus held my hand and I put my head on his shoulder as we waited for it to beep. My mom, being her awesome self, went and got me some ginger ale then sat down on the linoleum floor with me and Magnus.

Usually I can deal with being sick. I could be sneezing, coughing, wheezing, achy, congested, have a huge headache, hell I could have pneumonia and be just fine, but puking… puking was my weakness. It was just something I could not deal with. It was awful, just awful. It seems babyish, yes, but it's not my fault throwing up is gross.

The thermometer beeped and my mom gently pulled it out to read the number. "102," she muttered as she pushed the hair from my hot forehead. "Poor thing," she said. I only sipped at my ginger ale and swallowed the bile in my throat. "I don't think its food poisoning," she said, mostly to herself. "I got the same thing as you." She sighed and turned to Magnus. "Magnus, can I trust you to look after him if I go back to sleep?" He nodded. "Alright, I'll make an appointment for you tomorrow morning, okay?" she said to me. I nodded and she kissed my forehead then got up to leave. "You have my permission to sleep in the same bed tonight but only because I know nothing will happen." Then she was gone, lucky to have the luxury of sleep.

Even though I told him I could walk the few yards to my room just fine, Magnus carried me back to my actual bed and gently set me down against the soft pillows. He went back to grab my ginger ale and put it on the table next to me, then he brought over the trash can and put it on my lap.

Crawling under the covers and getting comfortable next to me, Magnus said, "I guess we're not going out tomorrow."

I put my head on his shoulder and sighed, trying to wish away the nausea. "I'm sorry," I muttered.

He stroked my damp hair. "It's alright," he said. "We'll go out next weekend. You can't exactly control your puking."

I felt the nausea get stronger and I shook my head. "Don't say puking," I said into his shoulder. "If you say it, I'm gonna do it."

"Noted."

Magnus kissed my forehead and stayed right next to me for the rest of the night, even when I threw up three more times. He told me funny stories about his mom to keep me distracted, but laughing made my stomach flip-flop around so he docked my IPod and played My Chemical Romance instead. He made sure to keep the volume low enough so that I could still fall asleep if I wanted to. I noticed that he was singing along to a few of the songs very quietly, but I could still hear him… Magnus had a nice voice; soothing even. I fell asleep to it.

* * *

><p>(Magnus POV)<p>

Alec finally fell asleep at about three AM. I fell asleep right next to him, though it was a little uncomfortable because his fever was really high. I woke up a half hour earlier than him and went downstairs to find his mom. She was at the kitchen table and smiled at me when I walked in. Maryse (she made me call her that) said that Alec had an appointment in an hour and I should go wake him up for her. I grabbed an apple and gingerly climbed the stairs again, reaching Alec's room without getting lost.

Alec was up alright. Awake and puking again. I felt bad for him because I knew how much Alec hated throwing up.

He finished vomiting and sighed, looking up at me. He almost smiled but his face was too pale to make him seem actually happy.

"Hey," I said quietly, walking over to him and sitting on the bed next to my sick little, blue-eyed boyfriend. "You've got an appointment in an hour." I held up the apple and he eyed it skeptically. "You should eat something."

He took the apple and sat back against the headboard. "I won't be able to eat this," he said to me. "I haven't even been able to keep down water…"

"Aw," I cooed, kissing him on the cheek. "Want some gum? I think I've got wild berry." That was his favorite. He nodded and I pulled my wallet from my back pocket and rifled through a few things- a bunch of one-dollar bills, my declined credit card, a picture of my mom and dad together, a picture of Alec, and finally a pack of wild berry gum. I handed Alec a piece and took one for myself.

Alec blew an expertly blown bubble. It popped and he just chewed his gum again then raised his eyebrow at me. "Why do you have your wallet with you?" he asked me.

"I have to run to my house and pick up the mail and then get Chairman Meow," I said. "Sorry I can't come to your doctor's appointment."

Alec shrugged. "It's no big deal," he said. "He's probably going to make me take my pants off like he always does and that'd just be awkward with both you and my mom in the room. And when I say he always makes me take my pants off, I mean _always_. Even when I had pink-eye."

I tried not to laugh for Alec's sake, but a little giggle escaped. I pecked him on the lips and said goodbye. He told me to take his car and I didn't deny that opportunity, so I arrived at my house ten minutes later, and I totally didn't speed or anything…

I made double sure to lock Alec's car and I immediately noticed the pile of mail on the doorstep. I sighed and picked it all up, unlocking the door at the same time. I slammed my keys down on the coffee table and looked around. The apartment reminded me of so many things and I wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

The mail was mostly bills and I flipped through it quickly- I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry for your loss, your dad owes me money, bills, bills, bills, I'm sorry for your loss, Congratulations from Idris, bills.

I stopped suddenly and flipped back an envelope. Yes, it was there. I had gotten in to Idris! I felt the need to celebrate and tell someone all about it, but who was there? I could always tell Jamie, I had to run to her house to get Chairman Meow anyways.

I hurriedly gathered the rest of the mail and stuffed it in Alec's car, then drove off towards Jamie's house. Knocking on the door (quite loudly, I might add) I got the acceptance letter ready and just waited. Jamie answered the door a minute later and smiled when she saw me. She told me to come on in and I followed her to the living room. Chairman Meow was already waiting on the couch for me and he bounded into my arms, purring happily.

"How's he been?" I asked Jamie as I sat down on the couch.

She grimaced and tried to turn it into a smile. "He doesn't like me much," she said. "He tried to claw my face off."

I only chuckled at her and scolded Chairman Meow for being a lady-hater.

"So, guess who got accepted into Idris?" I said slyly.

Jamie's eyebrows threatened to disappear into her hairline and she beamed at me. "Congratulations!" she said. "I heard Alec got in, too." I nodded. "How are you two doing?"

"Fantastic," was my answer. "He's sick though. Got the stomach flu or something."

She visibly shuddered. "Poor thing," she said. She eyed the clock and nearly jumped out of her skin. "I hate to leave so quickly," she said. "But I've got to run to the hospital. I'm on call tonight."

Jamie quickly said goodbye to me, and Chairman Meow actually did try to claw her face off. I love him, but Jamie did not deserve to have her face clawed off.

* * *

><p>I arrived back at Alec's house a little while later but he wasn't back from his appointment yet. I lazed around until he got home and he had the stomach flu. His doctor had made him take off his pants (insert blushing Alec here) and gave him antibiotics. Depending on how he was feeling, he would go back to school on Monday. But he was still violently puking every hour so I doubted he would go back to school anytime soon.<p>

I was right. By Monday, Alec was throwing up a lot less, but his mother wouldn't let him go to school and I had to endure the whole day without him. I hadn't even been with him that long and I felt like I couldn't function without him.

Nothing particularly interesting happened, but William kept trying to talk to me and I had to keep avoiding him. I swear that kid was stalking me, but I had no idea why. Everywhere I turned, there he was, looking all creepy with his weird British accent and devilish smile. Thankfully, we didn't have a lot of classes together and I didn't see him for most of the day. It wasn't until I was at my locker that I saw him.

Alec was supposed to come by the school at three to pick up one of the textbooks he needed for homework and he had told me that morning that he would give me a ride. I purposely missed my bus so he could drive me home. I knew William drove himself home as well, but I was surprised when I slammed my locker and found him standing much too close to me.

"Hello Magnus," he said snidely. I only nodded in response. "Where's your friend Alex?"

I sneered at him, slightly making fun of him, too. "His name is _Alec_," I corrected. "And he's got the flu."

William shook his head. "What a shame," he said. "I sure hope he gets better." He said that in a way that was still 'I hope he gets better' but it sounded like he meant 'I hope he dies painfully.' That worried me.

"He should be back by tomorrow or Wednesday," I said cautiously. "Actually, he'll be here in a few minutes to get his textbooks."

"Oh?" William said. "Then I have a moment to talk to you… privately."

The hallway was private enough for him. There was no one in hearing range of us and we were right near the front doors, which I looked anxiously to for any signs of Alec.

William took a step closer to me and I tried to back up but I hit the lockers behind me. I swallowed thickly and tried not to appear scared of him. He was six inches shorter than me; what did I have to be scared of?

"I want you back, Magnus," he said convincingly.

I scoffed in his face. "You're a bit too late, William," I said. "If you didn't notice, I have a boyfriend."

"That doesn't mean we can't try again," he said. "You could leave that poor lad, Alec…"

"I would never leave Alec," I said coldly. "He's the best thing that's ever happened t-"

William cut me off by slamming his lips to mine in what I guess he believed to be a kiss. It didn't feel like a kiss to me. It felt like his lips were suffocating mine. It didn't feel like the kisses Alec gave me; his kisses were always sweet and full of love. Whatever William was doing felt so, so wrong. Even when we were dating, he kissed me in a weird way. We weren't meant for each other, no matter how much he thought we were.

I shoved him away from me and raised my hand to slap him in the face. But something stopped me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone gasp. I turned immediately and saw Alec standing by the front doors. And he was staring at me with the most crushed expression on his face. He turned on his heel and walked back through the doors with his textbook in his hand. I called his name and tried to run after him, but he was gone before I could explain myself; had disappeared with that horrible look on his face.

**A/N- I told ya there'd be conflict. Now review or ALEC WILL DIE! Nahhh, just kiddin. But if you don't review, William will eat you. Eeeaaaaat yyyoooouuuu….  
>-Ella 8-) <strong>


	22. Sad

**A/N- I'm back. I loved your reviews. This is chapter 21. You're welcome.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing.<strong>

(Alec POV)

I felt my heart speed up and could hear it beating in my ears when I saw Magnus kissing William like that. In retrospect, he did push him away before he saw me, but I was angry and sick and couldn't believe what I was seeing, so I walked away without a word and didn't bother to turn around. Even when Magnus called out my name I kept my gaze forward and just kept walking to where I thought my car might be.

My feet had already carried me to the end of the front steps when I felt someone tug at my wrist. Whoever it was spun me around so I faced them. It was Magnus, looking confused and sad.

"Alec," he said. I twisted my wrist out of his grasp and just stared at him. My head was swimming from walking around so fast and I felt my lunch threatening to come back up. "It wasn't what it looked like."

I swallowed and looked at him. "That's so cliché, Magnus. Come up with a better lie."

I turned to walk away but he caught me again, this time by my shoulders. "Just let me explain," he began.

"No," I tried to say, but the feeling of bile filled up my throat and had to lean over a nearby bush so I could vomit again. It didn't last long and was only the second time that day, but it still sucked. It ended and I stood straight up again, wiping my mouth.

Magnus took a step towards me but I backed up. "Please," he almost whispered. "Would you just listen to me?" I shook my head and tried to walk away but faltered when dizziness clouded up my mind. That stomach flu was lasting longer than I had thought. "Alexander," Magnus said, keeping me steady. "Listen." He brought me closer so he could look me in the eye. "Let me tell you what happened when we drive home, okay? I'll tell you everything."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Take the bus," I spat at him. Then I turned away, walked straight to the car, unlocked it, and drove off without even gazing in his direction. I'm not going to lie, I started crying on my way home. I was having a bad enough time with being sick, but then my boyfriend, who claimed he loved me, had to go and kiss another guy? How could he do that to me? I thought he and William hated each other. I did love Magnus with all my heart; I just didn't understand what was going on.

By the time I got through traffic and arrived at my house, Magnus was already there, waiting for me in my room. He moved towards me as soon as I walked in, but I just stood there and tried to leave again. Magnus isn't one to give up, so he kept turning me back around and trying to talk to me. He was stronger than he seemed… I think he got tired of trying to talk to me because after five minutes of turning me around he just shoved me against the wall and forcefully kissed me. I tried to push him away, but his kisses made my brain and all of my other body parts stop working.

He pulled away and desperately started talking before I even got the chance to open my mouth. "That's what he did," Magnus said. "He pushed me against the lockers and made me kiss him. Just like this. Only I pushed him away and you just saw the kissing part. I'm telling you, Alec. I would _never_ do that to you, especially not with William of all people. Alexander, I love you. You need to understand that I-"

I held up my hand, cutting him off. "It's okay," I told him. "I get it, but I hope you realize that William is going to die a very slow and painful death if he ever touches you again."

Magnus let out a relieved sigh and smiled. "You nearly gave me a heart attack," he said. "I will definitely _speak_ to William tomorrow." He kissed me and just like that we were back to normal.

We're that kind of couple that doesn't let the bad things (or bad creepers) in life get to us. Even though he had made it quite clear that what happened between him and William was completely one-sided, Magnus stayed by my side the rest of the day and only left when he had to get more vegetables for dinner. I would've gone with him, but I was getting queasy again and decided to stay in.

Isabelle, being her nosey self, asked me again and again what had happened. I finally cracked and just told her so she would shut up. It was just as amusing to her as a reality show but I didn't particularly enjoy talking about that man-whore William. Izzy had come up with the whole man-whore thing and I thought it fit him perfectly… especially if you add 'British' to the beginning of it.

We heard the door unlock from our positions on the couch, and Magnus announced with great pleasure that he was home and our lives could commence. Isabelle grinned and went back up to her room, saying she had homework to do.

"Hello, beautiful," Magnus said as he walked into the living room. He had three Wal-Mart bags and my guess was that only one of them held food items. "Guess what I bought?" he sang.

I shrugged my shoulders and moved off the couch so I could kiss him. "Food, I hope."

He set one of the plastic bags in the kitchen and nodded. "Somewhat," he said. "But I found something a lot better than food." Magnus reached into one of the bags and pulled out a tube if very white glitter. It almost looked clear.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"_Glow-in-the-dark glitter!_" he exclaimed. Before I could say anything, he reached back into the bag again and got something else. "Look," he said. I leaned over and saw a small picture frame in his hands. It was black but had light green sparkles all over it. "It reminded me of us so I bought it. We'll find a picture for it eventually." His hand went back into the bag and from it emerged a small piece of cardboard with one earring attached to it. It didn't quite look like an earring to me though.

"What's that for?" I asked him.

"My bellybutton," he said.

My eyes went wide. "You have a bellybutton piercing?" I asked incredulously.

He grinned and nodded, lifting up his shirt. "See?" I did see. There was a little diamond stud in his bellybutton. And it was ridiculously sexy.

"I didn't notice that," I told him, trying not to stare at his tanned, toned stomach. "I suppose you've got a tattoo as well?" I asked jokingly.

I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped open when he nodded and turned around, lifting his shirt again. On his lower back, there was a tattoo of his last name written in calligraphy. There were several music notes floating around it, too. He tugged his shirt back down and grabbed something from the bag again, getting right on task.

"How many things did you buy?" I asked.

He thought and then shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "I lost all control when I saw that glitter." In his hand was a bright blue eyeliner pencil. I just shook my head at him.

Magnus ended up dumping the contents of the two bags onto the coffee table and showing me everything. I couldn't believe some of the things he had bought: about seven huge rings, a toe-ring, a new bedazzle kit for his phone, a collar for Chairman Meow, an MCR t-shirt for Chairman Meow (I had no idea how he found that at Wal-Mart), black nail polish that he kept trying to get me to put on, big, jeweled sunglasses, and a collection of Disney movies.

I held up the mini shirt for Chairman Meow. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Why not?" He snatched the shirt from me and called over Chairman Meow. "He needs to show his loyalty to both me, and MCR."

I sighed and leaned against the couch, shaking my head.

Magnus wrestled the shirt onto Chairman Meow and held him up in triumph. The shirt was far too small for his fluffy body, and he looked like he was about to claw Magnus' face to shreds. I started cracking up because the whole idea was ridiculous. Magnus frowned at my laughter and turned back to Chairman Meow who had gotten the shirt over his head. It got stuck there, covering his eyes, and the poor cat started walking around blindly, running into the coffee table numerous times. I took pity on Chairman Meow and lifted the shirt off for him. He snuggled next to me on the couch and refused to look at Magnus.

"Thanks a lot, Alec," Magnus said. "Now he hates me."

"It's your fault," I laughed. "He probably won't let you near him with that collar."

Magnus rolled his eyes and began putting away all of the things he had bought. He walked toward the kitchen, glaring at his now purring cat. "I'm going to go make you dinner like the good boyfriend I am. You're welcome," he said.

"Thank you," I called back to him.

Magnus must've gotten enough food, because he whipped up everyone's dinner in about 30 minutes. Me, my mom and dad, Jace, Izzy and Max all sat down around the table to eat whatever meatless meal Magnus had made.

I helped him hand out the dishes to everyone, and it smelled _amazing_. I asked him what it was and he said it was vegetarian lasagna. I found it hard to believe that there was no meat in it, but I wasn't complaining. I told him beforehand to watch the PDA when Max was around. Max was too young to know much about sexuality and I didn't want him asking awkward questions if he saw Magnus and I kissing or something. Magnus was totally content with that.

"It's not like I'm gonna start sucking your face off with your 9-year-old brother trying to eat dinner," he said flippantly.

I raised my eyebrow, hoping he didn't start sucking my face off period.

Dinner wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. Both my parents (plus Jace) were okay with my relationship with Magnus and my dad only stared him down for a second or two before complimenting his cooking skills.

The lasagna was really good and I didn't know where Magnus learned to cook like that. Even though it didn't have meat I was eating the lasagna gratefully, but kept a limit on how much I ate for fear of it coming back up later. Something that good deserved to stay in my stomach.

Magnus and I held hands underneath the table after we had both finished earlier than everyone else. I kind of sat back and enjoyed the feeling of not throwing up for a while. I asked my mom if I could go to school the next day and she said it depended on how I was feeling in the morning. I took that as a yes.

When we had all finished my mother called Izzy over for dish duty, and I volunteered to help her with it but Magnus wanted to talk to me about something. I followed him up to my room and we sat on my bed like always.

"If it's about William, I'm going to tell you again that I'm not mad," I said. "It's not your fault that he's a British man-whore and you're really hot."

He barely gave me a chuckle and didn't even comment on how gorgeous he was, so I knew something was wrong. I felt my smile melt away and my heart speed up as I asked him what the problem was.

He fiddled with one of his bracelets and flipped the hair out of his face. "You know how you said that if I ever felt like I needed to do… _that _again then I should come and talk to you?" I nodded. "Well, I uh..."

"Did you?" I asked suddenly, grabbing his wrists.

He pulled them back from me and shook his head. "No," he said. "But I felt like I needed to. I didn't because I remembered what you told me."

I felt awful knowing that he was in pain and I couldn't do anything about it. No matter what I told him, he would keep feeling the way he did.

"What happened that made you want to do that again?" I asked him seriously. "Was it something I did?"

He shook his head a few times. "No, no," he assured me. "It wasn't anything you did. I got to thinking about my parents and I found this picture of them together in my wallet. It… it reminded me of some things we had done together as a family and I had another dream and it's just…" he paused and swallowed. "It's just hard to deal with."

I looked up into his eyes and saw the pain in them. His beautiful eyes held so much pain, they made my heart ache.

"I know, and I'm so sorry all this has to happen to you," I said. I put my hands on his crossed knees and sighed. Tears were swimming in those green irises. "You can cry if you want."

Magnus took a shuddering breath and the tears fell, leaving little trails of black eyeliner behind. I wiped them away and brought Magnus closer to me. He uncrossed his legs and crumpled in to me, putting his head on my chest. I stroked his hair and kissed his forehead, giving up on trying to sweep away all of the tears.

"I hate seeing you like this," I muttered. "Mostly because you don't deserve it and I can't do anything to help you. You seemed like you were doing so much better, too."

"I don't know what to do," Magnus said quietly. "It's like one step forward and two steps back. I want this feeling to go away."

"What feeling?"

"The feeling that I'll always be alone no matter what I do," he said, getting quieter with every word. "And I know you're here for me, but I miss my parents more than anything in the world. I just want them back." His voice cracked on the last word and his crying got harder. I pulled him closer to me and made sure my arms didn't leave his waist.

Magnus reminded me of a child who can't find his mother or father. All he wants is to be with his parents and feel safe in their arms. I didn't take pity on him, but I cared for him instead. If his parents couldn't be there then I would have to be.

"Alexander," I heard Magnus say through his tears. "Thank you. For being here. I'm sure anyone else wouldn't care enough." He sat up and wiped away his tears, then looked at the back of his hand. It was smeared with eyeliner. "Damn it," he said. "Stupid makeup."

I handed him a tissue from the box near my bed. He took it and gave me a small smile, using it to wipe up the excess eyeliner.

"Does talking about it make you feel any better?" I asked him quietly. "It seems like it only makes you cry."

Magnus wiped his eyes a little more and nodded. "It's better than bottling it all up," he said. "It's better than cutting myself…"

"Do you think you'll ever stop?"

He went silent for a second and tossed the tissue in my garbage can. Shrugging he said, "I don't know, Alec. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. It all depends on how long it takes me to get over all this. Then again, I don't think this is something I can get over."

I bit my lip and looked at his disheveled form. Even with red eyes and tear streaks down his face, he was _still_ beautiful. How did he do that?

"Magnus," I said. "You know I love you, right?"

A barely-there smile showed up on his face, but it was one of those sad, forlorn smiles that made his face darken. "I know," he said. "I love you, too. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even when we were just friends I knew you were special." I smiled at that. "Without my parents, I think you're the last person keeping me on this earth."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I think I would've died along with my parents a while ago if there wasn't someone here with me," he said. "Whether it would have been on purpose or not, I don't know."

I swallowed. "Don't say stuff like that," I told him. "I can't stand the thought of losing you."

"Yes, well," he started. "I'm glad _someone_ cares." His tear tracks were gone by then, but his eyes were still a little red. He kissed me and sighed against my lips then got off my bed and walked to the bathroom. I decided to follow him just in case, and found him taking off the rest of his eyeliner. I sat on the counter next to where he was standing and just watched him, trying to find the happy teenager that was inside him just the month before. All I saw was a boy who lost his parents and had to grow up too fast. He wasn't himself… and I didn't like that.

"What?" Magnus asked when he realized I was staring at him.

"You're not how you used to be," I said as he wetted a washcloth and wiped his face off. "You're not happy."

"No," he said sadly. "I'm not happy but I sure had some happy moments. I'll be fine, babe."

"I'm worried about you, Magnus," I said. "I don't want you to be like this. You deserve to be so much happier than you are right now."

He only lifted his gaze to meet mine and shook his head. "Really, I won't get over it but I will be okay. I have you," he said. "I just need some time is all."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

I sighed. "If I see another scar anywhere on you, I'm going to freak out and I will tell my mom," I said seriously. "Knowing you purposely hurt yourself kills me."

His eyes left mine and he frowned. "I know," he said. "That's why I didn't do it and talked to you instead. I appreciate your concern, though." He took my hand and I hopped off the counter and back to my room with him.

Magnus wasn't happy and that made me unhappy. It was my job as not just his boyfriend, but his best friend as well, to make sure he got happier.

If that meant I had to wear black nail polish then so be it.

**A/N- Whoa, what was with the sadness in this chapter? Weird…  
>HEY YOU SHOULD REVIEW, LIKE RIGHT NOW!<br>^L^ sorry. I'm a review whore, as proved in many of my other notes.  
>I can't change who I am.<br>-Ella :P**


	23. Again

**A/N- oh my I loved all of your reviews, even though that last chapter was oddly angsty… So yeah, here's chapter 22! Hurray…! BTW- It's like midnight and I'm up in my bed, with a sheet fort (thanks for the idea Dr. Blind) holding my beagle hostage so I'm not lonely 8-) Teehee…  
>Disclaimer- nothing at all is owned by me. Nothing, I tell you. NOTHING!<strong>

(Alec POV [because I feel like writing in his POV, okay?])

Tuesday morning, I woke up at 5:30 to a weird noise. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, yawning as well. After the slight nausea and blurry vision passed, I saw Magnus standing up by the side of my bed, stretching out his long limbs. Magnus had actually woken up _before_ me. Huh.

"You're up early," I said through another yawn.

My comment seemed to startle him a little and he turned around to face me, his eyebrows rising in surprise. "Oh, yeah," he said slowly. "I uh… couldn't sleep." His eyes were just red enough that I noticed it.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, its fine," he insisted. "Just simple insomnia."

"Why don't you go take a shower since you were up first?" I suggested instead. "I'm not even fully awake and I'm pretty sure I'll slip, fall, and break something if I try to shower right now."

He cracked a smile and grabbed his clothes from his bag on the floor. "Wouldn't want that," he muttered on his way to the bathroom.

Once he had left, I lay back down on my bed and only breathed until my stomach calmed down. I wasn't sure if I could handle the entire school day without throwing up again, but I promised myself I would go… for Magnus.

He didn't take very long with his shower/makeup routine, and was out of the bathroom by a quarter till six. There wasn't much makeup on him, just some black eyeliner and little hints of glow in the dark glitter. I could barely see it in the dim light of my room, but it looked really cool. He had left his hair down, too. I loved his hair.

"Your turn," he said, tossing something at me. I caught whatever it was and unfolded it. It was a pair of dark, boot cut jeans. I held them up and he nodded. "You're wearing those or I will throw a bitch fit. " I did not at all want a bitchy Magnus on my hands, so I nodded and he grinned back at me.

I was very content with myself as I exited the bathroom, as I had not fallen or broken anything.

Magnus noticed my smile and raised his eyebrows at me. "Have a good shower?" he asked. I didn't answer as I saw him holding a small bottle of black nail polish.

Five minutes later, I was admiring my newly painted black nails. Magnus hadn't gotten one drop of nail polish on my skin and I was very grateful for that. Getting my nails painted was actually kind of fun, and they went with my outfit for that day.

Jeez, I just sounded like Magnus… He was rubbing off on me.

Not too long later, we were all downstairs and eating breakfast. Surprisingly, Jace was on time and wasn't running around looking for clean underwear.

Jace inclined his head toward my fingers. "Nice nails, Alec," he joked.

I only blushed and grabbed my backpack for school. My nausea got worse every time I stood up and I prayed to everything that Coach Thompson wouldn't make us run in gym.

* * *

><p>My day was filled with a pounding headache, review worksheets for exams later in the week, and lots of dizziness. Once sixth period gym rolled around, I was thinking about driving on home but then Magnus would have to ride with Jace and Isabelle, so I stayed at school.<p>

I guess the universe hated me that day, because Coach Thompson made us jog around in circles for the first ten minutes of class. We got one minute breaks for every three minutes we ran. Usually, jogging around for ten minutes was a piece of cake for me. But if you add queasiness and thoughts about Magnus into the mix, you get me asking to stop early and sitting against the bleachers with my head in between my knees.

Even though he wasn't supposed to, Magnus stopped jogging as well and walked over to sit next to me. He rubbed my back and asked me if I wanted to head home, but I said no. It really wasn't a good idea for me to miss too much school with testing on Thursday and Friday. And, again, Magnus needed me with him.

We played dodge ball for the rest of the period and I purposely got out like six times just so I could sit on the bleachers and try not to throw up. Going to school wasn't a very good idea on my part.

I did not puke (which I was very happy about) and Magnus walked with me to the cafeteria. We sat at our normal table with Jace, Izzy, Simon, and Clary. My stomach still felt like the ocean during a hurricane so I just put my head on my arms and groaned.

"I never want to eat anything ever again," I muttered.

"Aw," I heard Magnus say. "My poor baby…"

"Ew," Jace said. I thought he was referring to Magnus' cooing but when I lifted my head up I saw William waving to Magnus from his table. Everyone at our table glared daggers at him; I had told them what happened and that he was a British man-whore. William ducked his head and turned around.

A sudden jolt of nausea coursed through my stomach and I stood up suddenly. "Excuse me," I said. "I have to go throw up." I half-ran to the bathroom and made it to a toilet in the nick of time. Ugh.

* * *

><p>When we all got home, I was hot and queasy and swamped with homework. Of course, it was English homework and I had no knowledge of anything about English, so Magnus helped me with it. Well, actually, he kind of did it for me. But he wasn't complaining; he <em>liked <em>English.

Magnus and I went up to my room and I immediately went to my bed, collapsing on top of it. My stomach rumbled in response and I groaned.

Magnus sat down beside me and affectionately rubbed my back. "Still feeling sick?" he asked me. I nodded. "Anything I can do to make you feel better?"

I rolled over so I could face him. "Can you get me some ginger ale?" I asked him. "And like six Tylenols?"

He grinned and nodded, kissing my cheek before he left.

In the small span of time he was gone, I threw up twice. I had to run to the bathroom and lean over the toilet again. Never in my life had I gotten a stomach flu that lasted more than two days so I figured something else was wrong and was about to go ask my mom to make another doctor's appointment when something on the counter stopped me- it was a pair of silver scissors… the same ones I had thrown away a few days before. Only this time they were covered in blood.

I exited the bathroom, scissors in hand, and nearly ran into Magnus.

He managed to save my ginger ale but dropped the Tylenol on the floor. Bending to pick them up, he said, "There you are." He stood up straight again and set everything on my bedside table.

"Why were these on the bathroom counter?" I asked him, holding out the scissors.

He frowned at the scissors and didn't say anything; only opened and closed his mouth a few times.

Putting down the scissors, I walked over to him and looked straight into his eyes. "Let me see your wrists," I demanded. He shook his head but I grabbed them anyways. There were three new scars- two on his left and one on his right, making it an even five on both sides. "Magnus!" I exclaimed. "When did you do this?"

He didn't even look at me when he said "This morning…"

"_What_?" I said. "Why didn't you talk to me like you did yesterday?"

Shrugging, he said, "I don't know. You were tired and sick and I… I didn't want to bother you."

"Bother me?" I repeated. "Magnus, even if I were incoherent, dying, or _already dead_ I wouldn't be bothered if you needed to talk to me about something like this!" My knuckles were white around his wrists and my head was swimming, but I stood my ground and made him meet my gaze.

His eyes filled with concern when he saw my face, and I guess I looked pretty bad because he walked me over to my bed and made me sit down. I wasn't giving up though.

"You promised me you would stop, Magnus," I said quietly.

He sat next to me and sighed. "I know," he said. "I can't just _stop._"

We were both silent for a minute before I spoke up. "I'm going to have to tell my parents."

"No," he almost whispered. "No, please don't tell them."

And he sounded so scared my eyes started watering. I didn't _want_ to tell my parents; I felt like that would only make it worse for Magnus, but I was afraid he wouldn't stop harming himself unless I did something to help him. I had already tried talking to him and throwing away those stupid scissors, but that didn't seem to work at all. He had been doing so much better and I didn't know what brought him to cut himself three more times.

"Why?" I asked him suddenly. "Why did you do it this morning?"

"I don't know," he muttered.

"Yes you do," I insisted. "You didn't just cut yourself for no good reason, did you?"

Shaking his head, Magnus said, "I had another nightmare about them. It was the same one as before, only it seemed worse."

"We're telling my mom about this as soon as she gets home," I said.

"Alexander-"

"Magnus you need help," I stated matter-of-factly. I was openly crying at that point, crying for Magnus. "I'm so worried about you all the time. Every single day I'm afraid you're going to do something worse, I'm afraid you're going to…" I trailed off, unsure of what I was about to say.

"To what?" Magnus asked when I didn't finish.

"I'm afraid you're going to try and kill yourself. And I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Well, I haven't tried," he said, wiping away tears of his own. "But it has popped into my mind more times than necessary."

Just then, my mom called up to the kids from downstairs, announcing that she was home. I took Magnus' hand and pretty much dragged him down the stairs with me, having to turn him around the few times he escaped my grasp.

"Mom," I said as we reached the kitchen. "Magnus has something he needs to tell you." I pushed Magnus forward but he didn't say anything, not a peep. I looked at him like 'Use your words.'

My mom raised her eyebrow. "Sweetie what is it?" she asked.

"He has a problem," I said vaguely.

She made a face at me. "What kind of problem?" she asked. "A boy problem? A girl problem? A glitter problem? You've got to be more specific."

"A cutting problem."

Her expression didn't change, but her eyes did when it finally clicked for her. She didn't even say anything, she didn't have too. Her arms were wide open and Magnus gratefully moved into her embrace, making a noise that could be described as nothing but pitiful. My mother had treated him like her own son since they met, and the loss of his parents had only made that stronger.

She pulled back and held Magnus at arm's length. "Magnus," she said kindly, seating him down on the couch. "I want you to tell me all about this. Don't leave anything out, because I'll just find out about it later. Help me understand what's going on." She and I joined him on the couch and I took his hand.

It took some time, but Magnus explained everything to my mother, even some things I didn't know. Like how neither one of his parents knew about his problem, or how he used anything around him to cut himself. He told my mom and me that he actually broke a plate once and used one of the glass shards. All of this happened in the time that I knew him, and I didn't notice it. I felt like a horrible friend, not knowing that about him. I was also a bit hurt that he wouldn't tell me. Maybe it was because he had a crush on me and didn't want me to think he was a freak or something, but I would never think he was a freak. I guess it took him a while to figure that out.

When he was finished, all three of us were crying and I think he almost broke my fingers, but I hardly acknowledged it.

"Magnus, I hate saying this," my mom began, wiping away her tears. "But maybe you should see a psychiatrist."

"No disrespect Maryse, but I don't exactly want to tell a complete stranger about my problems," Magnus said.

A loud crash was heard from upstairs then a male voice cursed and Jace's voice called down to us. "Mom!" he shouted. "The toilet's clogged."

My mom rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. "Well, unclog it!" she shouted back.

"No! There's shit in there!"

"Jace watch your language!" She sighed and turned to Magnus. "We'll talk about this later, okay sweetie? I have to go help Jace with his shit." She hugged him tightly and stood up.

"MOM!" Jace shouted again.

"I'm _coming_!" she called back. There was a quick mom-smile from her and then she was gone.

"Your mom is awesome," Magnus said randomly. "I thought she'd be mad."

"I didn't."

* * *

><p>(Maryse POV) (Oh yes, it's her. Why? Because she's awesome, that's why.)<p>

After I unclogged the toilet because my son is far too lazy to do it himself, I went downstairs again so I could talk to Magnus. His story was rather shocking to me; he always seemed like such a happy kid and it was hard to imagine him being depressed. Then again, it was hard to imagine him dating Alec but opposites attract, I guess…

Neither Magnus nor Alec was downstairs so I checked Alec's room instead. Sure enough, they were there but they were both asleep. In the same bed. Fortunately, they were also fully clothed so I just let them be and looked the other way. Alec was still vomiting every hour so I knew nothing would happen, not with everyone in the house. I trusted Alec; he was a good kid. Now, if it were Jace and Clary... Let's just say she wouldn't be allowed over for a few days.

I closed the door behind me, the image of Magnus' long arms around my eldest son still in my mind. I had to admit, they were pretty cute together. And you could tell they loved each other, too. The way Alec looked at him gave it away. I'd known he was gay for a long time. He'd never looked at a girl like that before.

I decided to talk to Magnus later, possibly after supper. He obviously wanted to be with Alec for the time being, and who am I to interrupt that? They made each other happy and that was good enough for me.

**A/N- There ya have it. You all got a whole four paragraphs in Maryse's point of view. That means you should review like there's no tomorrow, which there might not be because I'm suffering from a horrible case of writer's block! Oh joy! -_- *sarcasm* Please review. I'm almost begging here. I could use an ego boost…  
>-Ella :'( <strong>


	24. Happy

**A/N- Hi! I loved all of your reviews, thanks, I love all of you for being so **_**freaking**_** awesome, etc. So very sorry for the lack of updating. Like I said before, writer's block is a bitch. And then Misery Loves Glamour updated so I had to read that. :P Ha, yeah, I am such a fangirl. OH! Before I forget, I wanted to say thank you to a few readers who PMed me- Speedy-Turtle-91, DepressedUnicorn, and Dr. Blind. You all are awesome-sauce.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot.<strong>

(Alec POV)

I was slightly disoriented when I woke up, as I didn't remember falling asleep. Magnus' arms were around me and I craned my neck to see his face. It wasn't at all peaceful, like I thought it would be. Instead, his eyebrows were knitted together and he seemed troubled in his sleep. I turned back around and rested my head on my pillow, debating whether or not I should wake him. When his arms tightened around me to the point where I thought he might bruise me, I looked at his face and immediately decided to wake him up.

"Magnus," I said loudly, shaking his arms off of me. "Magnus," I said again when he didn't wake up. I shook his shoulders and his eyes snapped open.

"What?" he said. "What is it?"

"You were having a nightmare," I said lamely.

He sat up, leaning against my headboard. As he swept back the hair in his face, I noticed the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. "Oh," he said. "Sorry."

"What was it about this time?" I asked cautiously.

Magnus shrugged and looked up to the ceiling. "It's always the same one," he muttered. "I can't talk to them but they're right in front of me. And then they turn to dust and I wake up. Sometimes they talk to me and sometimes they don't but…" He trailed off.

"But it still hurts," I finished for him. He nodded and sighed, putting his head on my shoulder. "I'm going to make sure you get better," I said.

"I am _not_ seeing a psychiatrist," he muttered.

"I know," I said quickly. "That's not what I meant. I'm going to help you get your mind off of it this weekend. We should go out or something, since last time we couldn't. My mom made such a big deal over that whole Idris thing."

"Speaking of Idris," Magnus said, walking to his bag. He pulled out a white, tri-folded piece of paper and sat next to me again. "I got in." He tossed the letter unceremoniously into my lap.

"Really?" I asked him while unfolding the paper. Sure enough, 'Congratulations' was the first word in the letter. "You don't seem too happy about it."

He only shrugged in response.

"You don't want to go to college with me?" I asked.

"No, that's not it," he said calmly. "The initial excitement wore off, is all."

"Oh," I said. I eyed the clock and realized how late it was. "I think we missed dinner," I said. "Are you hungry?"

"Not in the least," he said. "Are you okay? You look kind of pale." My throat felt sticky and I shook my head. "Take those painkillers and go back to sleep. I'll bring you something to eat later." I felt like a little kid when he tucked me into my bed, but I didn't resist. Magnus was comforting to me, but I should've been the one making him feel better, not the other way around. He kissed my cheek and I decided to wait until later to talk to him as sleep overtook my mind.

(Magnus POV)

I was alone with my thoughts after Alec fell asleep. I didn't know what he wanted to do that weekend but my mind was elsewhere. I kept thinking of what he had said a few hours before, about killing myself. I had never tried, not once, but I thought about it a lot.

The sadness was taking over again and I didn't know what to do. Alec said he was going to make me feel better but I had no idea how he would do that. Depression is hard to deal with and I didn't think a date would make it go away, but I didn't have the heart to tell Alec that. He meant well. If a date didn't help, I only had three other options.

Commit suicide- I was not about to take my own life and leave Alec all alone.

Go to a psychiatrist- If my boyfriend and his family couldn't help me, then I stranger couldn't either.

Deal with it- I'd still be sad.

I sighed as I realized there was nothing I could do. There was nothing anyone could do. I blinked away my tears but they just kept building up behind my eyes and I let one fall, then another, and another until I was silently sobbing. I didn't make a sound as I saw Alec stir, but he remained asleep. I looked at him and I lost track of time. He was even more beautiful in his sleep and I decided that I would have to trust him when he said he would make me feel better. Until then, I was going to have to deal with it.

(Line break here)

The rest of the week went by slowly, and Alec stopped puking altogether by Friday. We had talked to his mom earlier and agreed that seeing a psychiatrist wouldn't help me. She and Mr. Lightwood had a business trip to go on until Monday, so Alec and I planned on staying out extra late when we played football that night.

We headed to the field after dinner to meet Simon. He seemed overly happy about something, and when Alec called him out on it, Simon started talking about Isabelle and their amazing date and how pretty she was.

"Simon," Alec said firmly. "She's my baby sister."

"So?" he asked.

"So shut up."

Simon's mouth stayed shut about Isabelle for the rest of our time on the field. The game went how it usually went. Jace and Alec were on one team; Simon and I were on the other. Simon couldn't throw to save his life and I wondered why Isabelle was dating him. My mind was definitely not on football, so when Simon threw a shaky pass at me after we had been playing for a while, Alec intercepted it and I was suddenly reminded of the game we had had a few weeks before, back when Alec was still stuck in the closet. Back when my dad was alive.

I slowed my running to a stop as Alec reached the end zone. My chest hurt and I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. I braced my hands on my knees and tried to stop my heart from pounding so forcefully. It felt like it was about to rip free of my chest and I could hear it thumping in my ears. Someone was running towards me from the end zone but I didn't look up.

"Magnus?" Alec asked. His hands were on my back and I could hear the concern in his voice. "You okay?"

I nodded and then stood up, taking deep breaths. "I'm fine," I lied smoothly. "Just got a cramp."

Alec looked skeptical. "Alright," he said.

Jace and Simon were next to us by the time I had recovered from my 'cramp.' All four of us were sweaty and generally worn out. Jace suggested we all go home so Simon's mom didn't kill us. Alec had a different idea.

"Hey Jace?" Alec said. "Magnus and I are going to go take a walk. We'll see you when we get home."

"How am _I _going to get home?" he asked.

"That's not my problem," Alec said. "Make Simon take you."

Alec and I grasped hands and began walking towards the park, leaving Simon complaining about his curfew behind us.

We walked in silence for a while until we reached the path that lead to Central Park. Central Park really wasn't that far from the school and teenagers usually hung out there on nice days. There probably wasn't anyone else out at the hour though.

"Why'd you randomly want to go for a walk?" I asked Alec quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence of nature.

He stuck his hand in his pocket and shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "I wanted some alone time with you. We don't have much privacy with everyone else in the house. And I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" I asked.

Shrugging again he said, "Anything. Talk about whatever's on your mind. I just like to hear your voice."

I smiled a little. "Now I don't know what to say. I can't speak under pressure," I said.

"Yeah you can," he said, nudging my arm. "You gave an impromptu speech in Ms. Madison's class last month, and it was awesome. So don't start."

I chuckled but didn't say anything. I was too busy engulfing myself in the feeling of having Alec next to me. Even though he was dirty and sweaty, Alec was still beautiful to me.

"You know what I just realized?" I said. "We're going to graduate together and go to college together. We're like a package deal."

Alec graced me with his smile and I felt my heart flutter. "And we're technically living with each other," he added jokingly.

"What do you think we're gonna do _after_ college?" I asked him.

"You mean if we survive that whole 2012 thing?" he asked back.

I scoffed at him. "You don't really believe that'll happen, do you?"

"Hell, I don't know," he said. "What if it does? What if there's an epidemic or something?"

"Then we'd be in deep shit," I said. "But if it _does_ happen, you are not allowed to leave my side. And we'd do a whole bunch of awesome stuff. Like bungee jumping, and skydiving, and a lot of other life-threatening things. We would be absolutely badass before the world ended."

"If the world ended," Alec began. "I would track down Ms. Madison and punch her in the face. I hate her so much…" He trailed off as I started laughing. "What?" he asked.

"You're so cute," was my answer. "I couldn't imagine you punching someone in the face. Especially not a girl."

"Ms. Madison isn't a girl," Alec grumbled. "I'm sure she's an evil British alien who's out to kill me and bring me back to her home planet. She loves you but hates me. Does that make sense? No. No it doesn't. You and I were best friends and now we're dating and she still hates me. No sense is made by that… that thing we call a teacher. I hadn't said two words to her and she decided to be a bitch."

I held the pointer finger of my free hand to his lips to silence him. "Babe," I said. "You're rambling."

"Sorry," he said. "I just can't stand her."

"Oh, I know," I said. "Maybe it's a fashion thing."

Alec turned his head to me with his eyebrow raised. "What are you trying to say, Magnus?" he asked me.

I tried to hide my smile by biting my lip. "Nothing," I said. "Certainly not that you have the fashion sense of a hobo."

He looked down at his tattered jeans and grass stained t-shirt in disdain. "I do not have the fashion sense of a hobo," he whined.

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt," I stated.

"So you think our British English teacher only likes you because you're sparklier than Edward Cullen in the sun?" he asked incredulously.

I nodded. "Absolutely."

He just laughed and shook his head. "I don't think that's it," he said. "But it's a good enough reason for me."

We both stopped walking once we reached the park and looked around for a second. The park was one of my favorite places to go and think. It was quieter than most of New York and there was a beautiful fountain in the middle of it. **(A/N- Sorry if my knowledge of New York sucks, so even if Central Park is nothing like this we're going to pretend it is, mkay?) **

Alec and I slowed down our walking and I noticed that we were the only people there. I kind of expected that since it was almost midnight on a Friday and everyone was either out partying or asleep. Not very many people stopped to enjoy a park anymore.

I sat on a bench where I could get a good look at the fountain. Alec sat next to me and put his head in my lap. I looked down into his eyes and we both smiled.

"This place is actually kind of nice at night," he said quietly. "Or maybe I only think that because you're here."

I smiled wider and kissed his nose. "You're unbelievably good to me," I said. "I'm a pretty high maintenance guy and you deal with my craziness anyways."

"You deal with my hobo fashion sense," he said.

"And your snoring."

He paused and looked up at me with his deep blue eyes. "I do not snore," he said halfheartedly.

"Yeah, you do," I said. When he blushed, I added, "But it's not a horribly loud and obnoxious snore. It's adorable."

"I'm glad I don't sound like a lawn mower," he muttered, still blushing. "Magnus?" he asked.

"Hm?"

"I love you," he said. "And I really want you to be happy."

"I love you, too," I said. "And I'm happy when you're with me, I hope you know that."

"I know that _now_," he said, checking his watch. "We should get home." He stood up and stretched his back, revealing a thin strip of skin between his shirt and jeans. I didn't stop staring at it until he put his arms down and held his hand out to me. I took it and we walked back to his car.

We were back at his house in no time at all and everyone else was fast asleep. Our attempts at being quiet failed epically when Alec stepped on Chairman Meow and proceeded to fall on his face. I tried to hold in my laughter but it was all in vain. I was sure everyone was awake by the time we got to Alec's room.

Alec took a shower first and I waited patiently on his bed, trying not to fall asleep. I had already decided that we were sleeping in the same bed since his parents weren't home. I hadn't been able to fall asleep that well without his arms around me.

Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I heard the bathroom door open and Alec walked out in just his sweatpants. His hair was damp and falling in his eyes. I couldn't move my gaze from his abs.

"I used your soap again," he said. "I hope you don't mind."

I stood up and wrapped my arms around his was, breathing in the scent of grapefruits. "No, I don't mind," I muttered into his shoulder. "You smell delicious. I could just eat you up," I whispered in his ear.

He shivered but only said, "Go take a shower, Magnus."

I kissed his soft lips before letting him go, my arms slinking off his waist.

My shower was pretty quick, as I wanted to get back to Alec as soon as possible. I wasn't sure where we were going the next day, and with his parents out of town and a three-day weekend on our hands anything was possible.

"Alexander," I said as I strutted out of the bathroom in just my boxers. He turned and blushed when he saw me. "Do you know where my silk pajama pants are?"

He closed his mouth and blinked, getting off his bed and moving to his dresser. I frowned when I saw that he had put a shirt on. Shirts were overrated.

"Yeah," he muttered. "I think my mom tossed them in my dresser when she was trying to vacuum." He pulled out the blue silk garment and tossed it to me. No matter how many times he tried not to, his eyes kept staring at me.

"What?" I asked when I noticed this. "You like what you see?" I struck a ridiculously provocative pose and Alec blushed even harder but laughed nonetheless.

"Yes," he said. "Yes, I do."

I pulled on the pants and flopped on the bed, rolling over on my stomach. "What do you want to do tomorrow?" I asked Alec. "I'm up for anything that involves you and/or food."

"And/_or_?" he repeated, sliding next to me on the bed. "You'd be content if I wasn't on our date as long as there was food?"

"No," I said. "I take it back."

He nuzzled into me and sighed. "Good," he said. "I was worried that food was more important to you."

"It isn't," I said. "Actually it depends how hungry I am and where you are and whether or not you're holding food." I looked down when he didn't answer and I realized that his eyes were closed and his breathing was even. He had fallen asleep against my shoulder. I smiled and closed my eyes, hoping to sleep soundly through the night with the love of my life next to me.

**A/N- And there it was. I had to get this chapter up just to get rid of the writer's block. You're very welcome, even though it kind of sucked. :P Uh, yeah, sorry for the suckiness. REVIEW OR NO CHAPTER 24! Mwuahahahahahaha!  
>-Ella <strong>


	25. Paint

**A/N- Hi. I loved all of your reviews, as per usual… OH! And I have decided that I am going to write a lemon for this story! I don't know when, but I will. Eventually. So the rating is now M, though it won't matter until later.  
>Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments series. *Frowny face*<strong>

(Magnus POV)

My night was dreamless and I slept through it without any problems. Dreamless nights were my favorite kinds of nights, because if I'm not dreaming, I feel like everything around me is as good as it can be and I just couldn't think of anything better to dream about. It's a comforting thought, really.

I woke up before Alec again, but this time I was feeling refreshed and… happy? Yes, happy. Happy because Alec was next to me and I hadn't had a nightmare. It seemed like he was the one thing keeping me sane. Without him I had nightmares, but when I slept with my body next to his it was like nothing could hurt me.

There was nothing to do without Alec, and I didn't want to wake him, so I lay back on my pillow and watched him sleep. With the morning sunlight leaking in through his window and the contrast of his black hair against the white sheets, he looked like someone out of a movie. Surreal and beautiful.

We had been together for weeks and his beauty still amazed me. There was so much more I wanted to do with him. I wanted to go further with him; I just didn't know how to ask.

His eyelids fluttered open and all of my thoughts came to a screeching halt as I saw his deep blue eyes. They lit up when he saw my face and he smiled.

"Good morning," I said softly, pecking his cheek. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "I missed sleeping next to you."

"Me, too," I muttered. "Thank goodness your parents are workaholics, huh?" He chuckled and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, all the while yawning adorably. "So, what do you want to do today?" I asked him.

Alec shrugged. "We'll think of something," he said.

"Until then," I said, getting up. "I need to get dressed and spike up my hair. I haven't done that with my hair in so long…"

Alec sat up and said, "I'm going to go get an apple or something." He got up and made his way to the door. "Have fun with your hair." He smiled before disappearing through the doorway.

(Alec POV)

I went downstairs in search of something healthy to eat for breakfast. We were all out of apples and oranges, so I scanned the fridge for something else. I found a pudding cup and decided I would live a little with my parents out of town.

As I grabbed a spoon from the drawer near the sink, I heard someone coming down the stairs. I turned around, pudding in hand, and came face to face with Isabelle who looked perfect even in the morning. Not the slightest amount of bedhead was there. I had no idea how she did that.

"Morning," she said, eyeing my pudding. "Are there more of those?"

I shrugged and moved out of her way so I could sit at the kitchen counter. "Why don't you check?" I said, swallowing a spoonful of the gel-like chocolate.

Apparently, there were many more cups of pudding, and Izzy joined me at the counter, happily spooning some into her mouth.

"Hey, Jace, Clary, Simon, and I are going on a double-date," she said. "You and Magnus want to come with us? I think Jace is paying for dinner."

I shook my head. "No thanks," I said. "Max is sleeping over at his friend's house later so I thought Magnus and I could spend some time together. Alone."

Grinning, she nodded at me. "So have you and Magnus had sex yet?" she asked, being very blunt.

I almost choked on the pudding I had been trying to swallow but somehow managed to get it down my throat. "What?" I asked. "I-I don't know what you're talking about. What's sex? Is that a type of food product? You're not making any sense." _Wow,_ I thought. _Nice save, Alec. Way to be smooth._

She only ate another spoonful of pudding and raised her eyebrow at me. "Really?" she asked. "Alec, I know you're not that big of a prude. No come on, _did you_?"

"Well, I…" I paused, unsure of myself. "No, we haven't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know," I muttered. Don't get me wrong, I loved Isabelle to death, but she had the tendency to make me feel uncomfortable with her bluntness. "We just haven't."

"That's not a good reason," she said.

"It's never come up," I insisted. "And I'm kind of nervous about doing it. I mean, I love him and everything but… doesn't it hurt?"

She shrugged in a nonchalant sort of way. "It's not that bad," she said, patting my arm.

I just nodded until something occurred to me and my eyes went wide. "How would you know?" I asked her.

"What?" she asked. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you mocking me?"

"What?" she said again, standing up. "What's mocking? Is that a type of food product?" Yeah, she was mocking me alright. Before I could say anything else, she had left the kitchen.

"You suck," I called out to her.

"So does your mom!" was her reply.

"Isabelle, your mom is my mom."

She popped her head back into the kitchen and grinned at me. "Nope," she said. "You're adopted."

I only rolled my eyes and shook my head, thinking about how weird it was that I had just had I conversation about sex with my _sister_. My feet carried me back up to my room and I found that Magnus had actually left his hair down again.

"I thought you were going to put it in spikes," I commented when I saw him walking out of the bathroom.

"I thought you were going to get an apple," he said back, pulling on a shirt that said 'Hella fine' on it. I thought it was an extremely accurate shirt for him.

"Touché," I said, sitting down on my bed and eating some more pudding. It was half empty by then.

Magnus crashed onto the bed next to me and looked over my shoulder. "You know," he said. "I love you and you're perfect in every single way and-"

"You're not getting any of my pudding," I said firmly. "You can walk downstairs and get your own."

He pushed out his bottom lip, making himself look like a sparkly child. "No I can't," he whined. "I broke both of my legs."

"No pudding for you."

He reached over and tried to take my spoon, which had been lying in the cup just waiting to be stolen by a certain someone. I was faster than him, though, and yanked the spoon out of his reach. He somehow got his index finger in the cup and it came away covered in pudding. He smiled and licked it off, making my mind shoot straight into the gutter.

"I only wanted a little bit," he said, licking the last remains of chocolate from his finger.

"Well you got it," I said, throwing away the empty cup and trying not to think about the many things Magnus could do with his tongue. I cleared my throat and went over to my dresser, pulling out one of the pairs of jeans Magnus had gotten for me and a simple black t-shirt. I put them on and brushed my teeth quickly.

"Did you think of something we could do today?" Magnus asked me when I was done.

Isabelle had put sex in my mind and I had to resist the urge to say 'each other.' I shrugged instead. "We'll figure it out," I said. "Now let me see your wrists."

Magnus rolled his eyes and sighed but held out his wrists so I could count his scars. I did that every day, just to make sure he wasn't cutting himself again. Even when he was having a good day, I made sure to check. I had missed them for years and there was no way I was letting that slide by me again.

There were the usual five on each side and I released his wrists, smiling at him. "I only check because I love you," I said.

"I know," he said. "And I only _let_ you check because I love you. So we're even." He kissed my lips, but only for a second. "Let's try to come up with something to do today so we don't end up lazing around like couch potatoes." I joined him back on my bed and thought for a minute, but came up short. "We could always go skydiving," he suggested.

"Magnus," I said. "There's no way we'd be able to do that."

"I'm just spit balling ideas here," he said. "Can you think of anything better?"

Yes, yes I could.

* * *

><p>Magnus and I ended up in one of the many empty, unfurnished, unpainted rooms in my house, with a bunch of different already used paint buckets, and two paintbrushes. We didn't bother to put anything on the floors to protect it from the upcoming projectiles of paint splatter, because again, it was an empty room with no furniture. I figured my parents either wouldn't care or wouldn't find out, because the room was pretty far away from the rest of the used rooms. They probably wouldn't find it unless they were searching every place in the house for something.<p>

"This is going to be so fun," Magnus said, eyeing the blank, white walls. "Are we just going to sling paint everywhere?"

"Yup," I said. "That's the idea." I picked up the paintbrush and then handed one to him. I dipped mine in a grayish-black colored paint, while he dipped his in a magenta paint. I had no idea why we had magenta paint in our garage, but I had a hunch that it had something to do with Isabelle. "Ready? Go!"

We both simultaneously flung our paintbrushes, splattering black and pink paint all over one of the walls. The way we had moved our wrists caused our paint lines to intersect and they almost made a perfect _X_.

"That was cool," Magnus muttered. "Did you mean to do that on purpose?"

I shook my head, and then shrugged. "But who cares?" I asked. "It looks pretty awesome, so I'm happy."

We continued to sling paint around for a while, but only on the one wall. I was busy trying to make a smiley face with blue and green paint when I noticed that Magnus was huddled near the wall opposite to the one I was standing by, hoarding the pink, red, and brown paint.

I set down my brush and walked over to him. "What are you painting?" I asked him.

He told me to wait a second, which I did, and he turned around to reveal a finger-painted drawing of a strawberry ice-cream cone, complete with a cherry on top. He signed his name right next to it in pink and grinned at me.

"Tada!" he said. "A perfect drawing by me! I forgot how much I missed finger painting."

I smiled and grabbed the black, blue, and brown paint, but tossed my brush somewhere in the room. It landed with a thud, but I didn't care. I was already dipping my finger in the black and gliding it across the wall, creating the body of a stick person. Then, I got some blue to make the eyes and added a poorly drawn football to its hand.

"Look," I said, proud of my creation. "It's doodle-Alec."

Magnus laughed. "That's adorable," he said. He got the green and yellow paint and made a doodle-Magnus that was holding doodle-Alec's free hand. Then he drew a red heart in between our heads.

"Aw," I said, smiling at him and kissing his cheek. I got the yellow and made a doodle-Jace and then added Clary next to him. I glanced over at Magnus and saw that he had drawn a girl with long black hair and something in her hand that looked like a whip. "Who is that?" I asked him.

"It's Isabelle," he said, pointing to the long hair.

"Yeah, but… Why did you give her a whip?"

He shrugged. "I don't know," he muttered. "It seemed like something she would have."

I shook my head and blushed a little, remembering the awkward conversation I had had with her. The image of Isabelle with a whip was not something I wanted in my head.

Magnus got his paintbrush again and dipped it in the magenta again. He went to one of the blank walls and wrote his name real big in all capital letters, some of the paint dripping down the wall. I got my brush as well, but I dipped it in the black instead. I drew a plus sign under his name and then 'ALEC' next to it.

Magnus reached over to me and put his arms around my waist. I couldn't resist sliding my paint brush against his cheek and smearing it with black paint. He looked at me with a certain twinkle in his eyes, so I made the line on his cheek circle around his right eye and connect to a line on his forehead.

"There," I said. "Now you're a pirate."

He frowned. "But pirates smell bad," he whined.

"Not gay pirates."

He shrugged in an offhand kind of way. "I guess I can't argue with that logic," he said. "Hey can we go eat lunch or something? I think I'm going to die from the paint fumes in here."

We ventured downstairs and had leftover, slightly burnt, pizza for lunch. Magnus had to stop eating halfway through because I couldn't take him seriously with a painted-on eye patch and he had to go wash it off.

We sat on the couch to watch TV for a 'minute' until Magnus realized there was an America's Next Top Model marathon on and we stayed there until Isabelle and Jace announced that they were leaving. When they saw us cuddled up on the couch, Isabelle made a girly noise and Jace raised his eyebrows.

"Is that why you two are staying in tonight?" Jace asked. "So you can canoodle all night?"

Isabelle all but shoved Jace out the front door and smiled at me. "We'll be back around midnight," she told us. "Make sure you call Max and tell him goodnight. Otherwise he'll think you forgot about him and start bawling." She was almost out the door when she whipped her head around again. "Remember what I told you earlier, okay? It's really not that bad. Once you get used to it, it's kind of awesome." And just like that, she was gone.

Magnus looked at me. "What'd she mean?" he asked me.

I shook my head. "It's not important."

"Alright," he muttered, stroking back my hair.

I sat back against his chest and sighed, thinking about how much pain I could handle. I wanted to go farther with Magnus, I just didn't know how to ask him. How am I supposed to phrase that? 'Hey, Magnus, you wanna go have sex?' No, that was not going to work. I sighed again, thinking of what Magnus had in store for me that night.

**A/N- ^o^ MEOW! Chairman Meow says review! :D  
>-Ella<strong>


	26. Finally

**A/N- Hello. I greatly enjoy eating pie.  
>Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments series.<strong>

(Alec POV)

Magnus and I got kind of hungry after Isabelle and Jace left so we strolled into the kitchen to find some food. All we saw was salad and pudding. Neither of us had any idea why there was so much pudding in the fridge, but we didn't question it and decided to enjoy it while we could. Pudding went fast in our house.

We sat down to a gourmet dinner of salad and pudding. It was an odd combination, yes, but so were Magnus and I. Somehow though, it worked out.

"Man," Magnus said. "Pudding is so good."

"I know right?" I agreed. "Whoever came up with the idea deserves a big high five."

We went back to the couch afterwards but Magnus didn't make me sit through anymore model shows or pregnant teenage mom shit and put it on the news instead. It was incredibly boring and he suggested we go upstairs before we died of boredom.

Once in my room, I flopped down on the bed and sighed. "I need to call Max," I said, pulling out my cellphone. "He probably thinks I've forgotten about him."

Magnus sat next to me put his head on my lap as I dialed the phone.

A kind female voice answered on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Hi Mrs. Anderson," I said. "It's Alec, is Max there?"

"Yes, hold on just a second…"

I heard a scuffling sound and then Max's adorable voice. "Alec?"

"Hey buddy," I said, smiling. "You had fun so far?"

"Yeah," he said, sounding hyper and excited. "Alec, we went skateboarding and Kevin fell down but I didn't, then we had pizza for dinner with all this stuff on it and for desert we had vanilla ice cream cake with jellybeans in it. Can you believe that? _Jellybeans in cake!_ And then we watched this really funny movie with gnomes and there was a little mushroom that acted like a dog, it was so funny! Is Jace there?"

I didn't talk for a second. I was trying to catch up with all of his words and hardly realized that he had asked me a question. "No," I said. "He's… sleeping. But I'll tell him you said hi."

"Thanks Alec," he said sweetly. "Please, please tell him not to eat all of the Cocoa Puffs like he did last time!"

"I'll tell him that, too," I said. "Now you go have fun Max, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, bye!"

"Bye." I clicked my phone shut and set it by my bed.

"Your brother is adorable," Magnus said.

I looked down at him. "I really hope you're talking about Max and not Jace."

He chuckled. "No," he said. "Jace isn't really my type. I'm more into the dark haired, blue eyed, kind of guy. Blonds kind of annoy me." He sat up and kissed me before going to his bag. He took off his shirt and tossed it in there then bent down to retrieve something. I found myself looking at his butt in those tight jeans. And let me just say, it looked fantastic. I almost drooled.

He stood up again, sweatpants in hand, and raised his eyebrow at me. "Were you just staring at my ass?" he asked.

"Nope," I lied.

"Really?" he asked. "Because your pants say otherwise."

I looked down and sure enough I was pitching a tent, right there in front of Magnus. I closed my eyes and muttered, "Sorry." My cheeks were hot and I could tell I was blushing like a tomato.

Magnus walked over to me and put his arm on my shoulder, making me open my eyes. "Hey," he said softly. "It's alright; I didn't mean to embarrass you." He sat next to me and looked right into my eyes. "Maybe I can help you fix that."

"Wh-?" My question was cut off by Magnus crashing his lips to mine. He totally caught me off guard, as I am a little naïve, and I gasped, parting my lips slightly. Magnus took that as an opportunity to delve his tongue into my mouth and I couldn't control the moan that came from deep in my throat. I felt him smile against my lips and his tongue continued to explore every inch of my mouth. His hand tugged impatiently at the hem of my shirt and we parted only for a second so I could pull it off.

He gently pushed me down onto the bed, our lips never leaving each other, and his crotch rubbed against mine. He was just as hard as I was and I suddenly felt like there was far too much clothing between the two of us.

His lips left mine and he trailed kisses down my jaw to that sensitive spot right behind my ear that only he knew about. He kissed and sucked on that certain spot and I moaned again.

When he began to move down my neck and onto my chest with his kisses, his eyes met mine and I saw the lust in them. I imagined my eyes looked the same as his. Clouded over with need.

By then, his mouth was down by my abs and his fingers were sliding gracefully over my sides, leaving Goosebumps behind. When Magnus got to the hem of my jeans, he kissed the soft skin right above it and popped open the button, using his skilled mouth to slide the zipper down. I didn't know where he had learned that, but it wasn't exactly the first thing on my mind at the time.

He pulled down my jeans and I kicked them off the rest of the way with my bare feet. Smirking when he saw my boxers he said, "I should have guessed they would be black."

My smartass comment died in my throat when he practically ripped my boxers off of me and flicked his tongue out to lick the pre-cum off the tip of my cock. It hardly felt like anything to me, but when he started sucking on it my back arched off the bed and I moaned, low and deep. I was a little embarrassed at the sounds I was making but Magnus seemed to enjoy it.

My hands fisted into his hair when his mouth went lower and lower until he was deep-throating me. I involuntarily bucked my hips and probably almost choked him, but he didn't stop. He did, however, place his hands on my hips in an attempt to keep me still. I don't know what he did, probably hollowed out his cheeks, but it made the sensation that much more wonderful.

"Oh, God," I breathed when he gently slid his teeth up my cock. "D-Do that again." He did, harder that time, and my hold on his hair got tighter. He moaned when I did so and I mentally grinned at him. Of course Magnus would like getting his hair pulled.

I was more than likely muttering unintelligible nonsense as I felt my stomach tighten and something occurred to me. It took a few tries to actually get words out of my mouth but I managed to say his name. I don't think he heard me. "M-Magnus," I said again. "Wait, stop."

He released me and looked up into my eyes. "What is it?" he asked.

"I-I uh…" My face reddened and I paused, not exactly sure how to word what I wanted to do. "I want you inside me," I said quickly.

Magnus' face got serious. "Are you sure, Alec?" he asked softly. "You don't have to if you're not ready…"

"I'm ready," I said firmly.

"Well, do you have anything?" he asked.

I didn't get what he was saying at first. "In the drawer," I said when it clicked for me.

He got off the bed, still wearing his jeans, and opened up the drawer next to my bed while I just laid there and tried to control my heart beat. It was thumping so hard and I kept telling myself over and over again to calm the fuck down.

Magnus came back to where I was lying with the bottle of lube in his hand. He kissed me and I fumbled with the button on his jeans, somehow managing to get them off of him. He straddled my hips and bent down to kiss me sweetly. It was all I could do not to whimper at what was to come.

He popped open the tube and squeezed some onto three of his long fingers. He bent over me again and made me meet his gaze. "Ready?" he asked.

I breathed deeply and nodded, bracing myself for the pain.

He slowly pushed his index finger inside me, the same one that I remembered had pudding all over it that morning, and I gasped at the slight pain. Thankfully, it wasn't too intense but it was a weird, burning kind of pain. I closed my eyes and waited for my body to adjust to the foreign feeling, then nodded, silently telling him to keep going.

He distracted me by kissing me deeply, and my mind was on his lips, not his other finger slipping inside me. The pain was starting to mix with pleasure and I moaned as he pushed in a third digit and started to slowly pump his fingers in and out. I was making all kinds of noise then but nothing compared to the sound I made when he curled his fingers and brushed them against a sensitive bundle of nerves, making pleasure shoot through me. I cried out and rolled my hips against his hand, begging for more. The last thing I wanted him to do was pull out his fingers and when he did so I whimpered at the loss.

Magnus shook his boxers off and my eyes widened at how big he was. And I mean, _big_ big. How he managed to fit that into skinny jeans every day was beyond me. He asked if I had a condom but I shook my head.

"Don't," I said. "I trust you. And I want to feel everything."

He nodded and grabbed the lube again, coating himself. I bit my lip as he lined up at my entrance and leaned over me on his elbows. I breathed out but then sucked in air through my teeth when he kissed me and pushed himself in. It wasn't even halfway in, but it still hurt. The pleasure from his fingers was gone, completely overtaken with pain. It was a sharp pain, almost searing. Even though I tried to blink them away, tears escaped from the corners of my eyes and slid down my cheeks. Magnus quickly wiped them off.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, nuzzling his nose into my shoulder. "Alec, baby, you need to calm down or it will only get worse. I can feel your heart hammering. Just relax, okay?"

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Alright," I whispered back.

He kept pushing in, very slowly, until he was buried up to the hilt. He stayed there for a minute before pulling out even slower than he went in, all the while kissing me. As he pushed in again, he took the back of my knee and hooked my leg over his hip, changing up the angle. It was less painful that way.

He just barely brushed that spot again and some of the pain went away. I rolled my hips against him and closed my eyes, grabbing his shoulders.

"More," I whispered.

He pulled out and then back in, faster and more forceful that time. Pleasure was beginning to coarse through me and I moaned his name. His thrusts got faster and faster until he was downright pounding into me. I was sure I would be walking funny the next morning but it felt too good for me to care.

"Oh, Magnus," I moaned. "God, I love you. I love you so fucking much."

"I love you, too," he said. "More than anything in the world."

He kissed me feverishly and definitely started picking up the pace. The friction from his body against my cock was making me feel good in places I didn't know could feel good. I almost went over the edge when he suddenly grabbed it and started pumping in time with his thrusts.

"Magnus," I moaned against his lips. "I-I'm almost…"

"It's okay," he said, voice filled with lust. "Me, too."

I felt my stomach coil up again and my walls tightened against him. Magnus came before me though, and the feeling of him shooting off inside me was enough for me to cry out his name and ride out the best feeling in the world. My scream would've woken up everyone in the house, if there was anyone home. And I'm sure my eyes rolled into the back of my head when the intense feeling of ecstasy blocked everything else out of my mind.

Magnus was about to collapse as he pulled out of me, his arms shaking. He lay down on the bed next to me and we were both breathing heavily. I was worn out to the point where I barely had the strength to pull the sheets over us. If I was that spent, I couldn't imagine how tired Magnus was. I turned on my side so I could look at him. He was even more beautiful when he was looking at me with love in his eyes and sweat on his forehead.

"That was _amazing_," I said. "I can't believe I missed out on that for eighteen years…"

He smiled tiredly. "Thanks," he muttered. "I tried." His arms pulled me closer to him. "I'm just glad that you trusted me enough to lose your virginity to me. I wish I could've done the same."

The weird thing was I wasn't even mad at him. Magnus had told me straight up that he wasn't a virgin a while ago. I just didn't know the whole story.

"Who was it then?" I asked, sitting up to lean against the headboard.

Magnus followed suit and put his arm around my waist like he always did. "I hate saying this," he muttered. "But it was William, last summer when we were still dating."

"What was it like?"

"It wasn't nearly as good as this," he assured me. "I was in your position, only William had pressured me into doing it. I kind of wanted to and I kind of didn't, but he wouldn't give it up. Eventually I gave in and he wasn't at all gentle about the whole ordeal. Afterwards, he started getting really protective and clingy and our relationship fell apart."

"That's not going to happen to us," I said firmly. "I promise."

"I know," he said calmly. "And that's why I agreed to do this. Because I know that you're nothing like William."

"Neither are you," I said. "Not at all."

He nodded and sighed, sinking back onto the pillows. "I'm about to pass out," he said.

"Me, too," I muttered, lying back down and scooting closer to him. I kissed the back of his neck and turned off the light. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too," I heard him say back.

We fell asleep instantly, our bodies molded together like one being, our hearts pumping in the same rhythm, never missing a beat.

**A/N- So, that was my first lemon. Was it any good? I thought it was kind of a fail. You should totally review and tell me what you think because I stayed up until three AM to write this so you best be reviewing.  
>Ella out!<br>-Ella :P**


	27. Max

**A/N- Ah the feeling of writing. How I love it so. :) You should all just assume that before every chapter I'm going to thank you for the reviews. Because I have yet to be flamed by anyone and when you all review, you are so nice and filled with **_**constructive**_** criticism. I greatly appreciate that. :D So thank you!  
>Disclaimer- Why am I still saying this? Do I even need it after 25 chapters? Well, if it makes any difference, I do not own the Mortal Instruments series. <strong>

(Magnus POV)

It was pretty early when I woke up, about eight in the morning, and Alec's arms were still around me. I could tell by his breathing though that he was awake. I turned around and saw his smile brighten up his face.

"Hi," I whispered. "How long have you been awake?"

"Only a few minutes," he whispered back.

"You know," I said, bringing him closer to me. "I haven't seen you fully naked in the light yet." I lifted up the blanket just enough to take a peek at his glorious body and I sighed. "Day-um," I muttered. "I am so jealous of your body. How did you get abs like that?"

Alec only shrugged in response and blushed a deep pink. He put his head on my chest and groaned when he shifted his legs. "Ow," he muttered.

I chuckled at him. "Sore?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, sitting up and wincing a little. He peeled back the sheets and got out of bed, grabbing his boxers from the floor. When he turned back around and eyed the sheets his blush got deeper. "Why don't you go take a shower?" he suggested. "I need to go clean these."

I rolled out of his bed, stark naked, and kissed his red cheeks. "You go do that."

(Alec POV)

I stripped my bed of its sheets and tossed them into my laundry basket along with some of our dirty clothes. I pulled on my sweatpants and a black shirt and carried the basket down the hallway to the laundry room. It was kind of hard to walk with a throbbing pain in between my legs.

In a weird way, I didn't really feel any different. I was kind of ecstatic, though. I could tell I was smiling like an idiot and I bet Isabelle did too when I ran smack into her. She was walking out of her room, yawning, and knocked the basket out of my hands. She muttered an apology and helped me pick up everything. When she saw the sheets however, her eyes got wider and she smirked at me.

I stood up with her and she wouldn't stop grinning. "You're glowing," she said as we walked to the laundry room together. "And you're walking a little weird." I didn't say anything, only stuffed everything into the washing machine and added soap. "You did it, didn't you?"

The machine beeped when I pressed the start button and I turned to her. "Yeah, we did," I muttered.

"_You guys had sex?" _she almost shouted.

"Shhh!" I told her. "Keep it down, would you? I'll never hear the end of it if Jace finds out."

She squealed and squeezed me in a big hug then sat on top of the dryer. "Tell me everything!" she exclaimed.

"Isabelle," I said, leaning against the dryer. "It's not important and I don't really want to tell you about my sex experience."

She pushed out her bottom lip like a little kid. "Pwease?" she asked. "I just want some little tiny details is all."

"Okay, fine," I said, hopping up onto the dryer with her. "Magnus and I had sex and then we fell asleep. The end." I got down and left Isabelle sitting there looking pissed at me. I didn't really care. I planned on going back to my room and putting an icepack on my crotch.

After Magnus had finished with his shower, we went downstairs to have more pudding for breakfast. But when I opened the fridge, there was only one cup left. I didn't want to deprive Magnus of his pudding so we decided to share it.

We sat at the counter together and I got out a spoon for us. What was the point of dirtying another spoon when we could just share one? When I was sharing it with Magnus, pudding tasted even better.

There was a loud thumping noise and Isabelle came into view, looking mad. She opened the refrigerator and slammed it closed when she saw that there was no pudding left.

"That is so unfair," she huffed, sitting across from us. "You get pudding _and_ sex?"

"Who's getting sex?" Jace asked, sliding into the chair next to her, holding a bottle of water.

"Alec and Magnus," she said, irritated. She'd said that right as Jace had taken a sip of water and ended up having it spewed all over her shoulder. She grabbed a paper towel and, after hitting Jace, wiped off her damp shoulder then turned back to us.

Jace was beside himself. "What?" he exclaimed. "Alec put out before Clary did? How is that fair? Clary and I have been dating longer than you!"

"Yeah, well," Magnus said, eating a spoonful of pudding. "We've loved each other longer than you."

"Oh, like love has anything to do with it," Jace muttered into his bottle.

I slid the rest of the pudding to Magnus and he smiled happily. "Love," I said. "Has everything to do with it."

"I agree," Izzy said.

"The girl in the relationship always thinks that _sex _i_s_ synonymous with _love_," Jace said.

I looked up from Magnus' eyes and raised my eyebrow at Jace. "I am not the girl in the relationship," I said. "Am I?"

"That depends," Jace said seriously. "Were you on the top or the bottom?"

"Bottom," Magnus piped in. I blushed and elbowed him.

"Then you're the girl," Isabelle said.

"I am not," I insisted. "Magnus over here wears glitter and tight clothes and makeup, while I am a black-wearing football player. That doesn't make any sense."

"It's all about your attitude," Jace said. "No offense, but you kind of act like a girl."

"Just because you say 'no offense' doesn't mean that's not offensive," I stated.

"Yeah," Isabelle said, eyeing Magnus' pudding. He guarded it protectively and I could've sworn he growled a little. "I think it's obvious that Magnus wears the pants in your relationship. The really tight pants."

"I hate all of you," I muttered.

Magnus turned to me with big doe eyes and said, "But you love me, right?"

"Yes, of course," I said, kissing his cheek. The doorbell rang and I hopped off my chair to grab it. It was Mrs. Anderson there to drop off Max.

"Thanks, Mrs. A," I said. "How was he?"

"Oh, sweet as usual," she said as she watched Kevin give Max a bone crushing, little kid hug. "Kevin and I have to go run some errands. Feel free to have Max over at our house whenever you like." She smiled at me and I closed the door.

"Did you have fun?" I asked Max, picking him up.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and smiled broadly. "I had a lot of fun," he said happily. "Did I tell you about the jellybeans in the ice cream cake?"

I chuckled and nodded, seating him on top of the kitchen counter. "Did you eat breakfast?" I asked him. When he shook his head I pulled out a half full box of Cocoa Puffs and poured him a bowl then sat next to Magnus again.

"Magnus," Max said through a mouthful of cereal. "You're still here!" He jumped off the counter and ran into his arms, smiling bigger. "How long are you staying?"

Magnus knelt down to Max's eye level and smiled back at him. "Until after graduation," he said.

"What about your parents?" Max asked innocently.

The room got deadly silent and I watched Magnus' face carefully for any signs of a collision. No one really said much about his parents anymore, and I think he had just been starting to forget about the pain.

"They're in a better place now," he said calmly.

Max's eyes got wide. "They died?" he asked incredulously. Magnus nodded and Max threw his little arms around his neck. "That's so sad!" he exclaimed and pulled back. "I'm sorry that happened. You know, my grandma died, too and that was really sad. Maybe they're in the same place. I hope they're friends."

Magnus smiled sadly and nodded, picking Max and putting him back on the counter so his legs swung off of it. "I hope so, too, Max," he said with tears swimming in his eyes. "I really do." He sat next to me but stood up a second later and swiftly walked upstairs.

I followed him up and found him sitting on my bed, tears running down his face. Nothing was to be said, so I kept my mouth shut and sat next to him, putting my arm around his waist and pulling him closer to me.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, putting his head on my shoulder. "I was just started to really handle it and little, cute Max had to go and say that. It's not his fault, he doesn't know any better."

"I know," I said softly, stroking back his hair. "I can talk to him if you want."

"No, it's fine," he sniffled. "Can I just, uhm, have a second? My makeup is all runny now."

"Sure." I kissed his soft lips and went back downstairs. Max had finished his cereal, which was weird because I had only been gone for a minute or two. I had a feeling that Jace had something to do with it.

"Is Magnus okay?" Max asked.

"He's fine," I said calmly.

"Are _you_ okay?" he asked. "You're walking like your leg is hurt or something."

I blushed and cleared my throat, sitting across from Jace and Isabelle again. "I uh… fell down the stairs," I said.

Both Isabelle and Jace were failing epically at holding in their giggles and Max was looking between the three of us with a confused expression. "I don't get it," he whined. "Someone tell me what's so funny."

"I'll tell you when you're older," Jace said, laughing his blond ass off.

I love my family to death, but sometimes I just want them to shut up.

**A/N- Whoa, what is up with the shortness of this chapter? I am sorry my friends, but this was a bit of a filler chapter. Soon we are getting to the graduation from highschool… among other things. Check out my new story 'Innocent' which is coming out soon to Fanfictioners everywhere!  
>-Ella :D<strong>


	28. Spider

**A/N- Love, love, loved all of your reviews! :D Check out Innocent, my new TMI AU/AH story! Out now! :D  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot. And the OC's.<strong>

(Magnus POV)

Alec and I really did nothing for the rest of the day. After my little crying bit, I was feeling kind of down so Alec made double sure to stay by my side. We sat around on his bed (with clean sheets) and watched whatever was on TV. I flipped it on to Gossip Girl while Alec was in the bathroom. When he came back he groaned, flopped onto the bed, and snuggled in next to me.

"Let me see them," he said suddenly. He had been initiating random wrist checks every day and I groaned, holding them out. He counted the ten, small scars and gave them back to me. "Good," he said, twining his fingers in mine. He kissed me, long and slow, and both of our hands left each other; mine threading through his hair and his reaching down by my side for something. I opened my eye just barely and saw his hand sneaking towards the remote.

I pulled back ever so slightly, my lips still almost touching his, and made a noise in the back of my throat. "Don't you dare touch that remote, Alexander," I murmured. "I will get all Asian on you."

He sighed and pulled back with empty hands. "Damnit," he said. "Do we really have to watch Gossip Girl?"

"Well," I said, stroking his hip and pulling him closer. "We could always do something else." I nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck and gently kissed the soft skin there.

"No use in trying, Magnus," he said even though I felt him shiver. "I'm still sore. You'll just end up disappointed."

"We don't have to do _that_ exactly," I countered. "There are plenty of things we can do under that category."

"No," he said again. "Not with Max in the house."

"Ugh," I groaned, putting my head on his chest. "Can I at least have another kiss?"

"You can have as many kisses as you want," he said. I leaned up with my arms on his chest and gave him a sweet kiss.

"I love you," I said.

He smiled the most adorable smile in the world. "I love you, too," he said. We were both quiet for a minute, and then Alec made a weird noise and shouted "OH MY GOD!"

I jumped so hard that I fell out of his bed, but popped right up with a confused and horrified look on my face. "What?" I half shouted. "What is it?"

He pointed to something on the side of his bed. "There's a spider!" exclaimed.

My shoulders sagged and I raised my eyebrow at him. "Really?" I asked. "That's what made you freak out?" I glanced over at the sheets and saw the tiniest spider in all of existence just kind of chilling there. It moved and Alec damn near squealed, jumping off the bed and cowering behind me.

"Kill it," he said pitifully.

Grabbing a tissue from his table, I swept up the spider. "There's no need to kill an innocent creature," I scolded. "I'll go put it outside."

"NO!" he shouted, startling me. "It'll just find its way back in! They're sneaky little fuckers, they are! Squish it!"

"Alexander," I said slowly. "It's not going to hurt you." I moved the tissue a tiny bit so he could see the spider and Alec jumped back.

"Yes it is!" he exclaimed. "If it bites a human with its poisonous pincers then they will _die_!"

"Well yeah," I began. "But you would need a whole army of these spiders to kill someone."

"It probably has a friend and a bazillion spider babies with their weird egg sacks," he countered. "Go squish it! No, even better, why don't you go flush it down the toilet? Drown it! Make sure it drowns…"

Mildly scared because he had growled the last part, I quickly walked to the bathroom and flushed the spider along with the tissue down it. I went back to Alec and gave him a look.

"Did it drown?" he asked.

"Yes, it drowned," I said calmly, as if talking to a small animal. Very carefully I put my arms around his torso from behind and put my chin on his shoulder. "I'm pretty sure that was the gayest moment of your life. Why are you so scared of spiders?"

"I don't know," he muttered. "Spiders are icky."

I kissed the back of his neck and grinned. "I think that's sort of adorable."

"_Spiders?_" he asked incredulously.

"No," I laughed. "How you're scared of them."

There was a knock on the door and Alec told whoever it was to come in. When we saw it was Max though, we both sprang apart, almost at opposite ends of the room. Luckily, he didn't notice anything.

"Are you two feeling better?" he asked sweetly. We both nodded. "Can you help me figure something out? Jace and Izzy won't tell me and mommy and daddy are still on their business trip."

I looked toward Alec and he seemed fine with it, so we followed Max down the hallway across a few corridors and into a room that I remembered greatly. Two of its walls were splattered with paint, one held many doodle-people, and the final said "Magnus + Alec" in black and pink paint. Who would've guessed that Max would be the one to find it?

Max pointed to the splatter side. "That looked like fun and I don't think it really means anything," he said. Then he pointed to the doodles. "That's the stick people of our family. That's easy. But I don't know why Izzy's holding a snake." Finally, he pointed to the wall with our names and squinted at it. "This is the one I don't get. Jace laughed when I showed it to him and Izzy said aw, so…?"

Alec's face was kind of like "O.O" and I'm pretty sure mine looked the same.

"It's weird," Max pondered to himself. "Natalie did the same thing when she liked me. Only it was all pink." His face twisted and he seemed to be calculating something in his head. "Magnus," he said, turning to me. "Do you _like_ Alec?"

"Uh," I said, eyeing Alec and shrugging like 'What do I do?'

Alec knelt down to look at Max and sighed. "Do you remember Annabelle?" he asked him and Max nodded. "You know how she had two daddies and no mommy?" He nodded again. "Well, Magnus and I are like that."

"But Alec," Max started. "You _do _have a mommy."

He sighed again, obviously trying to keep his cool. "No, that's not what I meant," he said. "Magnus and I are like the two daddies."

"You mean you love boys instead of girls?" Max asked.

Alec nodded. "That's exactly what I mean." He sat against the splatter wall and Max joined him. I did the same and Alec ended up in the middle.

Max looked at our joined hands and tilted his head, making his glasses slip down his nose. He pushed them back up, asking, "Am I going to like boys instead of girls when I grow up?"

"I don't know," Alec said. "It's not something you can choose. You like girls right now, don't you?"

"Yes," Max said matter-of-factly. "They smell good."

"Then you'll probably still like them when you're my age," he said. "And if you don't then that's fine, too."

"Do mommy and daddy know that you and Magnus like each other?" he asked.

"Mhm," Alec said.

"There's a name for that," Mas said randomly, placing his finger on his chin.

"Gay?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, that means happy," he said. Before me or Alec could interject, he snapped his fingers and said, "Lesbian!"

I had to bite my tongue and put my hand over my mouth to keep from bursting into throws of laughter. Alec just looked up to the heavens and sighed. "No," he said slowly. "That's when two _girls_ like each other."

"_Is_ there a word for it?" Max asked.

"_Gay_," I said again. "It can mean happy or a boy that likes other boys."

"That's confusing," Max said.

"Don't tell mom and dad that you know, okay?" Alec said. "They wouldn't be very happy."

"I won't," Max said, curling his pinky into Alec's. "I pinky promise not to tell. I don't really get it anyways." He stood up and looked at our names on the wall again. "Are you in love?" he asked quietly. When we nodded, he smiled at us, reminding me of Alec when he was about ten. "Then I don't think it matters if you like boys or if you like girls. Love is a good thing." Max gave us both big hugs and left the room.

"When did your nine year old brother get so wise?" I asked Alec. "Never in my life have I met a kid who was smart like that."

"I think he just sees the goodness in people," Alec answered. "He gets that from my mom."

"I bet he does." I stood up and held out my hand to Alec. He took it, hauling himself up, and we both left the room. We headed back to his room instead and Gossip Girl was just ending. "Aw, man," I said. "I wanted to see that…"

Alec patted my hand. "You'll be okay," he insisted.

"We should throw a party," I said out of the blue.

"No," was his automatic answer.

"You're no fun," I whined.

"Excuse me, but I believe that we had plenty of _fun_ these past few days," Alec said. "We most certainly are not throwing a party but we can go out if you want. Dinner and a movie, or something."

"Alright," I said after some thought. "On one condition."

"Oh, what is it this time?"

"I get to dress you," I said happily. "There won't be any glitter involved."

"Will there be any makeup involved?" he asked skeptically.

"It all depends on how much I want your eyes to pop," I said. He sighed but nodded and I smiled happily, kissing his cheek. "You get to pick what movie we see, if that makes you feel any better."

"So I have to wear makeup but you'll sit in a dark theater with me even if the movie we're seeing is in Japanese and has no cute guys in it at all?" he asked.

"Uh, well technically I could understand what was going on because I can speak Japanese, and it doesn't have to involve cute boys when I have you next to me, but yes," I said.

"Good," he said, grinning evilly. "Then we're seeing Twilight."

I groaned, letting out a long ew. "I _hate_ Twilight," I said. "I am so much sparklier than Edward Cullen. And Jacob's hair isn't as silky as mine. They ain't got nothin' on me."

Alec laughed beautifully and curled onto his bed next to me. "We can see it and make fun of it then," he said.

"As long as you're there," I said. "I'm happy."

**A/N- What is with these short chapters? Damn, I'm sorry. The next one will be longer and they will have their date. Again, check out my new story 'Innocent.' It's Malec, don't worry. :)  
>-Ella<strong>


	29. Abomination'

**A/N- Your reviews make my life better… so does pie… but mostly your reviews. And Max Lightwood; I love him like the little brother I never wanted... wait…  
>WARNING: There is some strong language near the middle of this, so watch out for that. It's all for a good reason though.<br>Disclaimer- I own NOTHING.**

(Magnus POV)

Alec and I decided to stay in for dinner and see a late movie when Max begged me to cook dinner again. Apparently, my vegetarian lasagna was his new favorite dinner. I was flattered and couldn't turn down his adorable pleas so I let him help me out in the kitchen. Alec was a lazy bum and I think he wanted Max and I to hang out for a bit, so I let Max stir the sauce while I chopped up the vegetables.

I swear that kid could fire out questions faster than anyone I had ever spoken to before. It was like every time I answered one he would say my name again and ask a different one. Sometimes they were completely random, other times they had to do with the question before, but mostly they had to do with me and Alec. I'm sure that any other teenager would be annoyed by it, but I was happy to answer each and every one of them.

"Magnus?" I heard Max say again. "What's your favorite color?"

I smiled and without a second thought, I said, "Blue." Just like Alec's eyes. "What's yours?"

He turned around on his stool in front of the stove, the wooden spoon he was holding still dipped in the sauce. "Red," he said, turning back to the sauce and stirring it slowly. "Hey Magnus?"

The vegetables were perfectly cut and I started on slicing the four different kinds of cheese. "Yeah?"

"How long have you and Alec been in love?" he asked.

That one made me think. We had always loved each other like brothers for eight years until that one day when we kissed and I knew he liked it. I had to practically kick his ass out of the closet from then on but I had loved him for a few years already…

"A long time," I said vaguely.

He nodded and continued to stir the sauce while I sliced the cheeses up and started layering all of it with the noodles. I saw that Max stirred seven times to the right and three times to the left every single time. He must've been counting in his head, because he stopped when he said my name again.

"Yes?" I said.

"Do you want to marry Alec?"

My hands stopped layering the lasagna for a second, but resumed after my heart slowed down a bit. "I don't know, Max," I said quietly. "I think he and I are too young to get married."

"Well," Max said. "That's not really an answer. If you were _older_ would you want to marry my brother?"

Leave it to the nine year old to ask me all of the tough questions. To be honest, I wasn't completely sure whether or not I wanted to marry Alec. Then again, we were 18 and going to head to college in less than a month. Graduation was that Friday and then we would be packing up our things, saying goodbye to Jace, Isabelle, and the family. Then we would have to get through college and still be in a strong relationship in order to get married. Well, we had already survived so much…

I realized that I hadn't answered his question yet. "Max, I love your brother more than anything in the world," I said, spinning around to face him and seeing that he was already looking intently at me. "And, if we were older, I would marry him in a heartbeat."

Max smiled at me. "I thought you would say something like that," he said. "I think the sauce is done."

"I think you're right," I muttered. I showed him how to pour the sauce over the layered noodles, vegetables, and cheeses. He did so expertly but when he went to ask me another question, he accidentally flung the ladle in my direction and splattered sauce across my face.

"Oopsy," he said sheepishly, setting down the ladle.

"It's fine," I said, nonchalantly dipping my finger in the sauce. I marked the tip of his nose with the dark red sauce and he giggled, wiping more of it on my forehead. By the time Alec strolled into the kitchen, we both had sauce all over our faces and in our hair.

Alec sighed and put the lasagna in the oven, set the timer, and sat us on the side of the tub in his bathroom. He wetted some towels and handed them to us, shaking his head.

Twenty minutes later, Alec, Max, Jace, Isabelle and I were enjoying my fantabulousticatious (no, that is not a word) vegetarian lasagna. There wasn't much talking, as everyone was stuffing their faces, but Jace did mention that Clary got accepted into Raziel Academy.

I finished my food early, as I wanted to get to the movies already, but Alec was a horribly slow eater. He and Jace kept talking and talking and talking about college and this and that and stuff I generally didn't care about. After my legs had gone somewhat numb from letting Max sit on my lap, I nudged Alec's arm and pointed to my watch. He rolled his eyes but smiled and helped put away dishes.

"Where are you two headed?" Isabelle asked. "Got a hot date?"

I shrugged, putting Max on the floor so I could stretch my legs. "More or less," I said. "We're going to the movies."

"What are you seeing?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said slyly. "We probably won't be watching it anyways."

She laughed and Jace cracked a smile but Max looked as confused as ever. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I'll tell you when you're older," Jace muttered.

I followed Alec upstairs and picked out his outfit- boot cut jeans, a small silver necklace, a black (and tight in all the right places) shirt that accurately spelled out 'My Boyfriend Sparkles', and finally the black combat boots that he so loved to wear.

"Hm," Alec said, looking in his mirror. "I actually don't hate it…"

"Will you wear some eyeliner?" I asked hopefully.

"_No._"

* * *

><p>Alec and I took his car to the movies and stood in line for a good twenty minutes to get tickets for Gnomeo and Juliet. Yes, Gnomeo and Juliet. I heard it was a cute movie, so why the hell not? Alec didn't want to have to suffer through Twilight so we chose a nice, non-vomit-inducing movie instead.<p>

We walked up to the cashier to buy our popcorn with our hands joined together like they always were when we went somewhere. Alec had started getting much more comfortable with showing public displays of affection, but he wasn't flamboyant about it. The only mildly flamboyant thing on him was his shirt. And I had forced him into wearing that.

"What can I get you?" the cashier asked, sneering at our hands.

I cleared my throat and ordered a large popcorn and to medium sodas. Alec's was cherry Coke and mine was Diet, of course.

"Coming right up," she said in a bitchy tone. I almost didn't hear the faint mutter of 'faggots' under her breath as she typed in the order.

Scoffing, I let go of Alec's hand and put both my hands on the counter. "I'm sorry," I said. "What did you just call us?"

She looked me straight in the eye. "I called you dumb faggots."

My eyes widened in disbelief at the new adjective. I didn't at all understand why people were so hateful and it took me a second to gather my words. "I'd rather be a faggot than a bitchy fat-ass who makes her living by selling popcorn at the local movie theater," I stated. "If you and that hideous hairdo hadn't noticed, we live in the mother fucking 21st century, and 'faggot' isn't the best way to describe us. We prefer 'vaginally impaired.'"

She practically threw our popcorn bucket and sodas at us. "I think you mean 'abomination,'" she spit out.

"_Excuse me_?" Alec asked, leaning forward more. The look on his face was completely incredulous.

"You heard what I said."

"Okay, well," Alec started, feigning a chuckle. "I don't know what happened to you that made you such a _horrible _ human being- maybe your parents didn't like you because you're an ugly lard-ass, or maybe all of the guys you tried to hit on weren't sure if you were a boy, a girl, or a thing, or _maybe_ it's because your jealous that we're happy and in love while you lay alone in your bed with a gallon of Chunky Monkey ice cream- but whatever the fuck it is gives you _no right_ to toss around derogatory terms at people in love." He snatched the popcorn from the table and yanked the sodas from her hand, pushing one into my hand. "So, why don't you do all of us a big, fat favor," he continued. "And stay in your house for the rest of your life if you don't like gay people. Because -news flash- we are here to stay. Either get over it or leave." He grabbed my hand and walked away without another word, getting a few cheers from passersby on the way back to his car. It wasn't until we were sitting in his car that I realized we hadn't paid for our food.

"Alexander," I said to him, my mouth agape but my eyes proud. "That was so kickass!"

He was blushing and I think his eyes were watering, but he just breathed for a second. "I can't believe some people," he muttered. "What's the matter with loving someone who is the same gender as you? Magnus… i-is there something wrong with us?"

I felt my eyes soften and I immediately shook my head. "No," I said quietly. "No, there is nothing wrong with us. We're just like everyone else no matter what _some people_ say."

He nodded and began driving somewhere, turning up the CD that was already playing. Big shocker here, it was My Chemical Romance again. I figured it was one of their albums until Adam Lambert came on, singing out Fever. Alec blushed and attempted to turn it off but I swatted his hand away and grinned at him, beginning to sing along to the CD. He smiled and sang along with me quietly. He wasn't completely tone-deaf and we cranked up the volume loud enough to make old, crotchety men shake their canes at us.

Alec pulled into an empty street and we arrived at the firefly field again. Instead of turning the car off, he drove into the middle of the field and got out with me. Together, we sat on the roof of his car, eating popcorn, drinking stolen sodas, and listening to all of the songs on that CD with the doors open. There were some artists on there that I would've never thought Alec would listen to- Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, lots of Adam Lambert, and various other pop artists.

When the CD ended, it got oddly quiet and I looked at him silently. "Wow, Alec," I said. "You _are_ my boyfriend."

"Shut up," he muttered, blushing deeply. "It's kind of my guilty pleasure, alright? I am still an alternative rock guy all the way, but pop music isn't all that bad either…"

"You secretly love pop," I muttered. "I can see it in your face." He sat up and gave me a playful shake of his head, making his midnight locks fall across his forehead and into his eyes. "You know," I continued. "Now that your CD is over, I have the sudden urge to dance until I pass out… It's only nine, let's go to Pandemonium."

Alec chuckled wistfully. "I haven't been there since I was sixteen," he said.

"All the more reason to go," I countered. "Pwease? Pwetty pwease can we go?"

He looked at my jutted out bottom lip and sighed. "Fine," he said.

I made a noise of delight and gave him a big hug before jumping into the car with him. The drive to Pandemonium was short and easy and we arrived at the teenage-savvy club in no time. It was definitely blasting out its music and anxious teens were waiting in line behind the bouncer. I, however, dragged Alec out of the car and went directly to the front of the line where the bouncer let me in automatically. When Alec gave me a questioning eyebrow raise, I shrugged and said I knew a guy. Truth is, my dad was friends with the owner. I used to get in for free all the time.

The inside of the club was dark but filled with multi-colored lights at the same time. I took Alec's hand, raising it above my head a bit so everyone knew he was mine, and directed him toward the dance floor. I showed him how to dance in an easy way, it was really just moving your hips back and forth and whipping your hair around so he caught on pretty quickly and we were dancing in no time. He wasn't even that bad of a dancer, once he let loose a little.

It may have been five minutes or two hours, I'm not sure, but eventually I went to grab us something to drink. When I got back, Alec was huddled against the wall, looking awkwardly uncomfortable as an almost attractive guy was flirting with him. Alec failed at telling him to piss off so I had to do it for him.

I tapped the guy on the shoulder and he turned around, confused. "He's mine, bitch," I stated simply, gesturing to Alec. "Back off."

Whoever he was rolled his eyes and walked away, glaring at me. I handed Alec his ginger ale and he smiled at me. "Thanks," he muttered into the rim of his glass. "That guy wouldn't stop winking at me. It was like he had a twitch or something."

I laughed as I imagined such a thing. I put my arm around his waist and he did the same, locking us in a tight embrace that displayed the fact that we were together forever and utterly inseparable.

**A/N- Sorry for the long time it took to update and the rushed ending. I tried :D You wanna review and make me feel better about this chapter? Pwease? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
>-Ella. <strong>


	30. Lazy

**A/N- Sorry for taking forever to update. Innocent had me tied up. *smiles **_**innocently**_** and then laughs at her own little pun* Wow, okay, I'll just get on with it.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the freaking plot. Good lord, how many times do I have to say it, it's depressing…<strong>

(Alec POV)

I was lounging on the couch on Monday afternoon when Magnus had to go to the store to make a gel run. I had asked him if he wanted to borrow my car, but he clammed up and said he'd rather take the bus. He seemed shaky the night before when I was too tired to drive, and I figured he'd developed a fear of cars since his father had died in one.

The sound of the door opening brought me out of my daze and Magnus came into view, holding a bag which I assumed had hair gel in it. He kissed me sweetly and sat next to me so I could snuggle into his warm arms.

"Sorry I took so long," he said as he stroked back my long hair. I definitely needed to cut it but he insisted that it looked better when it hung in my eyes; it was like my eyes were a pair of beauteous presents underneath my hair, he said. "There was this parade downtown and I had to stop and look at it for a while."

"Parade?" I repeated, melting into his embrace. "You mean the about New York legalizing gay marriage?"

He answered with another question, "How many other parades are around right now?"

"Good point," I muttered.

"Oh, I got you something," he said randomly, sitting up and leaning over to the bag on the floor. In his hand was a silver chain but I couldn't see the pendant on it yet. Magnus opened his palm and held up the necklace for me to see. It was actually two chains in one, with the pendant being a heart that was split down the middle. One side said 'together' and the other said 'forever.' He smiled at me and handed me the 'together' side. "It is so sixth grade," he said. "But I thought it was kind of cute." He slid he other chain around his neck and I did the same.

"It's very cute," I said, kissing his nose.

"I also bought red velvet cupcakes," he said, reaching into the bag again and pulling out a little case of five delicious looking cupcakes.

"Where did you go?" I asked incredulously.

"Wal-Mart is an amazing place," he said simply.

"So, you went to Wal-Mart to buy hair gel," I started. "And came back with necklaces and cupcakes?" He nodded. "So you're a compulsive buyer?" He nodded again. I paused, but then shrugged. "Well, if it means I get cupcakes then I don't really care."

Smiling, Magnus handed me one and took one for himself. We both sighed in contentment as we bit into the delicious pastries.

There was a loud thumping from above and Isabelle trudged into the living room and on the loveseat across from Magnus and I. She groaned but neither of us said anything, we were too busy enjoying our cupcakes.

"What's the matter?" Magnus asked through a mouthful of frosting.

"Cramps," she muttered. "Do you have any Midol or something?"

"I'm gay, not a woman," Magnus stated. When she groaned again, he offered her a cupcake and she happily took one.

"Is there a reason why you randomly bought a bunch of cupcakes?" she asked suspiciously.

Magnus shrugged nonchalantly. "I wanted some cupcakes," he said. Fair enough.

"Scoot over," Isabelle said as she moved over to the couch we were lying on. Magnus ended up between us and we all munched on our cupcakes happily while MTV was playing in the background.

Jace came downstairs not too long later. His eyes lit up when he saw us eating cupcakes but the look turned to amusement when he saw that we were drooling over some guy on the TV. I may have been just out of the closet, but I could still appreciate an attractive male.

"Wow," he drawled. "Is this like a gay sleepover party?"

I tore my eyes away from the hot guy and glared at Jace. "If I give you a cupcake will you stop talking and go away?" When he didn't answer, I added, "They're red velvet cupcakes."

"Deal," he said, and I tossed him a cupcake. With a stupid grin on his face, he left and I went back to ogling the cute guy.

It may have been ten minutes, or an hour later, but Max came up to us looking adorable as usual. "Hi Izzy," he said. "I thought you were still up in your room."

She answered with a grunt, her eyes still glued to the TV, and I quickly turned it off when Max tried to catch a glimpse of what we were looking at. It wasn't anything bad- it was just a music video where no one was wearing a real shirt- but I still didn't want him to see it. Both Magnus and Isabelle 'myeh'd at me when I did so but I ignored them.

"Hey Max," I said, getting off the couch and bending down to talk to him. "What do you need?"

"Actually," he said while pushing his glasses up his face. "I wanted to see if Magnus would go somewhere with me."

The sparkly man in question got up as well but not before handing Izzy the remote. "Where to?" he asked Max.

"The park," he answered. "It's such a nice day out but Jace won't leave the house." I think I'm the only person who has such a mature little brother. Most kids would stay inside and play video games, but Max actually _wanted_ to go outside. "You wanna come with us, Alec?"

"Sure," I said. "If it's okay with Magnus."

"Let's go then," Magnus said, putting his boots back on. Max and I followed suit and we were at the park in a few minutes.

Max walked in between Magnus and me and held each one of our hands. Every once in a while we would swing him back and forth between us. The park was bustling with a lot of people and I wasn't surprised because Max was right, it was a nice day, though a little hot.

A little kid from across the grass called out to Max and they ran towards each other. I recognized the little kid as Kevin, Max's best friend. His mom waved over to us and I took Magnus' hand and walked up to her.

Her expression changed a bit when her eyes drifted over our joined hands, but her happy smile was right back up in no time and I tried not to let it bother me. "Hello boys," she said sweetly. Kevin and Max were talking animatedly, no doubt about some comic book person.

"Hi Mrs. Anderson," I said. Magnus just smiled and nodded kindly. I felt a tug on my pants leg. Max was grinning and I knew he was up to something.

"Is it okay if I go over to Kevin's house?" he asked quietly.

"Is it okay with Kevin's mom?" I countered. He raised his face up to Mrs. Anderson pleadingly and she nodded at us. "Then go ahead, have fun. You can stay for dinner but you have to be home before eight, okay? Mom and Dad should be home by then and there's school tomorrow." Max nodded excitedly and I let him go off with his friend.

Magnus and I continued down the small path that looped around the entire park. "I cannot get over the utter adorableness of your brother," Magnus said, smiling.

"I know," I agreed. "Sometimes I hope he never grows up so he stays so cute." I turned to Magnus and saw that his eyes and mind were elsewhere. He was looking at a family nearby us on the path with sad eyes. It was a mom, dad, and son, laughing and being happy. "Hey," I said gently, squeezing his hand and he turned his attention back to me. "You alright?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I'm fine, why?"

"You seem sad."

He shrugged. "I'm a little down."

There was an ice cream stand right across the way and I got a miniature idea. "Would ice cream make you feel better?" I asked.

That glorious smile appeared back on his face and he told me that it would make it much better, so I ordered us two cones and we sat on a bench that was farther away from most people. I was still a little shy around people when Magnus and I were holding hands and stuff but I would eventually get more comfortable about it. I loved him with all my heart and nothing could change that.

**A/N- Not exactly happy with that, but it was meant as a filler/way to get rid of writer's block. The next few chapters will be so amazingly awesome that you'll forgive me… I hope… Review?  
>-Ella <strong>


	31. Prom

**A/N- This has taken soooo long to write and I am soooo sorry. This skips forward to Wednesday, mkay? This is dedicated to Adam Lambert. I officially want him to be my GBF and I'm convinced that he IS Magnus Bane. They're the same person… If only he had green/gold cat eyes. He should really invest in some TMI contact lenses… But anyways, I love them both and I am now a Glambert. Oh yes.  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot, dur dur dur. <strong>

(Alec POV _again_)

I was sitting on my bed Wednesday evening, wearing the shirt and pants that went with my tux, and waiting for Magnus to decide what he was going to wear to prom. Yes, prom. It was on a Wednesday night which seemed stupid to me, but Isabelle explained that the day after prom was always Senior Skip Day. It wasn't official, but it might as well have been because last year the entire senior student body was gone that day.

Isabelle and Clary had gone to get their hair/makeup/nails done at the salon downtown. I hadn't seen their dresses yet but I knew from experience that Izzy's would be revealing and black while Clary's would probably be some gold or green color. Jace always wore gold and I bet he wanted them to match.

Adam Lambert was singing about his strut right in my ear and I turned down the volume of my iHome when Magnus came out of the bathroom. He had only been in there for like five minutes and I was excited to see what he came up with.

A glittery top hat and a suit jacket that had spikey shoulders was not what I was expecting.

"What…?" I started.

"I'm Adam Lambert," he stated matter-of-factly. Right as he had said that, the chorus of Strut came on and he sang along with it "_I want to see you strut, strut. Strut. Come on walk for me._"

"Magnus," I called. His crazy antics were funny and had me shaking with laughter, yes, but I had a few questions. "Why do you even have that?"

"I don't know," he mused, tilting the hat in a way that made it somehow look sexy. "I got it for Halloween last year and I thought I'd keep it in case we were ever home alone again."

My cheeks were undeniably red and I waved a hand at him. "You are _not _wearing that to prom," I said. He pouted but turned on his heal and went back to the bathroom.

I had nearly gone through half of my Adam Lambert album when Magnus came back out. It amazed and confused me how he had so many different kinds of clothing and hairstyles and makeup. I had one style and I kept it all the time. Sweaters, boots, and the occasional skinny jeans were my style. But this time Magnus was decked out in head to toe _black_. His hair was falling in his eyes which were covered with black eye shadow and liner. His jeans were tighter than usual, and that's saying something. The kickers were the fishnet gloves he was wearing.

"Even though I really like that one," I started, admiring the tight jeans. "I don't think it's really a prom-worthy outfit. If we ever go to a Nine Inch Nails concert you're allowed to wear that." Huffing, he headed back into his makeshift closet/the bathroom.

There was a small knock on the door and Jace walked in without waiting for me to tell him to. He was wearing the gold suit I had predicted he'd wear but he was barefoot and his hair looked a little messed up.

"Are you busy?" he asked, glancing at my docked IPod that was still blaring Adam Lambert. "Why are you listening to this?"

"It's Magnus' IPod," I lied with a blush on my face, mostly because I'd been singing along with it right before he walked in.

His face said 'Surrrrrre' but he simply nodded. "You didn't answer my first question," he said.

"Which was…?"

"Are you busy?" he repeated.

"Magnus and I are having a fashion show," I said half-jokingly. You couldn't really call it a fashion _show_, but that was the general idea of what Magnus was doing.

Jace blinked at me and his lips parted a bit. "How did I not figure out you were gay sooner?" he asked with teasing sarcasm layered in his voice.

"What do you want?" I asked annoyed.

His answer got cut off by Magnus announcing that his next ensemble was ready for show. Said outfit reminded me of a rapper I had seen on MTV the day before- saggy jeans, a white tank top, and a multiple array of silver and gold chains. I couldn't see what kind of makeup he had on because he was wearing sunglasses. He threw me a peace sign and pressed his lips together.

Jace's laughter erupted into the room and I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to hit him or laugh along with him.

"Magnus," I said, grinning. "Don't you have a suit you can wear?"

"I have my birthday suit…"

"Not the same."

Green-gold eyes rolled toward the ceiling and he went back into the bathroom.

"Seriously Jace," I said. "What do you want?"

"Do you have any shoe polish?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah," I muttered. "It's in my closet."

Jace got up and went to the small closet while I remained on my bed in utter chill-mode. He stood up with the shoe polish in his hand but bent down again to pick something up. Turning to me, he held up a near-empty bottle of cherry lube and raised his eyebrows.

"Do I want to know?" he asked.

My blush got deeper as he came out of the closet **(A/N- Hehe)**__and I wasn't sure what to tell him. Magnus and I… uh… we had been pretty busy the last few days. One day, we actually skipped eighth period and went home before everyone else…

"No," I said, embarrassed. "Just get out."

He laughed and tossed the empty bottle at me. I caught it easily and he was out the door just as Magnus came back in a totally new getup. One of my favorite sweaters was on him and he was also wearing a pair of my jeans.

"_No_," I said simply.

A lovely yet devious smile appeared on his face and he told me that he just wanted to see my reaction. The next time he emerged from the bathroom he was actually wearing a suit. It was a simple black suit with a simple white shirt underneath. But between the shirt and the jacket was a glimmering green vest that matched his untied tie.

"How's this?" he asked seriously.

"That's perfect," I said, tying the blue tie that he had picked out for me.

"Can you come here?" Magnus asked. I was by his side in a second and he looked at me with shining eyes. "I can't tie my tie." He sounded so pitiful that I felt my heart clench and I quickly tied it for him, resting my hands on his chest when I was done. "My dad was supposed to teach me," Magnus continued. "But, you know…"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, snaking my hands around his neck.

He answered with a sigh and put his forehead on my shoulder, crying softly. "Alec, I miss my parents," he muttered quickly. It seemed like he tried to get it out as fast as possible but it was still painful to say. I felt him tremble with a new wave of tears. My hold on him tightened and I murmured small shushes at him. He calmed down in a minute or two and I wiped away his leftover tears.

"Sorry," he said, swiping at my shoulder. "I got your shirt wet."

"It doesn't matter," I said, taking his hand. "Are _you_ okay though?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"_Yes_," he insisted.

"Baby, I'm just worried about you," I said, surprising both of us that I had called him baby. "I want you to be happy."

"I am happy," he said, letting me go and grabbing his shoes from the floor. "Can we go? I don't want to talk about this tonight." He seemed kind of irritated but I didn't comment on it.

"Alright," I said, getting my shoes, too.

Downstairs, Izzy and Clary were there, as well as Simon and Jace. They all looked great but I thought Simon was staring at Izzy's boobs (which were so blatantly displayed) way too much. I guess I was the only one who noticed.

My mom made us all pose for a bunch of group pictures and then got the individual couples together. Dad, on the other hand, stood off to the side with a small, proud smile on his face. When Mom bugged Magnus and me to take a few photos, he instantly put his arm around my waist and smiled broadly. Right before she snapped the picture, he snuck a kiss on my cheek and I heard the three women in the room go 'Awww!'

"That one's a keeper," my mom said. I wasn't sure if she was referring to the picture or my boyfriend so I simply smiled and nodded. She ushered us out and we all split up into different cars.

Magnus and I drove to the hotel they were letting us use for prom in silence. He was being difficult and I didn't know why. After a few minutes I asked him about it.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked him quietly, my eyes glued to the road.

"No," he said. "Why?"

"You seem bothered by something."

"I don't know," he muttered. "It just hit me all of a sudden. We've got prom and a few days of packing and then we're going to college. It kind of scares me; like this is the last chance we have to be crazy teenagers."

"I know what you mean." I said. "So how about we enjoy this night and think about all of the scary things later?"

"Alright," he said somewhat happily.

"You promise?" I asked.

"I promise."

"Good," I said as I parked the car. "Now let's go have fun."

We both stepped outside, people bustling all around us, and I took his hand. Together, we walked into the big, probably very expensive hotel, and into the main lobby where it was decorated with streamers and lights and food. There were already a ton of seniors there and the music was up really loud. Literally as soon as Magnus and I stepped foot into that place, an Adam lambert song came on. Magnus laughed and pulled me onto the dance floor where we were surrounded by teenagers. He told me to dance like I had at Pandemonium and I did just that.

A few hours later, we were both beat and waiting to see who the Prom King and Queen were when I went over to one of the tables to grab some punch.

"Don't drink that!" Simon said as he walked up to me. "I just saw Jace spike it with something from a flask so you'll probably get a buzz from it."

"Oh," I said, setting down my cup in dismay. "Thanks for the heads up."

"No problem…"

"If you hurt my sister I'm going to kill you," I straightforwardly said.

"I-I know," he said, smiling in a scared way. "Jace already gave me that whole speech. The last thing I'd ever do is hurt Isabelle."

"Good."

A loud voice that I recognized as the principal's boomed over the speakers. "Now it's time to announce the Prom King and Queen!" he said.

I nodded to Simon and went back over to Magnus who looked at me questioningly when I didn't have any punch. I quickly told him Jace spiked it and he pouted for a second before settling down in his seat and putting his arm around me. We had long since abandoned out jackets and were quickly cooling off.

"This year's Prom Queen is…" He opened up an envelope and beamed out into the crowd. "Isabelle Lightwood!"

I saw her kiss Simon on the cheek before going up on stage and receiving her fake crown and flowers. Magnus and I cheered loudly, as we had both voted for her. She was actually one of the most popular girls in the school and was bound to be the Prom Queen.

"And Prom King is…" Another envelop was open and his face took on an odd shape. "Jace Wayland…!"

There was a mixture of laughing and cheering in the crowd as Jace got his crown as well. It was mostly funny because the Prom King and Queen were supposed to share a slow dance together. The slow music started up and Izzy whispered something to Jace on stage. They went back to the dance floor and it seemed like they were actually going to dance with each other when they suddenly went to opposite ends of the floor. Izzy came back with Simon and Jace with Clary. They danced with the appropriate couples and Izzy waved Magnus and I forward.

Along with some other people, we joined them in the slow dance and eventually everyone was dancing with their significant other to a beautiful love song.

"Alexander," Magnus whispered in my ear. My head was resting on his shoulder and his breath tickled my ear. "I love you."

We told each other that all the time, but that time it sounded different. He said it with more force than usual and his breath caught near the end. I let my eyes move over to his chest and saw the silver chain of his spilt heart necklace.

"I love you, too," I said, looking up into his eyes. I leaned up and kissed him sweetly just as the song ended.

"You want to go home?" Magnus asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Just give me a second." I handed him the keys and he went to go start up the car while I walked over to Izzy.

"Hey," she said, smiling widely and giving me a hug.

"Congratulations," I said.

"Thanks. Oh, don't drink the punch, Jace-"

"I know," I said, holding up my hand to stop her. "Magnus and I are heading home."

She puffed out her bottom lip. "Why are you leaving so soon? It's only 12:30."

"We're tired," I stated. "We can only dance for so long until we pull something."

She laughed and gave me another hug. "I'll see you soon."

"Make sure Jace doesn't kill anyone on his way home," I told her. I went back to the car and found Magnus waiting patiently on the passenger's side.

We drove home in a comfortable silence, unlike the one from earlier, and I held his hand the entire way there.

My mom was surprised to see us home so early. I was surprised to see her still awake at nearly one o'clock in the morning. "Did you two have fun?" she asked kindly.

"Mhm," I muttered, kicking off my shoes and dragging Magnus upstairs with me. "We're going to sleep." Magnus and I stumbled up to my room and got in our pajama pants. They were really just sweatpants but it was more fun to call them pajama pants.

When I was done brushing my teeth, I walked back to my bed and saw Magnus lying there… wearing one of my baggy sweatshirts.

"Why are you wearing that?" I asked quietly as I crawled into the bed with him.

"I was cold," he said simply. "And this smells like you."

"I have a smell?" I asked curiously.

"Mhm," he murmured as he snuggled into my arms. He suddenly seemed very small.

"What do I smell like?" I asked.

"My favorite place," he said, drifting off into the depths of sleep. "Home."

**A/N- I'm not very fond of this chapter, but I do still like it. You should tell me what you think in a review. Please? Pretty pretty please with Adam Lambert and Malec and sprinkles and chocolate on top?  
>BTW- It's not over yet. There's still graduation and then them going off to college. I'm giving it two more chapters or so and then it is finished.<br>Later!  
>-Ella<strong>


	32. Graduation

**A/N- I'm so sorry this took so freaking long! Jeez, thanks for the reviews though! Only a few chapters left! BTW- Speedy-Turtle-91, I love you and your hilarious reviews. I giggle every time I read them! I meant to PM you about that but uh… I'm an awfully lazy person :3  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot.<strong>

(Magnus POV)

_It's hot_, was the only thing on my mind as I sat in the sticky, metal fold-up chair. I was sitting (very uncomfortably) in a big crowd of the seats during our highschool graduation ceremony. We were seated in ABC order so Alexander was much farther away from me, but I could still see him a few rows behind me if I craned my neck enough. I put my hands together to make a heart and discreetly showed it to him. He blushed adorably and did the same.

The day before, he and I had spent the entire day packing up all of our things for college. Most of my stuff was still lying around in my bags from when I made the move to Alec's house, but we still had to make the tearful trip down to my house to get a few more things. My house was up for sale as of that moment and most of the place had been cleaned up, my parents' things packed away into boxes but my room left untouched. I gave all of my video games to Max and grabbed a few personal items- every family picture I could scour, a ring that my mother used to wear, and the little bunny rabbit they had gotten me when I was a tiny baby.

My mother's ring hadn't left my right pointer finger since I picked it up. Alec's room was filled with our stuff and we only had one day to relax until we headed off to college that Sunday.

But getting back to the ceremony-

Our lame, balding principal was giving a lame, boring speech about something that was probably very lame and very boring. It was also boring. And hot. We were all anxiously waiting for him to start calling our names and handing out the diplomas. Alec's parents and little brother were there. I wish mine had been there, too…

Snapping back to attention, I blinked furiously and shook the hair out of my eyes, making the fringe thingy on my cap swing around. I had promised both Alec and myself that there wouldn't be any tears that day. It was supposed to be a good day, a day for celebration and moving forward into new and unexplored horizons- College with Alec, hopefully a happy college life and a good career and maybe, if everything goes well, a marriage. I wasn't going to think about things like that when I was only eighteen, but if I had to choose someone to spend the rest of my life with it would definitely be Alexander Lightwood.

Clapping erupted throughout the chairs of students, faculty, and family members as the principal finished his lame speech and grabbed the diplomas. All of the students stood up and got into line, still in ABC order, whilst the sweaty principal called out each of our names.

I was quite close to the front, so it wasn't long before I was called up to receive my rolled up diploma. Mr. My Toupee Is Crooked shook my hand and moved my cap tassel to the other side. What that had to do with anything, I do not know. As I walked to the other side of the stage, everyone clapped like they had for the students before me, but I did hear Alec give an enthusiastic and very loud 'Woot!' in my favor. Sufficed to say, I smiled quite broadly.

There was a long period of time where I was forced to stand and wait in the sweltering heat, but Alec's name did eventually get called and I cheered very loudly, earning odd looks from the students next to me. Soon enough, everyone's name had been called and another speech was made, this time by the valedictorian.

Halfway through the speech that I wasn't listening to, I migrated towards the end of the line of new alumni and right next to Alec. He jumped when I slid one of my hands around his waist but leaned into my embrace in no time.

My mind hardly registered the fact that the valedictorian's speech was pretty much what I had thought about just minutes ago. He was talking about how we should enjoy our lively freedom while we still could and not focus on the big things just yet. Have fun, he said. Be who you are and figure out what you want to do with your life when that time comes. Then there was more cheering, although I think he used the same speech that girl used in one of the Twilight movies… Not that I would know…

I looked at Alec, no doubt with a light in my eyes, and we threw our blue graduation caps into the humid air along with everyone else. Using the collar of his matching gown, I pulled him forward and kissed him, the caps falling down all around us. I would have preferred to kiss him in actual rain, but raining caps was just as satisfying.

* * *

><p>Saturday came and Alec and I used it to simply relax. There had been a small (pssh) party after the graduation ceremony and lots of pictures. Also, crying. So much crying. So, Saturday was our official lazy day. We were lounging on the couch together, literally doing absolutely nothing, when he said my name, ending it with an insinuated question mark.<p>

"Hm?" I murmured lazily, running my long fingers through his inky black hair.

"Uhm," he started, sitting up straighter and looking at me shyly. "I have a question for you." He blushed deeply and I grinned at him.

"Go on," I said.

"Uhm," he said again, not catching my eye. "How… how do you fit into skinny jeans every day?"

"Well," I began. "I simply put my legs into the leg holes and tug them on."

"No, that's not what I meant," he muttered.

"What _did_ you mean?" I asked, confused.

"How do you fit _it-_" he pointed to my general leg area "-into skinny jeans?"

"What?" I asked, my hand going down to my pockets. "My phone?" I pulled out the bedazzled electronic and held it up. "I just slip it into my pocket. It's small enough. See?" I put it back in my pocket and looked at Alec, who was blushing in a way that made me think it was quite unhealthy.

"That's not what I meant either," he muttered. "How do you fit _it_ into your skinny jeans every single day?"

"Alexander, darling, you've _got _to be more specific," I insisted. "You're being rather vague."

His groaned and covered his face with the hand that wasn't currently occupied by mine. "How… how do you manage to get tight pants over your…?" He paused and looked at me pleadingly. "You know what I mean."

"I honestly have no idea what you're trying to say right now," I said.

"Don't make me say it…"

"Well now I'm interested," I said jokingly. "As my boyfriend, you are obligated to tell me. You want me to start showing you my Asian side?" He shook his head and his long bangs feel into those amazing eyes of his. "Then tell me."

"How," he started, struggling to find the right words. "Is it physically possible for you to put on skinny jeans all the time?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you calling me fat?"

"No," he said quickly, holding up a hand. "No, that's not what I was implying. How do you fit your… your thing into such tight jeans?"

"My thing?" I repeated. "So… now we're five?"

"Oh my god, Magnus!" he exclaimed. "How the fuck do you fit your huge dick into those skinny jeans you're always wearing? _How_?"

I grinned. "It's simple, really," I said. "I go commando."

He blushed such a deep shade of red that I think his cheeks started turning an odd purple color and he huffed at me. "You knew what I meant the entire time!" heexclaimed. "Why did you make me say that?"

Shrugging, I said, "I just wanted to hear you say I have a big dick."

His fist came into contact with my shoulder, but not enough to hurt. "Your ego is bigger than Jace's," he muttered.

"No," I said. "My ego is smaller but I'm almost positive that my dick is much larger."

"Magnus," he whined. "You suck!"

"Yes," I said mischievously. "Yes, I do."

"Okay, enough with the innuendo."

"In your endo." He got an irritated and slightly angry look on his face so I stopped. "Sorry," I muttered, pulling towards me again. "Forgive me?"

He sighed into my chest as I put my arm around him. "Fine," he said, resting his hand on my thigh. "But only because you're cute."

"I'm okay with that," I said, kissing the top of his head, completely as ease. And, if I could have, I would've frozen that moment in time and stayed there forever. I was finally _happy_.

**A/N- Aw, how cute. Sorry for taking for-fucking-ever with updating this. I've been busy. Also, sorry for the shortness. It's a filler chapter, get over it. Up next, the very last chapter EVER! I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it. *sniffle* Review or I'll never post it again. Not really, but still- review!  
>-Ella :3<strong>


	33. College

**A/N- This is the last chapter! :'( Can you believe it? I can't! Let me just say thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for reading this and reviewing and stuff! You all are so amazing! Here is the final chapter!  
>Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot. <strong>

(Alec POV)

"Are we almost there?" Magnus whined. "It's hot."

I looked over at his sweaty form and nodded. "Just a few more minutes." He was tired and hot from the drive and I didn't feel any better. We were both clad in tank tops and shorts, it was so freaking hot. It may have been sweltering, but I still got to see Magnus wearing a muscle shirt so I was internally happy.

Magnus and I were both sweaty and irritated by the time we got to Idris University. My car was only so big and it got pretty cramped with two people, a cat, and all of our possessions. Jace and Clary took his car to see us off and then they were going over to Raziel. Isabelle, Mom, Dad, and Max had taken the family van.

We unloaded our things from my car while my mom went to go check us in. Isabelle was standing next to the van, muttering about Simon being late or something. His mom was freaking out about him going to college and they had gotten on the road later than us.

My mom came back a minute later with a bunch of papers and she passed them out to Magnus and I. The papers were generally welcome pamphlets and maps and things of that sort, but something caught my eye. Magnus had the same dorm number that I did. We were roommates.

"Magnus," I said, nudging his arm. "Look at this."

He smiled mischievously and nodded. "I know," he said. "I pulled some strings. You're welcome." He kissed my sweaty forehead and I blushed, still not completely used to being all touchy feely with him. Before we left that morning, Magnus promised he would tone it down a little until I was more comfortable with things of that nature.

Magnus picked up Chairman Meow and walked over to a very sad Max, bending down to his eye level. "Hey Max," he said. "I want you to have something." He held out the tiny cat and Max's eyes got wide.

"Really?" he asked. "You'll let me keep Chairman Meow?"

"Of course," he insisted. "I know you'll take good care of him. Make sure you feed him twice every day; once in the morning and once after supper. He really likes it when you scratch right under his chin and sometimes during thunderstorms he'll crawl onto your lap." He stopped when he got teary eyed. "Just take him."

Max did as he was told and hugged Magnus for quite a while before running off to my mom and showing her his new pet. I think she was slightly annoyed to have another feline in the house but she didn't let it show in her face.

"That was sweet," I told Magnus, who was wiping away a stray tear. He just nodded.

Isabelle looked bored and annoyed so she went up to Magnus and offered to help bring things up to the dorm room. She never offered to do anything so I knew she must have been _really_ bored. Clary said she would help, too and they all grabbed armfuls of things to carry up to the big building.

My parents and Max came up to me at that moment and they all gave me big hugs. "We'll see you for Thanksgiving?" my mom asked. "And you'll call if you need anything?"

"Yes, mom," I said.

She gave me another hug and Max tugged on my pants leg. "Look at what Magnus gave me!" he said excitedly, holding up his new, fluffy feline. Chairman Meow purred happily and licked Max's cheek.

"That was nice of him," I said. "Make sure you play with him a lot, okay?"

He nodded and hugged my waist. "I love you, Alec," he said. "I hope you have fun in college!"

"I love you too, Max," I ruffled his hair and he ran off with my mom and back to the van.

My dad awkwardly patted me on the back. "We'll miss you, son," he said. "We're heading out now. Your sister wants to wait for her boyfriend to get here. Make sure they don't do anything horrible, okay?"

I nodded and he smiled at me before he left with Mom and Max.

Jace, who had been oddly quiet the entire time, slowly walked up to me and shrugged. "So," he started. "College."

"Yeah," I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets even though it was unbelievably hot. "What about it?"

He shrugged again. "I don't know," he muttered. "It's just gonna be different without my big bro around." He seemed like he wanted to say something but was too stubborn to do so.

"You'll get used to it," I said with a grin. Jace grinned too but his heart wasn't in it. Something was obviously bothering him, he was biting his lip and rubbing his neck. "You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I just gotta know… How long were you and Magnus uh… dating before you came out?"

I paused, trying to remember. "Only a week or two," I concluded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he burst out. "I'm your brother! You fessed up to Isabelle but you didn't tell me? Is it… is it because I'm not your real brother?"

"Jace," I said calmly. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier but that is not the reason why. Isabelle only found out before you because she has a seriously perfect gaydar. I didn't really want to believe it myself and I thought that you wouldn't think of me the same way if I told you. No matter what you're my brother, blood related or not."

"I don't care if you're gay," he practically whispered. "It wouldn't have made any difference if you had just told me earlier."

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"Me, too," he muttered. "But it doesn't matter now; you told me and that's all I wanted." He stopped for a second and looked me in the eye. "You and Magnus love each other right?" I nodded. "And you're happy, right?"

"Absolutely," I said.

"Good," he said, averting his eyes. "I'm glad you finally found someone. I was getting worried there." That grin he was always wearing appeared on his face as he playfully punched my arm. "Y'know, if Magnus ever hurts you, I want you to call me up and I'll make sure he apologizes the hard way."

"You don't have to worry about that," I told him. "But I will be sure to call you if I ever need to."

Suddenly, his arms were around my shoulders and he was hugging the breath out of me. "I'm gonna miss you, man," he muttered in my ear. He sounded choked up and I wondered if he was crying or not.

I hugged him back. "I'll miss you, too."

Clearing his throat, he let me go and swiped at his eyes. Isabelle, Clary, and Magnus were back to make a second trip of carrying things up to our dorm when Izzy stopped short.

"Are you crying?" she asked Jace.

"No," he said, sniffling a bit. "There are bugs in both my eyes and I'm trying to drown them."

"Right," she said skeptically. "Well help Clary and I with these bags okay? The more hands we have the faster you can get to Raziel."

"I'm coming," he said while waving a hand at them. Once they were out of sight, he gave me a less bone-crushing hug. "I love you, bro. Don't get into too much trouble."

Someone was coming up the hill behind Jace and he tapped him on the shoulder. It was Simon, looking hot (temperature wise) and beaming.

"Hey you two," he said. "Where's your sister?"

"Simon!" the said raven haired girl cried, running into his arms. "I was waiting for you!"

The got into a couple's conversation that made me want to gag so I said goodbye to Jace and let him and Clary leave for Raziel while Simon and Izzy mysteriously disappeared.

Not too long later, everything had calmed down and Magnus and I were lounging in our air-conditioned dorm room. It was pretty simple with beds on either side, two dressers, bedside tables, a nice desk, and a connecting bathroom.

Magnus sat on one of the beds as I began unpacking some of my stuff. "Alexander," he said. "Don't you think the bags can wait?"

"Well, I guess we don't have to unpack everything right now," I agreed.

"Good," he said. "Because I think we should really break in these new beds."

"What do you…?" The question I was about to ask died in my throat when I saw the look on his face. "Oh…"

He stood up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. My lips were captured by his soft ones and whatever I had been holding before that fell to the carpeted floor with a small thump. His tongue was immediately in my mouth and it wasn't like I was complaining.

"I love you," he breathed in my ear.

"I love you, too," I whispered back. I just barely rolled my hips against his and he moaned, pushing me down on the bed.

_If this is what college life is like,_ I thought. _Then I could definitely get used to it._

**A/N- Wow, I hate that ending. Oh wells, what can you do? Who else is sad that this is over? I know I am! But, I'm also proud that I actually finished something that **_**didn't **_**totally suck ass! Hurray! You should still review because I want to know what you think about this!  
>As for the future, you never know what I might post on here. So keep a look out for some type of Malec story from me… I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. *laughs evilly and then dramatically disappears into the night*<br>-Ella :')**


	34. Fairwinds, readers

**Hey everyone, sorry this isn't an update, but you still have a reason to get your hopes up- I've posted a sequel to this. It's called Somewhere Only We Know and it's co-written with my friend Bee, but there's no need to worry because she is a better writer than I am. Like, legitimately awesome. So please go read that if you're in the mood for some nice Malec.  
>Thank you all for readingreviewing Changes and I hope you'll like the sequel just as much :D  
><strong>

**With immense amounts of love,  
>Ella (blacknails512)<strong>


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